Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Of Course . . .

Of course as soon as I was to verbalize Buzzy's fabulous new sleeping habits, there would come a night like tonight where we just can't sleep. For those that don't know, she sleeps in bed with me. Me, and me only because Daddy took to sleeping in another room almost 8 months ago when I decided it was time for me to rejoin the land of the horizontal after her birth. (I had spent the last 4 months of my pregnancy sitting upright in a recliner to diminish my acid reflux) In any case, a month or so ago I removed the moveable bedrail off of her crib, smashed my mattress up against it and thus found a way to cosleep without 'sharing' my bed. This worked fabulously until I could no longer roll over or scooch fast enough across the wide expanse of bed to get to the bathroom in time. Thus, she migrated back into my bed where I could easily access her and all of her needs as well as quickly just roll my pregnant self off the side of the bed to use the bathroom. Well, anyone who cosleeps knows, that a baby takes up more room then an adult in bed. They have no concept of space, therefore sprawling their arms, kicking their little feet, rolling and adjusting to random awkward positions at their heart's content.
So now, after only a brief moment of quiet cries Buzzy is asleep on my shoulder in the very same position she was asleep in as I blogged last night. My eyes are still heavy, I still need to pee (again, I have not been holding it) but I took my Tums so one down isn't bad, huh? I am going to try to lie her down and catch a few more hours of shut eye. Wish me luck!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Exhausted Pity Party

We are breaking ground! Buzzy no longer requires more than a bit of a bottle to go to sleep, she sleeps (for the most part) through the night and when it comes to driving in the car she no longer wails and sobs. I think she finally realizes, whether she likes it or not, the car is a part of our family and a part of our lives.
On the opposite note, my poor little girl has been having serious gas issues lately, making it difficult for her and for Mama. There are times when she is in so much pain she shrieks uncontrollably. She pushes away from me, arches her back and shoves off with her feet. (and let me tell you; when your nearly 6 months pregnant, having a very strong little girl shove her heel and/or toes into your belly is not at all pleasant!)
Tonight, baby girl fell asleep in the car on the way home. She woke up when we arrived and was fine until I put her down so I could use the restroom. You'd have thought I sat her on steel spikes. And thus, one of her episodes began. It took me nearly an hour to calm her enough to change her diaper and get her to relax to drink some milk. But in that hour, my mind was on Fry Mode.
It is very difficult to be pregnant with an . . . infaddler . . . ? (mix between infant and toddler? Not quite sure where she falls) In any case the demands are very real and there is no peace or quiet time. She needs what she needs and she needs it NOW. My nausea, heartburn, intestinal issues, headaches, cramps, backaches and any other mality I may be feeling is set on the back burner. And let me tell you for anyone who doesn't know, it's hard to put those things on the back burner!
Like now for instance, I have to pee, I need a Tums, and my eyelids are so heavy I may as well have them closed but I can't go pee, I can't go get the Tums and I can't go get in bed because Buzzy just fell asleep and knowing her as well as I do, I KNOW if I attempt to move she'll wake up and I DO NOT want another episode like before.
So here I sit . . . throwing an exhausted one person pity party.
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In other news:
- I got my tax refund! With that money I bought a used SLR camera off a friend and I will be posting the pictures I take here as soon as I get it.

- I joined twitter, Check it out here or you can also follow my tweets on the right hand side of this blog!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Conglomerate

Conejos, Guns, OOH La La
I wasn't quite sure what to write until I glanced up at the TV and saw Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson hosting the Kids Choice Awards. Wow, is the only word that comes to mind when confronted with his biceps! Wow!
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Moving on . . .
Today is Courtney's REAL birthday among others! So,


Courtney
Jenna
Danae's Mom
And the newest arrival on this date:
PIP!!
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So, I am greatly anticipating my tax refund. I sent in mine about a week after a couple people I know. They have long since received their refund and I am still sitting here twittling my thumbs and waiting. I don't like waiting. I am a very impatient person. And there is so much I need / want to do with that money! Today is Sunday. No mail comes today, but I didn't get yesterdays mail so maybe it's in there? A girl can hope.
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I need a Tums . . . Blasted Tums!
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I don't like reading that Stellan is not doing well. It hurts my heart and tears me in half. I cannot imagine what MckMamma is going through right now. Please keep baby Stellan in your prayers. Pray God rocks him and that regardless of the trials is little body is now going through that he feels peace and God's grace all around him.
Ok I have to stop now. I can't see through my tears.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Birthday Finale + Random

The birthday went well. It was pretty uneventful as my sister refused singing, there was no cake to speak of and getting photos was like pulling teeth. Probably ideal for her but completely dudd-ish if you ask me. The one good aspect of the evening, (in my opinion) was Josh. I want my sister to marry this boy. He has personality plus, a great sense of humor, he's a literal genius and he can solve a rubix cube without looking in under two minutes! That's my kinda guy!

Courtney
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Courtney & Josh
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After dinner and dessert we went back to my mom's place and played a rip roaring game of Pictionary! LOL It was actually quite amusing and my grandparent's watched Buzzy for me.

Great Papa & My Buzzy
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I'm exhausted. I am soo tired of being pregnant. In 2 years I have only had a total reprieve of 6 months from being pregnant. One month after the miscarriage and 5 months between buzzy and the little Nameless. I'm tired of the acid reflux. Tired of the sensitive smells and tastes. Tired of the nausea, the wacky hair, the swollen feet, the achey leaky boobs, the fatigue. I'm tired of the extra weight, the backaches, the vaginal farts, the sciatica, the necessary pantyliners. I'm just tired of it all. I cannot wait to give birth and regain control of my body. I'll take 5 depo shots if its necessary to keep me from getting pregnant again. I just want to be me for a while, again. Not me + Baby Belly.
Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade all that either. I love Buzzy, love my little Nameless who, (as the name implies)has yet to be named and wouldn't give either up for anything. I'm just tired.
Oh, and if I never have to see/taste another Tums in my life it will be too soon.

Birthday Among Us

So today at about 4:30 we are celebrating my sister's 16th birthday. 16! I remember when she was 4-10 and I wondered if I'd ever not dislike her or if I'd ever stop resenting her. I remember wondering if she'd ever become human and then a couple years ago POOF! She became my best friend. I don't know what happened, whether it was within her or within me or both, but out of nowhere our hate hate relationship had become a tight sisterly bond. And today (well her actual birthday is tomorrow) we are celebrating one of thee most special b-days a girl could have. I am so proud of her and the young woman she has become!
So everyone is preparing. Family are gathering decorations, gifts etc (I'm blogging but will be getting ready as soon as Buzzy wakes from her nap) My sister insisted her father (my step dad) remove the pubic hair from his chin (otherwise known as a goatee) because her friends will be there and its bad enough he's already big and bald and scary (he's everything but, but appearances decieve) she didn't want her friends to see him with pubes growing out of his face. So he's off to the barber to fix that problem.
She requested no balloons, and no singing. (the girl is shy!) but we're gonna have a great time anyway and whether she likes it or not her sis and her sis' ol' faithful camera will be there to record the mayhem!
So, I am still waiting for my IRS refund, It wouldn't be such a big deal except for the fact that also for my sister's 16th bday we (mom, sis, Buzzy, and I) are planning on taking a road trip to Seattle for the Japanese Festival. (Sis is totally into EVERYTHING Japanese) And I need to help my mom with the cost of the hotel, gas, etc. Then again sis also may opt out of the Seattle trip and spring for a Wii instead. So, I suppose I need just a bit more patience.

So, I wait . . . I wonder if my little Buzzy will let me take a shower today . . . :)

Friday, March 27, 2009

First Time Being Tagged

I've been tagged!

Meghan tagged me to write 7 things about myself, so here goes:

Here are the RULES...

1. Link to the person who tagged you. Did it!!
2. Share 7 things that people may not know about you. Hard!! I'm an open book!
3. Tag 7 people to share 7 things and link to them. Do I even know 7?
4. Let them know they have been tagged. Done.

1~ Well, we are monstrously in debt and truthfully, I don't care. I enjoy my life and we as a family love each other and that is all that is important to me.

2~ I spend way too much time on the internet. It is a truthful addiction. Like crack for my eyes. Myspace, Facebook, Blogger, Debate forums, online poker. I need internet users anonymous!

3~ I can twist all of my fingers simultaneously on both hands to overlap eachother. Sometime, I'll have my hubby take a pic. Its pretty weird.

4~ I am part OCD and part lazy bum. I can never leave a job (like cleaning or cooking) half done. Its all or nothing which means its usually nothing.

5~ I can turn my feet backwards so my toes face behind me simultaneously and I can curl my tongue into the shape of a 3 leaf clover.

6~ I am allergic to cinnamon gum. About the only thing in the world I am allergic to but if I do chew it, I get abcest ulcers on my tongue that last weeks. They feel like a charlie horse in your tongue and progress to feel like a million open bleeding wounds. At its worst it looks like someone has taken a knife and done abstract art on my tongue. EEW!

7~ I so dream of one day writing a book. A fictional novel where my imagination can soar. So far I have beginnings and endings with no body. How sad.

Ok, so I tag...

Annie @ http://www.theartofbecomingafamily.blogspot.com/
Missy @ http://www.rodriguezpartyof4.blogspot.com/
Marcelle @ http://www.makingbabies-sa.blogspot.com/
http://tonicallyinluv.blogspot.com/

Well, I only have 4. LOL

Fear

I have this theory and I have had it basically my whole life. I learned at an early age that the things we fear the most usually happen when we least expect them to and generally come as a huge life altering shock. And thus my theory was born:

If I think it will happen, before it happens it will most likely not happen.

Along with this theory is the unspoken clause that states that in the event that I imagine it will happen and it still happens, I have already thought of it and therefore I am more prepared and it has less of a shock.

Silly?
Unrealistic?
Idealistic?

Maybe.

But I have found myself relying on this theory for much of my life lately, instead of leaving it in God's ever capable hands as I should. Instead I imagine people I love, getting sick, suffering, dying, getting hurt, and many other horrible things I wish I wouldn't think of all in the name of my darn theory.

I keep trying not to think that way. I pray and try desperately to leave it to God, but like a hot frying pan handle, once you've grabbed it and your skin has burnt to it, it is nearly impossible to let go of, no matter how necessary letting go might be.

On another note:
CONGRATULATIONS A & J!! YOU FINALLY DID IT!!

And that for now, is all I've got.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

This Fine Day

As I sit here on the sofa, with my husband resting on the floor, and my miracle of a daughter (because regardless, all children are miracles) cooing at her little book and the television remote control, I find myself amazed at life, life in all aspects. How it begins, sadly how it ends, and where it takes us all on so many paths and yet we meet each other on those paths as they intersect and we are affected by those people on those different paths.
I have so much on my mind right now. Not much relevant or significant and yet it all is. First, I am astounded by the strength of a woman (MckMamma)and her faith in God at a time in her life where so many others in her position would simply break. I am astounded by her ability to reach out and touch people with her words while something so amazingly life altering is occurring in her own life. I don't think I could do it. If it were my child. I hate to say it, but I think I would be selfish. I think I would recede into myself and wallow in self pity and 'why me?' 'why my child?' But she doesn't. She is strong. She is a true soldier of God. She knows He has a plan and that she will praise Him regardless of the outcome, because we don't always get the answer we want when we pray to God, just the peace to know He's listening.
On another note, I am desperately nervous and excited for my friend Annie who will be receiving her results of her first IVF treatment on Friday. She too is strong. To have endured all she has endured in the name of having a child. Again, there are so many people in her position who would have simply broke from the stress, the heartache and the disappointment. But not her. No she is a pillar among all the waves that have crashed around her and I am praying that soon, very soon her trials will end and her perseverance will pay off.
On my side of the world, it is confirmed that our second little bundle will be a girl. She is measuring perfectly, at 13oz and looks very similar to Buzzy at this point in my pregnancy. I am eccstatic to have a little sister for my Buzzabouey! I can reuse all of her things and hopefully they will be very close and enjoy the same things. A mommy can only hope and pray. I hope to post pictures of my little kickboxer soon.
Until then . . . God Bless

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Buzzy in a Bucket

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She's On the Move

It is official. Buzzy is crawling! My little princess who seemingly was born just yesterday, has finally moved forward. Before today she had only succeeded in futile attempts to move forward and would eventually either fall to her belly or side from the great effort. But tonight, we were playing ball on the floor and it got away from both of us. I told her to 'go get her ball.', and what do you know. As though she knew exactly what I was saying she turned in one swift movement from her rump to her knees and (although wobbly) made her way across the living room to retrieve her ball. Upon reaching it, she collapsed onto her belly, rolled to her back and raised the ball in the air as if exclaiming, VICTORY!

Once Upon a Baby

Tomorrow is my 20 week growth scan. Tomorrow is the day we confirm if our new arrival has changed into Nicholas or if it's still a girl. Notice I did not call her Sofia. That is because my husband, one night, decided to let all hell break lose against me and that name, so if our baby is a girl, her name will not be Sofia. At this moment I have him mulling over the name Emily. ((sigh)) I'll miss the name Sofia, Sofi, Soapy. There is so much associated with that name now it's hard for me to call baby #2 anything else.
Unfortunately nothing seems to be going my way lately. Baby #2 is a spaz. S/he never stops moving! Buzzy has been Baby Super Crank, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I'm tired, feel sick, hungry, and all alone because my husband is working. I wish I could just call him and tell him to come home. I could really use his help. But he's home tomorrow for the scan and hopefully he'll help me then.
I'm praying when I check the mail today our IRS refund will be there. We are in desperate need of the money. But with my luck it won't arrive until next month. Like I said, not much going my way these days.
Anyway, tomorrow I hope to get photos and will update then.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Calling Myself Out . . .

Yes, I am calling myself out. I have neglected to follow my own goal of updating this blog regularly and that is why. I don't know why I forget to do it. I sit in front of my computer so often just wondering what to do and refreshing browsers over and over expecting new things to up and entertain me. My readers may wonder how I can be bored with a 9 month old. Well, my husband has lost a lot of hours at work and therefore is home more often. Buzzy loves to be with him so when she is, I am here. On the computer.
Buzzy turned 9 months the day before yesterday. I cannot believe how the time has passed. She is trying so hard to crawl and she babbles up a storm although, for the life of me, I cannot get her to mutter anything even close to Mama. Dada is a regular vocabulary word for her though. She weaned herself off of baby food one day a month or so back and now only eats big girl foods. Mind you she has not even a hint of a tooth, so she gums everything to death. She gives big wet kisses, claps and waves. She dances as she sits with her arms straight out in front of her bouncing up and down. I love her to death.
I am now 18.5 weeks pregnant with who we believe is Sofia Jane. She may however surprise us and morph into Nicholas Alan Miguel but we confirm on March 25th. This lil booger is kickin mommy's butt from the inside out. Morning sickness has still not ebbed and I throw up once a day at least. I get nauseous and light headed if I stand for too long and on more than one occasion (including one when I was driving - scary) I have gotten insane dizzy spells. The big HUGE difference between this pregnancy and Buzzy's though, is my weight gain. By 18 weeks I believe I had gained close to 30 lbs with Buzzy and with this one, I have only gained between 12-15. Yay!
I am over the moon for a couple of my friends who are going through preliminary infertility treatment and IVF. I am hoping they both get their positive pregnancy tests within the next couple weeks!!
And on that note, I believe I have covered my bases. So goodnight to all of you out there in blog world! I shall try to return soon.

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