That being said, I found out yesterday that I have a hernia, or a torn abdominal muscle, or both. The doctor doesn't really know and says because of my 'weight issue' she was having a hard time 'manipulating' my muscles. Truth be told, I need no manipulation of my muscles or anything else, thank you very much ... I just wanted her to tell me I wasn't dying, because again full disclosure; I am a full blown hypochondriac and as soon as I felt that weird burning, tearing, aching, unnatural sensation just below my right breast every time I bent over or did anything that engaged my abs I could swear a tumor was growing bigger and bigger and soon it would crush my lungs or my heart or both and I would die. Ok, I'm not that bad. But I did want her to tell me it was a muscle tear or a hernia because generally those situations aren't fatal.
So now that I have at least one but possibly both of those (she will order a CT scan to confirm if I am not feeling better within 2 weeks) I am not allowed to lift more than 5lbs which I promotly forgot today and lifted my 55lb screaming brat child off the floor and carried her to her bed for timeout. I also consciously cuddled our kitties who weigh 12 and 16lbs respectively and I'm not even ashamed. Their cuddles and purrs make me feel safe. Yeah, that's a jab at some people. Again, I feel no shame. I do feel extremely nauseated though. I suppose I deserve it.
On a serious note, I picked up all the photos I had separated for my sisters wedding slideshow and resorted them from 'photos that look so adorable together I could vomit', to 'pictures of him' and another pile of 'pictures of her'. It was actually a very sad 10 minutes as I sat on the floor and thought back through the few months they had been engaged and all the excitement we had felt. I feel especially bad for her even though according to those closest to her she is doing exceptionally well. Apparently she invited him over to ask him red flag questions last night to make sure she had made the right decision. Aaaand apparently he failed each question, confirming for her in her mind that she had made the right decision to cancel the wedding. Now to store the dress, get deposits for locations, photographers, and honeymoon reservations back. It is a true blessing in disguise that they weren't able to come to an agreement on invitations until recently and they were only about to order them. Telling hundreds of guests with newly received invitations that the wedding is off before they even have time to read the card would be a little awkward.
And now I am ready for bed, but I can't go to bed. On the weekdays I pride myself on being a strict and well scheduled mom of two incredibly responsible and well behaved little girls who clean up their messes and get in their jammies when I tell them it's bedtime without complaint. We pray and sing and they fall asleep like angels. #truestory #noexaggeration I then tuck them in, kiss their sweet soft cheeks and climb into my own bed to either watch some Tv or go to sleep myself. #thegoodlife But I don't like to be tyrant mommy on Friday and Saturday . It's just too exhausting to make it an every day thing. So bedtimes go out the window, desserts are free-for-all and it's not unheard of to fall asleep to the blaring TV. Right now, at 11:30 pm Sass is reading to Breezy in their bedroom as they play dolls. I think it's adorable and wouldn't trade it for an extra wink of sleep or anything else ever. That doesn't mean I can't close my eyes and listen to the story also though. So goodnight blog world.
Until next time ...