Thursday, May 28, 2009


Yesterday, I attempted to write a blog post through my cell phone, but I guess it was so long that blogger took the entirety of the text and split it into 12 different posts, all of which you had to read from the bottom up. LOL, so I guess I won't be doing that anymore. For anyone who didn't try to boggle their minds reading it, this is what it said:

(Start Post from yesterday)

A small update:

I have successfully written close to 40 pages of what I hope to eventually be a 1000 page manuscript that can be broken up into 2-3 novels. Every large feat starts with one small step, right?

Little Nameless has been excruciatingly active and I have been fighting, anemia, dehydration (thanks to the massive heat wave) and a possible 24 hour stomach bug that doesn't know how to tell time because so far, we're going on 48 hours. I am tired of being nauseous , of vomiting, of being dizzy and light headed spells. Anyone bet I could complain just a little more? LOL Thankfully I have a max of 11 weeks left but hopefully it will be more like 8 or 9.

Buzzy is super cranky, and I'm not sure why. Maybe her top two teeth that still haven't cut are bugging her. Maybe she is sick and tired of having a dud for a mommy. Maybe she's wishing she could trade me in. ((sigh))

And then there is Myturo. Sometimes, he just doesn't seem to get it. He's pretty self absorbed (but then who am I to talk) and becomes irritable if I ask for too much help with Buzzy. Hence, and I know I've said it before, but I will reiterate, we will be having NO MORE BABIES, anytime soon, if ever.

Buzzy's first birthday cake is ordered. Now I just need to feel well enough to go buy dishes, utensils, decorations and balloons. I'm jealous, though. The day after we celebrate her birthday practically my entire family (except me) is taking a vacation to Orcas Island to whale/dolphin watch and relax. Can we say green eyed monster of jealousy residing right here inside me, and no I'm not talking about Little Nameless.

Well, that's all. My stomach is starting to hurt again. Until next time!

(End post from yesterday)

(And end post from today too, as clothing, toothbrush and lunch is calling my name.)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday Morning & Contact Link?

Sunday mornings used to be relaxing. I used to wake up of my own accord, possibly go to church or join my family afterward for a bite of breakfast. Then whatever was on the agenda was spontaneous and fun/or relaxing. Now-a-days I wake up because my husband likes to walk around scratching which sounds like thunder when you're fast asleep. I was then awoken again when my innocent unborn Little Nameless decided to inadvertently kick my cervix, several times. Ouch! And then once more when Buzzy woke. ((sigh)) Buzzy then promptly decided to give me a diaper present so messy, so stinky I thought she might implode from all the effort. Then my brain told me to do the same. Go implode! Ugh! So I did, and came up with some fairly decent plot ideas for my BIP (book in progress) because you all know how well I think on the toilet and now Buzzy is throwing a fit cuz she wants my phone. Poor Buzzy.

Also, I've posted it before but for anyone who would like to e-mail me, and doesn't already have my e-mail, it is:

Saturday, May 23, 2009

As of Late . . .

Not much and a whole lot has been happening at the same time, as of late. Lots of laundry (undone) lots of food (uncooked) lots of spongebob square pants (Buzzy's favorite cartoon which she affectionately calls Bubbub) lots of arguments (between Myturo and me - unsolved) lots of writing (working on it) lots of baby loving (never enough) lots of pregnancy stuff. You know, ultrasounds (technician didn't give me any pix. WTH?), gestational diabetes screenings (my results came back negative, so I don't have it), and of course other blood tests that show I'm anemic. Neat! So now I'm on what is supposed to be 2 iron supplements (ha, yeah right) but if I have too much constipation to just take 1, (haha, yeah right) I haven't even made it to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription, let alone attempted to take these fabulous poop blockers. I'm so not excited. I'm already super constipated, and I feel fine. I don't want to take iron supplements.
Buzzy's two bottom teeth came in. After three agonizingly long, sleepless, crying filled (both Buzzy's and mine) nights. Buzzy has been saying new words, none of the English or Spanish variety. Words like Dada, Dado, Dadu and a whispered Pa-pa for my grandpa who she loves I think more than her real daddy. She says boo, for boo, poo for pooh bear, uh huh for no and uh oh for uh oh. She has FINALLY started feeding herself, food among other remnants of paper and fun things she finds in the carpet. I thought I was safe from this, as she had never ever put anything in her mouth, including food, before. But as soon as she started popping the food in by herself, she started popping the little pieces of paper, the hair and anything else she could find with her baby laser vision in the carpet.
Her first birthday is coming up on June 9th. Excited about that one. But not excited about the one year well check that follows with four shots. Yuck! Mommy hates shots, I think, even more than Buzzy does. Its traumatic and she won't remember, but I always will.
The sun has finally emerged and the pools are open. Yay! Can't wait for the day when I have enough energy to take Buzzy down to the pool.
I've been writing like a fiend. Hence not writing on blogger like a fiend. My fiction is coming along just fabulously. My mom and family give me random spurts of breaks for concentrated writing time. I hope to be finished with the book in about 6-8 months, but if it takes a year or longer, as long as I finish it, that is my goal. I am not even so intent on publishing it, as I am on just finishing it. Something I have only done once before in my life when I was much younger and didn't write as, well, well as I do now. Not to say that I am some great eloquent writer but I am more experienced and more verbally adept than when I was 14.
Besides other little trivial life details this is what has been going on with me. I wish I had more time to be able to write my book and write on blogger and keep up with my RLF (real life friends) and my OtIF (On the Internet Friends) and all the forums I used to frequent and give Buzzy sufficient care and attention, but I am just not so capable. So, I have dropped some time on blogger and other forums. I apologize. I hope to return again, soon. Sooner than later. Hope everyone is well!

Friday, May 15, 2009

One Lovely Blog Award

It's been a while since I've posted. I have been working very hard at writing my new fantasy novel and it has all but enveloped every free moment of my life.

But as I was looking over my comments, one of my favorite bloggers, Septembermom at , awarded me the One Lovely Blog Award. I absolutely love reading her blog, chalk full of her real life stories, poetry and other fun. She is the sweetest woman!

So, I thought I would at least make the effort to post it, as she made the effort to give it to me. Thank you sweety!


So to keep in line with the rules of this award, I am supposed to nominate 15 blogs that I enjoy reading, although some of the writers and their families are going through some tough times right now and I doubt they'll be able to post the award. Please feel free to check them out. Here it goes.

Jana @

Brandi @

Annie @

Deb @

Unfortunately for the moment that is all I have time for. ((sigh)) Motherhood calls.

Monday, May 11, 2009

My First Mother's Day

Yesterday started out pretty uneventful. Buzzy and I woke up. Myturo had already left for work. I was mildly disappointed that he hadn't thought to buy me flowers or even a card but, then, that's a man for you. Buzzy and I ate breakfast and got dressed so that at 10:30am, when my family called me to let me know what we were doing, we'd be ready to leave.
At about 10:33am my grandma called to tell me that we weren't going to be going to walk on the river until 2:00pm which upset me more than it should have. (Darn pregnancy hormones) and I sat and glowered at the TV for the next couple of hours.

At noon, I called me grandma to ask if Buzzy and I should eat lunch prior to going to the river and she said yes. I asked why we were going so late and she told me because they were going to the Farmer's Market. What??? Without me??? She said they hadn't invited me because I'm pregnant and swollen and they didn't think I'd want to go. Gee, thanks for letting ME make that decision.

So Buzzy and I played a bit more, took a nap, went and had lunch and met my family at the river at 2:00. It was beautiful. (I have photos but my new computer setup makes it difficult to access them at the moment) The water was gray (normal for Washington), the sky was blue and slightly overcast, the weather warm (slightly muggy) but interrupted by a beautiful crisp breeze. We had smoothies at a fantastic little shop and walked some more. My cousin picked up shells for her collection and Buzzy oohed and ahhed and gooed and gahhed over all the doggies that passed.

*Courtney and I delved into some deep conversation on details for my new book that she will probably be co-authoring. But that is for another post, another time.

By the end of the walk a couple hours later my sciatic nerves were really acting up so we headed back into town for our 4:30 dinner/lunch at Sweet Tomatoes. YUMMM!! It was fantastically good but pregnant + hungry + buffet style goodness = one happy Mama!

We then drove back to my grandparent's house where I was allowed to rest while
everyone bathed Buzzy and cleaned out my junktrap car.
All in all it was a fabulous day!

To everyone who wished me a Happy Mother's Day in my comments. Thank you! Happy Mother's Day to you too. I apologize for not being able to comment individually. But know I was thinking about each and every one of you!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mothers Day!

Awesome Mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt..
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body...
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom ..

-Author Unknown

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Orange Juice Sucker

"I've Got You Just Where I Want You!"


Is It So Horrible?

**Disclaimer: What I am about to write I feel bad about. There are times, because of what I'm about to write, that I feel like the worst possible mother.

There are times since I have become a mom, that I think back to before I became a mom and regret not doing more. Traveling, working, doing things I love like photography, scrapbooking, writing my novels, my poetry. I wish sometimes, I had spent more time alone with my husband. I wish I had slept, A LOT, more.

Now as I sit here, almost 7 months pregnant with Little Nameless, sweating (not because it's hot but just because my overactive sweat glands are reacting to all these pregnancy hormones) tired (because Buzzy no longer sleeps peacefully through the night, not to mention my frequent urination, horrid acid reflux and bodily aches) I can't help but think how much I miss things of not-being-a-mommy. Taking a shower whenever I want without making sure someone or something is entertaining my baby so she doesn't cry. Leaving the house with no more than my keys and my wallet. Eating a bunch of junk without feeling guilty for not giving baby some. Jumping spontaneously in the car and going somewhere (ANYWHERE) just because I want to.

Today, my Myturo asked me (during a small argument) if I'd like to work. I rolled my eyes and said no, as I am used to doing when he gets obnoxious. But the more I thought about it, work doesn't sound so bad. A few hours of me time. A few hours of NOT changing diapers. Of NOT making bottles. Of NOT listening to a whiny 11 month old. Of NOT having to entertain anyone.

(((sigh))) And then my poor Little Nameless. Truthfully, there are times I wish I wasn't pregnant. I wish I had been more careful with birth control. I wish I had been more responsible.

Which by the way breaks my own heart as I type it. I love my new little baby girl. I really do. I want her and there is nothing in the world that would make me give her up or change my mind about being a mommy a 2nd time. I'm just soooo tired.

What makes me feel the worst about feeling this way is that my little girl is so well behaved. She entertains herself when Mommy gets absorbed in the computer, she doesn't throw random temper tantrums, she is just an abnormally good girl. And here I sit, complaining.

Maybe it's because for 11 months I have only had several very short lived outings on my own (an hour or two or three) tops. Maybe it's because I'm still immature and selfish and I need to just grow the heck up. Maybe it's because motherhood wasn't all the roses and flowers and beautiful things I imagined once upon a time. Maybe, it's because I'm pregnant and once Little Nameless is born my feelings will change and everything will be okay, and good and right in the world again. I pray for the latter.

Now that I think about it, I realize that my emotions could be because I am alone so often. When I was pregnant with Buzzy I was always with family. We'd go to the mall, go shopping, go here and there and everywhere and I didn't feel alone. Now, even though Myturo is home, I feel alone. Most of my family works and Myturo, even though this is my second (third really) pregnancy, still does not know how to sympathize, listen or console me. If I am in a bad or sad or mad or just plain emotional mood, he becomes very defensive as though I am accusing him of it being his fault. I'm not. Although now-a-days I playfully tell him it is, to try to lighten the mood. It doesn't lighten the mood. It usually makes things worse.


And now that I have unloaded that whole mess, I am feeling a bit better.
Not so regretful.
Not so remorseful.
Not so glum.
Not so Eeyore-ish.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Torn i/on the Birth Center

Last night as I went to use the restroom, I felt like I might be leaking fluid. If you've ever been pregnant, you know the sensation I'm talking about. That sensation of involuntarily peeing. In any case, I live directly across the street from one of the main hospitals and after confirming with a Labor & Delivery nurse that I should, I went in to make sure all was negative and well.
The purpose of my visit proved to be unecessary because my vaginal swab tested negative for amniotic fluid. (Funny, my cultures also tested negative when my waters had indeed broken with Buzzy, but that's another rant for another post at another time).
In any case, while the purpose of my visit proved needless it did provoke more aprehension in me. My current birth plan is as follows:

If I go into spontaneous labor before 39-40 weeks we will attempt a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) at the birth center where Buzzy was born, 13+ miles away, where hopefully my OB will be on-call and or working to attend the birth. She only regularly works out of this hospital, unfortunately for me and my family.

Should I go past 39 weeks my OB will check to see if my cervix is 'favorable' (effasing and/or dilating also known as thinning out and opening). If I am favorable she will induce me. If I am not I will push towards 40 weeks where she will check again to see if I am favorable. If so, induction will follow. If not a scheduled c-section will happen very near 40 weeks. Regardless of induction or section, either of these procedures will be performed at the hospital across the street because they will be scheduled and my OB will be able to put it on her calendar to be there or be square.

I am super nervous. I only trust MY OB. No one else. It was only a work of God that she was on call to save me Buzzy from something I don't even want to imagine. I really really want to deliver at the hospital across the street. The nurses are phenomenal. Its a five minute walk from my home which would be convenient for Myturo and whoever else is caring for Buzzy to bring her to visit me and her sister. But the chances of my OB being there without the birth being scheduled are nill to none. And my chances of making it to a scheduled date are also nill to none, what with the fact that I went into spontaneous labor two weeks early with Buzzy and I have a pre-term labor risk sitting on top of that because of the closeness in pregnancies.

I really DO NOT want to deliver at the other hospital. It's too far. The nurses aren't nice. Their equipment is antiquated and my experience from Buzzy's birth left me traumatized.

I'm scared. I suppose I need to leave it in God's hands. Please keep this next birth in your prayers! Thank you!

Train of Thought Tuesday


*Please feel free to steal my button on the left side of this blog (please link it back to me if you don't use the html code) and do your own Train of Thought Tuesdays

*My sporadic and random thoughts for one solid minute.

Twilight is driving me nuts.
I'm addicted.
I can't get enough.
Takes me back to the high school days.
I love the new photos MckMama put up of her MSC.
I hope Buzzy stays asleep.
Is Myturo snoring?
That airplane sure is loud.
Better not wake up Buzzy.
Or my typing. EEK!
The apartment is a mess.
I need to open the blinds.
I think I've written that before in one of these posts.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Videos of Myturo & Buzzy Dancing

Please excuse the darkness of the house. It is evening and we are trying to conserve if even a little light. (Actually, we just don't have that many lights in our frontroom - so it appears very dark) I hope you are able to see at least a little.

Daddy Asking Buzzy if She Wants to Dance

Dancing & Singing Together

Little Nameless Contest


I decided to do a contest for my readers. I am offering a $20 gift card to those who can guess the closest month/day/time of Little Nameless' birth. You can click on the link above or the link to the left in my side panel. It should take you directly to the contest site.

International Entries Welcome as long as your local vendors except VISA/MASTERCARD or AMERICAN EXPRESS.

Remember! Little Nameless's gestational due date is August 11th, 2009.
Also remember! I went into labor spontaneously with Buzzy at 37 week 6 days and she was born at exactly 38 weeks.
(2 weeks early)

There are only 100 entry spaces available so if you want to participate, get your entry in ASAP!
The winner will be announced on my blog at my earliest convenience after Little Nameless' birth.
(You all understand)

Sunday, May 3, 2009


It has begun. The transformation. I suppose I should be grateful that I lasted this long. I'm pretty sure with Buzzy it started closer to 20 weeks. Well tomorrow I will be heading into my 27th week, so that is 6 more weeks I felt normal. Was normal. Acted normal (you know, as opposed to an invalid)

The swelling, as I stated in a previous post, started a couple nights ago. Now whenever I eat anything with a hint of sodium in it, my ankles and fingers swell to the point of discomfort. It's not pretty to have fingers that look like bratwurst and ankles when flexed that look like I have fat sleeves. So not cool.

In fact, on that note, I'm rather hot. Hot flashes have been plaguing me for a week or so now. As long as I am stationary and sitting I am fine, but God forbid you ask me to get up to make Buzzy a bottle or I need to use the restroom, or ((gasp)) I want to take a leisurely stroll gimp around the neighborhood, the waterworks start. And, no, I don't mean tears. I mean sweat. Buckets of sweat. That pour mainly from my face. I could probably rehydrate a draughted desert with all my sweat from those darn hot flashes.

And lastly, I can't stand quickly from a sitting position, and definitely can't get up from the floor without shooting sciatic pain. I can't sleep lying down because my newly heavy baby is pressing my spinal column. I can't sleep sitting up because, well, its just not comfy. I can no longer quickly roll from facing oppposite Buzzy to facing her if she needs me which makes mommy frustrated and prolongs Buzzys discontentment, frustrating mommy even more.

So the Materna-Morphises begins. Leaky nipples, achey back, painful sciatic, THE WADDLE, no energy all rolled up into MY body. Oh the joys of pregnancy. Come on Little Nameless, lets get cookin' and leave the kitchen, cuz mommy is sooo done!


The Park




The Orange


The Bath









Announcing A New Arrival!


With her express permission I would like to announce that yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning, (1:58am to be exact) Baby Cash was born to my good friend Lerin and her husband Tommy! Weighing 7lbs and measuring 19.3 inches he is perfect!
Early on in Lerin's pregnancy Cash was diagnosed with a herniated diaphram and will likely need surgery soon. He is stable and thriving but still in a fragile state and will spend a yet unknown amount of time in the hospital. Prayers for this beautiful baby, his mommy and his daddy are greatly appreciated!
And thanks are to be given to God for allowing yet another of his beautiful angels to join us on earth and that he arrived via a quick, easy (natural with epidural) labor of love on his mommy's part. God is good and Cash is beautiful!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Oh For Pete's Sake

For anyone who has ever lived in an apartment community you know first hand that it has its benefits and its downside. So far we have lived in our current apartment approximately 4 months. It is a large 2 bedroom, 2 full bath with a great room, and a very spacious kitchen, pantry and laundry room. We are in the middle of the complex where there isn't a lot of outside noise pollution, we live directly across the street from the Taj Mahal hospital which gives me great peace of mind in the event of an emergency. There are many many benefits to apartment living . . .


There is one significant downside. Neighbors. Upstairs neighbors to be precise. I don't know if people just assume that because there is a floor and four walls surrounding them that they are somehow in a soundproofed area as soon as they close their door. Maybe they don't realize how much noise they really make, or they do realize it and just don't care. That would really chap my hide. And that is an understatement.

My current upstairs neighbor is a single guy. How do I know? Once upon a time he told me. This was after he introduced himself and told me if he ever made too much noise to just let him know. Just let him know. How do you just let someone know that ever step they take rattles your ceiling. Every door slam, threatens your wall hangings. How do you just let someone know that their shower singing does not double as lullaby music for your 11 month old? How do you just let someone know that the fact that they use the restroom 20 times a night really disturbs my sleep? (I mean, cuz how hypocritical coming from a pregnant woman who uses it just as much)

I'll tell you how I just let someone know. I don't. I just suck it up and seethe with every stomp, every slam, every shower and every flush. Trickle trickle.

In other news:
My feet are swollen! Starting yesterday. Waah! No! Not again. ((whimper whimper)) I just got rid of pregnancy swollen feet a few months back. Soon the pitting edema will follow. Boohoo!


Wellsphere. Health knowledge made personal.
My friend Megs joined because she was invited due to the content of her blog. (I suggest you visit. It can be very insightful, heart warming, heart wrenching and informative)

Anyway, I figured, although I do not write exclusively on health, there are definitely topics surrounding my life and my blog posts that are included well within Wellsphere's target subjects, such as; Obesity & Weight Loss. I have been overweight my whole life with the scale numbers fluctuating greatly as I tried diet after diet, gimmick after gimmick. Pregnancy (yes I have been pregnant 3 times in 2 years, so I consider myself pretty well versed) Of those three pregnancies, one was a Miscarriage. That was a very rough time in my life, especially after trying to become pregnant for a year, only to succeed and have it ripped away from me. Although I am new to Parenting, a lot of people are, and I think being the mom of an angel in Heaven, a one year old and a newborn (in a few months) gives me a perspective on life, parenting and stress that not many people get the opportunity to share. In addition to these main events in my life I will probably also touch on my Migraines, GERD (Gastro Esophogial Reflux Disorder), Bronchial Asthma, and how I Don't Wash My Face to Avoid acne.

So I decided to join. I then decided to submit my blog to see if I could be a Wellsphere Blogger as well. So far I have not received a confirmation or denial, but I will keep you all posted as to whether I am accepted or not.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Buzzy, Baby Saint

Everywhere I go, strangers, friends and family alike all tell me the same thing. Your daughter is so good, so quiet, so outgoing, so sweet, so beautiful, so well behaved, such a pleasure etc etc, the list goes on and on. I don't EVER get tired of hearing these things, even though I know some of them are just not true. Buzzy is not always good, always quiet, always sweet (okay, most of the time), always well behaved (notice how I skipped over beautiful *wink*) and she certainly is not always a pleasure. She can be just as big a fusspot as your next 11 month old baby. But in public all people see are the sugar and spice and everything nice. That's what everyone believes Buzzy's made of.

My question is, then, why does no one offer to babysit? If my angel is SUCH an angel, why?? Is everyone lying to me, or do they think she is such a baby-saint that I don't need a rest now and again?



I'm almost 7 months pregnant with a very bad sciatic nerve, bad acid reflux, I've started swelling (as of tonight) and I don't get nearly enough sleep. I need just a small rest every now and then. Nothing long term or all day, just a catnap here and there or a shower where I don't have to listen to Buzzy scream cuz I am behind the non-transparent shower curtain. Is that too much to ask?

Is it?

Bankruptcy, Side Jobs & A New Chair

Given the status of our current economy (I hate paragraphs that start like that - means the whole article's gonna be boring - hopefully this one won't be too boring) Myturo and I have decided to file bankruptcy. Our outstanding credit card debt is phenomenal and his hours, while higher this week, are consistently getting lower and lower. Our bank account, our checkbook and our bills are suffering. So as soon as Little Nameless is born (potentially sooner) we will be filing. It is bittersweet but it will be a financial relief, if not only partially considering one of our loans is a personal one that bankruptcy can't won't cover.

Ok so, I lied.
That proved to be yet another boring paragraph starting with "given the status of our current economy . . ." - Sorry

On that note however, I have decided to TRY (try, because God knows it isn't easy) to do some sort of photography/scrapbooking home business. With Summer on the horizon, there are tons of local city and state fairs where I could exhibit my work and potentially get customers. I need to make no more (although more would be nice) and no less (because less wouldn't serve my purpose) than $700.00/month. I figure this means making anywhere between 3-7 scrapbooks a month, depending on the intricacy, detail and quantity of pages in the books. I can do that! Now I just need people who want me! LOL

And completely off topic, I am in the market for a chair. Not just any old chair either. An arm chair glider/or rocker that is big and soft and overstuffed. Something I could sleep in now and nurse / relax in after Little Nameless is born. Any suggestions on brands, stores, prices?? I can no longer sleep horizontally due to bad sciatica so a good comfy chair is called for.

On one more tangent. I need a haircut. Sympathize for me please, because I don't foresee being able to get one in the next decade. ((sigh))
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