Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Grinch AKA My Husband

This year I expected Christmas to be special. Heck, I don't know why. Except maybe because it was Buzzy's first! Oh and because it was Myturo's and my first as parents. Oh and maybe because it was snowing beautifully two weeks out with no sign of stopping. (hence the song?) BUT . . . my dreams were dashed and I am only thankful that Buzzy is too young still to know the difference.
Like I said, it had been snowing pretty well about two weeks before Christmas but the week before it really started coming down and Buzzy and I got stuck at my mom's house about 13 miles away from home. I was unable to drive. In fact it seemed my husband was the ONLY brave soul willing to go out in the knee deep snow to drive. But come Christmas Eve, when I asked him if he would be coming to see us, the answer I got was this:
"Why? What is over there for me?"
Oh well, since you put it that way! Stay home! Go back to Mexico! Hell, fall off the edge of the earth for all I care!
So Buzzy and I spent her first Christmas with Gramma, Great Gramma and Grandpa, Great aunt J n Great uncle E, Auntie C and Cousin L. It was nice. Fun! Beautiful! But it wasn't what I had hoped for.
Now it is New Years Eve. We are on the brink of commencing a new beginning. My husband had the night off. But a co-worker called and asked him to work and he jumped at the chance so fast it truly has me wondering if my child and I have a disease we don't know about. In any case, he won't be celebrating with us. Oh well. We'll get used to it.
I wonder what 2009 will bring us. More pain and suffering or as a white Christmas predicts in the old folktales, a prosperous (better) New Year.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What Was & What Is

A bit of history:
I met my husband when I was 15, just about to turn 16. He was 23, just about to turn 24. I had just started my first job. He has been working three full time jobs for the past 2 years. I was still in high school and had never had a serious relationship. He was just out of a bad relationahip with a girl who literally went nuts. I was an ignorant, green as they come adolescent and he an illegal alien. So, yes. You read correctly if you found yourself reading between the lines. I married an illegal alien/pedofile. Man, I can pick em huh?
So anyway, we dated for 6 years before he proposed and unfortunately the proposal was somewhat forced on my side. After the proposal he left for Mexico. He wouldn't be able to come back unless he came back illegally again or I applied for a VISA for him, hence forcing him to propose and therefore making what I thought was a solid and unbreakable commitment. I didn't realize forced committment comes with a variety of resentments and other not so fun things.
So I applied for the Fiance VISA and went to live in Mexico with him for 6 months. We came back in November of 2006 and were married a few days later by the Justice of the Peace due to a 90 day clause in the VISA.
Shortly after we were married our two adult nephews came to live with us. That in itself, I could write a novel about. An excerpt from a blog I had written previously goes something like this:

The Nephew From H.E... Double Hockey Sticks!!
So last night was mainly filled with peaceful sleep. I awoke once to Myturo getting up to take one nephew to work. FINE. Then I awoke again when the phone rang. FINE. It happened to be my future work calling to see if I would come in for an interview today. ABSOLUTELY! Then in the middle of the conversation the nephew who remains home . . . WHY??? turns on his rock/rap/grunge/punk/German screaming SHIT and starts blaring it throughout the house. I am positive the lady offering me the interview can hear it because there is a pause in her voice like HMMM WTF IS THAT?... On top of it it started at 10:30AM. He has been explicitly told he is not to listen to his dumb ass loud music until 11:00AM. He is sooo disrespectful and Myturo just WILL NOT kick him out on his unappreciative ASS! So now I am sitting here, seething... watching my husband sleep peacefully through the rackett. I wanted to cuddle back up next to him after my phone call but NOT WITH THIS PANDEMONIUM MUSIC BLARING THROUGH MY HOUSE. I feel like I live in a house that worships Satan even though I have no idea what the words of the songs say. ITS AWFUL! Someone save me . . .

We tried for one year to have our first child and on June 25th, 2007 I got my first positive pregnancy test. This pregnancy ended in a miscarriage but I fell pregnant again in September and now have a beautiful, almost 7 month old baby girl, Buzzy. I am also 2 months pregnant with our second baby. My husband is still working like a dog at two jobs but now making ends meet. I am a stay at home mom, trying to keep our family together but struggling with my individuality and independence against my husband's wishes for a stereotypical cook/maid/child bearing/bow down at his feet type wife. And that brings us to the present.

THIS, might I add, is the extremely shortened version of the long story behind us that was ladened with heartache, jealousy, physical-emotional-and mental anguish, as well as anger, resentment and spite. Not to mention the legal battles, the loss of 3 body parts (sounds funny, but is true), financial death and the family feuds between two families who have never met, let alone spoken.
The main Characters: Myself, my husband - Myturo, my daughter - Buzzy and my unborn baby - Little Nameless.
Here you will read about my fears, my triumphs, my pain, my anger and my hopes and dreams. Here you will hear about my past in more detail. I often get nostalgic and reminisce into my past, both the good and bad times. So if you're interested. Sit back, prepare your scrolling finger and read on about my life living on the border.
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