Friday, March 27, 2009

Fear

I have this theory and I have had it basically my whole life. I learned at an early age that the things we fear the most usually happen when we least expect them to and generally come as a huge life altering shock. And thus my theory was born:

If I think it will happen, before it happens it will most likely not happen.

Along with this theory is the unspoken clause that states that in the event that I imagine it will happen and it still happens, I have already thought of it and therefore I am more prepared and it has less of a shock.

Silly?
Unrealistic?
Idealistic?

Maybe.

But I have found myself relying on this theory for much of my life lately, instead of leaving it in God's ever capable hands as I should. Instead I imagine people I love, getting sick, suffering, dying, getting hurt, and many other horrible things I wish I wouldn't think of all in the name of my darn theory.

I keep trying not to think that way. I pray and try desperately to leave it to God, but like a hot frying pan handle, once you've grabbed it and your skin has burnt to it, it is nearly impossible to let go of, no matter how necessary letting go might be.

On another note:
CONGRATULATIONS A & J!! YOU FINALLY DID IT!!

And that for now, is all I've got.

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