Monday, January 12, 2009

If Only I Could Poop Money . . .

I was reading a friend's blog today and I completely relate with her on so much when it comes to our babies, who are both girls and the same age and basically going through the 'fabulous 7 month old fussies'. I also relate to her when it comes to our bills, the economy and work or lack there-of induced stress.

For the past, Oh, I don't know, maybe 6 months Myturo and I have JUST been making it. And when I say making it I don't mean paying all our bills. I mean JUST making it by putting food in our mouths and clothes on our backs and a roof over our head. None of the frivolous stuff like minimum credit card payments (which are growing exponentially like a lethal tumor) or car loan payments, or internet service payments, or even cell phone service payments are getting paid. It is a wonder anyone is willing to work with us.

My husband used to work 2 jobs. Both 5 days a week. Now he works 1 job 5 days a week and 1 job 2 days a week and because of the economy the customers have dwindled and therefore his checks have too. There is nothing quite as humiliating as having collection agency after collection agency call you, tell you that you are a "valued and very good customer" and that "the missed payment surely was an oversight in your finances". There is nothing more humbling than having to say, "no, I'm sorry. It was not an oversight. We simply don't have the funds to pay our bills this month." And then as they explain payment plans and hardship allowances I think to myself, "and I don't know if I'll be able to pay it next month or the month after either."

All I can say is thank God for the state. My Uncle has called me a socialst/communist because I am thankful for the State insurance that allows me fantastic obstetric care during pregnancy due to our low income. He tells me I'm abusing the system by allowing WIC to pay for the necessities, like the $14.99 a 12oz jar of formula for Buzzy or eggs or peanutbutter or cereal or milk. But all I can say is I thank God for these programs every day because without them, I don't know where we'd be.

Stress is a HUGE part of my life right now. On top of being broke-ass-poor, and on top of being pregnant I am also sick. I have been sick for going on a week. Sore throat, laryngitis off and on, stuffed/runny nose and a cough that hurts like hell. I thank God Buzzy hasn't gotten it . . . KNOCK ON WOOD! On top of being sick I hurt my hand which makes it difficult to do every day things such as pick Buzzy up with both hands, bend my hand certain ways. I think it must be a mixture of carpul tunnel and torn/sprained or over extended ligaments, but let me tell you what! IT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER! And although my OB said it would be okay for me to get it x-rayed as long as they cover my belly, I am hesitant. I don't want anything to hurt my unborn baby.

This morning I missed Buzzy's well check-up and immunizations. Oh Darn! LOL I called and told them it was because I'm pregnant and have been sick which is only half a lie. I wasn't about to say I was too lazy to get out of bed at 7:30am and not about to wake Buzzy who was sleeping sooo peacefully. Well, the receptionist I spoke to, Susan, I think had it out for someone today. Because I got the full gammot run-around. She told me I would be receiving a letter in the mail and I could be dropped from the practice if I miss anymore appointments. When I requested the nurse I always request for Buzzy's shots (cuz she's so good) I was told that that nurse is not my current pediatricians nurse and that if I wanted her I should have stayed with my old pediatrician. There was more and by the time I was done talking to her I could almost really see red. I could imagine cartoon steam coming out of my ears and imagined also if I opened my mouth I may breathe fire. I hate people like that!! But in the end I got my way. I refuse to allow people like that to walk all over me when I know what I am requesting is not unreasonable.

And lastly. I am super irritated. With myself. I have been mulling over this semi-fictional, semi-autobiographical novel I would like to write. I keep it turning and spinning and evolving in my head but the moment I sit down to write, nothing emerges from my finger tips. I am so frustrated. I have wanted to write and publish a book since I was approximately 10 years old when all I was interested in was sex/smut/romance/cartoons and more sex and smut. LOL Now that my taste and interests have expanded and my experience in life has become a bit more prominent (as you should always 'write what you know') I figure now would be fabulous. But can I? Oh I don't know. I guess the title of this blog should be, "IF ONLY I COULD POOP MONEY, OR THE DAMN BOOK IM TRYING TO WRITE . . . "

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