Friday, July 31, 2009

Men

This morning started out like any other morning (this far along in my pregnancy, anyway). I wake to Buzzy who is wide eyed and bushy tailed blabbering all the words she knows: Mama, Dad, Dada, Bob, Momo, Izzy, Papa, Baba, Mo (more), No, Voom (Vacuum), etc and turn over with the usual slosh of my bladder. I call Myturo on my cell phone (even though he's just in the next room) and ask him to come in and lay with her while I pee. He comes in swaddled in his blanket because as skinny as he is, he gets cold even when its 100+ degrees outside. I guess I do have to give him credit. I leave the air conditioning on and he doesn't complain. (He also doesn't know how to turn it off, so that's a plus) In any case, I go to the bathroom, he lies down with Buzzy. Everything is hunky dory. I then take Buzzy into the dining room for breakfast and he remains in bed sleeping. Fine. No biggie. It won't hurt me once to lift her into her high chair. (I'm not supposed to lift her until after LN's birth, but hey, let the guy sleep right? He works hard)

So I feed her cereal and we watch a little TV and out of nowhere he bursts into the dining room and asks me where his t-shirts are. I say, I don't know, because I don't. He tells me they were laying on the chair in our bedroom and what did I do with them. I'm starting to get a bit irritated (pregnancy hormones raging, ya know) and tell him I don't know where they are. He marches into the laundry room and says, 'you better not have washed them, they were already clean.' To which I respond that I haven't washed anything in weeks. (My gramma has been doing it as I can't bend over the washing machine to get the wet clothes out with my big ol gut in the way) He sneers and yells at me that she indeed did wash them and now they are soaking wet. He then instructs me that I am to tell my gramma to leave his clean clothes alone. I respond with, I will do no such thing, as his t-shirts were strewn on the floor (not on the chair as he thought) and neither of us knew if they were clean or dirty.

***Tangent***
Not to mention when I lived in Mexico his mother did about the same thing to me and when I asked him to tell her to leave my stuff alone, he in exactly as many words told me to shut my mouth and not say a word to her. "That she was only trying to help".
***End Tangent***

So from there comes this entire tirade about how lazy I am and how I don't do anything anymore. UH HELLO! 9+ months pregnant on limited activity. No shit, I'm not doing anything Sherlock! UGH! He tells me I'm good for nothing and what do I expect of him? Do I expect him to make his own food, wash his own clothes, help take care of Buzzy AND work? I say yes, yes I do. And he tells me I'm crazy. He scoops the money I am supposed to deposit to pay bills off the sink, waves it in my face and tells me not to think for one moment he is going to continue supporting a lazy good for nothing woman. I tell him, good, don't and don't come home tonight either, then. He tells me, 'as if there's anything to come home to anyway.' I tell him he complains a lot and that there are American men out there (I know a small handful) who do all of that stuff and more for their wives when they're pregnant and don't complain half as much. He tells me I'm not married to an American to which I respond that he isn't married to a Mexican and I am not a work horse, and I refuse to become one. And that is where it got ugly.

He then turns to my 1 year old daughter, completely ignoring me, and says
"You're mom is a ______ and a _______ and a lazy ______ and a ______, isn't she?"

Yes, all those blanks are Spanish profanity that I refuse to write in my blog. Of course Buzzy has no idea what he's saying, but I do and with that I grab my keys, scoop Buzzy off the floor and leave. She doesn't need to be around that. She doesn't need to hear that. And he should be an adult and know that it is severely inappropriate to say those things in front of a baby/child, let alone directly to them.

So now he is at work. I am glad he is gone. He works double shifts today, tomorrow and Sunday. I am tempted to tell him not to come to the hospital on Monday for LN's birth, but maybe its just the hormones and they will pass. We'll see. He always chooses life's most important events to turn into a raving lunatic. Our babies' births, Christmas, birthdays. UGH! That's what I get for marrying a Mexican who of all things is a Mama's boy and the baby of 13. Yep, that's what I get.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Small Update

Today was my last OB appointment. A little bit bitter-sweet. I saw Dr. L (My doctor's partner) and I liked her just as much as I do Dr. M. She let me give her the rundown on my history of pregnancies, miscarriages, and births, talked to me briefly about VBACs and c-sections, listened for LN's heartbeat and then checked me.
Unfortunately I am still only 1cm and 50% effaced but she offered a membrane sweep which I am told has a 50/50% chance of putting you into labor within 24-48 hours. Sounds good to me. It was at least worth a try. If no labor begins I have a pre-anesthetic appointment with the hospital on Sunday where they will draw blood, cuff me put a hospital bracelet on me and give me the run down for my section that will occur the next day.

So that's it in a nutshell. I am super crampy now, after that sweep and keep praying that the crampiness turns into something more severe. I suppose only time will tell.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Prayers for Stellan

I cannot even imagine what Mckmamma over at www.mycharmingkids.com is feeling having to, yet again, go to Boston to try to keep her son well. I look at my little angel, Buzzy, and I cannot thank God enough for allowing her to be healthy. I, a much weaker person than I imagine Mckmamma to be, don't think I would be able to handle the stress and the emotional pain of watching my child endure what Stellan has endured with as much grace and reverence to God.
That being said, I would like to pull all my readers and their friends who do pray into a prayer circle.

Lord, I know that we are ultimately yours and that our babies are temporary gifts from you to us on this earth. I know you have a master plan that is much bigger and much more grandiose than any of us could possibly begin to fathom. I know that you knew Stellan before he was in his mommy's womb, as he grew and developed the arrhythmia that he suffers from, and as he was born alive and thriving, proving our human doctors wrong. With you all is possible. You know what is yet to come and why. I lift Jennifer (Mckmamma) her husband and her three other children up to you in this time of despair and uncertainty. Comfort her in her pain, that only a mother can feel at the sight of a sick or hurting child. Let her feel your presence, cradle her in your arms and let her know that you are doing the same for her baby. Assure her that your hand on his sick little body is more comfort, and has more healing power than any doctor could possibly offer. And ultimately, Lord, let your will be done and give her peace that this is so because you love her, you love Stellan and you do have a plan for us all.
Amen

Saturday, July 25, 2009

A Dessert Analogy

Ok, so you guessed it. I was unable to keep my goal of saving my 100th post for the birth of my daughter. Oh well. Such is life. I did think of a topic though, as I was sitting (and remain sitting) waiting for labor to begin. An analogy popped into my head, that I thought I would share with you. After posting my 'opinionated post' the other day I received a couple comments and several e-mails thanking me for saying what 'everyone was thinking'. So, I thought I might elaborate . . . with an analogy.

You see, today my sister was eating pie and randomly, my analogy was born. Here it goes:

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This is a traditional piece of cheesecake. (Yes I know I said she was eating pie but cheesecake fit the bill much better.) In any case, most people have tried cheesecake and many like it. It has most of the characteristics people look for in a dessert. A good solid foundation that won't fall apart before it gets to your mouth, sweet, rich, dense, filling and satisfying. Many people don't like cheesecake, (such as myself) but even not liking it, one must admit it is a classic dessert, liked by the majority (not the minority)regardless of it's plain exterior.

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This is a piece of chocolate silk pie. Another popular dessert, less commonly ordered and less commonly liked. While a much more appealing sight to behold, unlike the cheesecake it's foundation (made of crumbled oreos) is much less solid, crumbling and flaking on it's way to your mouth. The filling is not dense but incredibly light, airy, extremely sweet, and not generally filling while very possibly satisfying for a person with 'lighter tastes'. Many people do like chocolate silk pie. Many people do not. But in order to like it, you would not only need to want for the characteristics above, but you would need to like chocolate as well.

Obama is like the chocolate silk pie. He is very possibly more appealing on the exterior than your average republican/democratic candidate. Very possibly satisfying to some, who agree with him and his policies but his foundation is weak, flakey and dark. His filling is airy, empty and you have to like the ingredients to be able to enjoy him and his 'tendencies' when he speaks or acts. He comes off extremely sweet but leaves you generally unfulfilled. The rest of our presidents (Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Nixon etc) no matter how poor or good a president they were, were all Cheesecake presidents with good solid foundations, and dense satisfying fillings.

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This is a glass of chocolate milk. I love chocolate milk. Smooth and rich and creamy. I am drinking a glass now in fact. But I only love it as my dessert with my Cheescake. (remember, I don't like cheesecake) Not in my white house as my president.
(Because in my opinion, Obama is worse than chocolate silk pie. He is just a tall glass of chocolate milk, no nutrients to speak of, too much sugar and pointless to drink except for the taste, who is gonna flush our fabulous country down the toilet.)

Says I

Friday, July 24, 2009

Jambalaya of Thoughts

Today was my mom's gallbladder surgery. Our prayers were answered and she was able to have it done laproscopically (sp?) So, she is at home now, doing remarkably well regardless of the fact that she appears about as pregnant as me with her poor belly all inflated with gas. UGH! But she is in great spirits and on a good disage of oxycodone. (I remember that stuff from my section with Buzzy. The stuff is wicked...LOL)

Today was so stressful though. Everyone was on pins and needles due to the surgery. And of course everyone was praying that I in turn did not go into labor, including myself. My poor grandparents and aunt were up from early this morning getting things situated and comfortable and in order so my mom didn't have to worry about anything. My poor gramma took on way more than her share of responsibility, not only taking care of Buzzy and myself but my cousin, cleaning her house, doing her laundry, making everyone lunch, mowing the lawns, letting out my Aunt's dog, trying to get dinner preparations settled so my grandpa didn't have to when he got home. It was definitely trying and stressful for her. Dinner in and of itself was comical with people running back and forth out of the dining room, into the den to see if my mom was okay, if she needed anything etc. I had requested some Hazelnut coffee for dessert and apparently the package that my sister bought contained stale beans or something because my grandpa (due to all the stress I'm sure) would not let it go that the coffee was rank. Three hours after dinner was done he was still goin' on and on about how disgusting the coffee was and how he was going to take it back and get something that tasted halfway decent. My poor sister. She just wanted to make her sister happy by getting her some coffee... LOL. I felt so bad. As if she didn't get haranged enough by my overly stressed grandpa today. Jeez.

Due to all the stress of the day I have been contracting more, and more painfully as well. But I am not getting my hopes up that it is anything new because I know that if I do, it for sure won't be. Murphey's law right? My BIP is suffering because of this waiting period we are on waiting for LN to be born. I can't concentrate to write and even if I could, I have no inspiration. UGH!

Hmmm, any other news? I don't think so. I am hoping to save my 100th post for LN's birth so if I can abstain that long (cuz we aren't sure how long that would be) I won't be writing again until I have photos to share. If she hangs on tight and isn't born until the third by scheduled c-section, I may just have to give up the 100th post dream and come back to write out of sheer boredom. LOL

So until then, until soon. Pray I go into labor please.
<3

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Popping In

Just popping in to say I had an OB appointment today. I found out I tested positive for group B strep but because of my weight I have to have an IV during labor anyway so it's no problem to administer the necessary antibiotics as well.

The good news is that I went from high, hard and closed 4 days ago to 1cm dilated. Yay! I know, I know, nothin' to get too excited about. But with Buzzy the minute I was 1cm dilated I went into labor 4 days later. Or was it 3? In any case it was close. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

God Bless and I will return again I'm sure before LN is born. TTYS
Much <3

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Feeling Opinionated

And while I'm at it, I'm feeling opinionated today.
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. . . And the Thunder Rolls . . .

The expression, 'when it rains, it pours' couldn't be more true than right now in my family. There is so much going on right now it is ALMOST comical, but not quite.

Let's see.

First of all, as I have already mentioned, my Papa Jim is still not in the clear. I have been told he is doing better but remains in rehab (I think) and who knows if he will live out the remainder of his days there or if he will eventually go home. Honestly, neither is a real way to live out the rest of ones life. One is among strangers, while the other is alone with family who lives only a couple houses away but doesn't take the initiative to come visit. (It's true. Some family are in such denial about his age and illnesses that they actually refuse to do anything about making his last days memorable, comfortable and nice) It is so very sad.

On top of that one of my family on the Greek side passed away a few weeks ago and now come to find out, his wife (whether by accident or suicide, we aren't sure) was found dead in her pool. (OMG!) She had multiple sclerosis and was pretty much wheelchair bound. She had recently broken her arm and wore a cast. My gramma said that when she was first diagnosed with MS she claimed nothing helped her feel better than to take a swim. So we aren't sure if in an attempt to feel better, or in an attempt to take her own life she tried to get in the pool while she was alone. So so very sad.

Another family member, George, has a very dangerous blood clot behind his clavicle. He was taking blood thinners to try to disintegrate the clot but it didn't work and now they are worried that they might have to do emergency surgery in order to keep it from dislodging and moving toward his heart. (OMG again!)

My mom is having surgery for her gall stones this Friday. They aren't sure and won't be sure if it will be done as a laproscopic surgery or a full blown one. Regardless, her recovery time will be between 2 weeks and 1 month. The important thing is that they are able to remove whatever is necessary and that she comes out of it will and healthy without any repercussions.

And lastly, and probably least, is me. No I don't have anything wrong with me. No blood clots, no gall stones, no strokes and I'm certainly not dying (but I may say differently when I'm in the throes of labor... LOL) but I am ready to give birth and with everything else going on it seems insignificant and trivial. (sigh)

And the thunder rolls . . .

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Queen of . . .

As this pregnancy progresses, I get bigger, and am left with less and less I am able to do, therefore freeing up time to be bored and trying to fill this time with none sense to keep from going crazy, I realized I have become the queen of pointless blogging. (wow was that a run-on sentence or what?)

I try to clean as much as I am capable which isn't a whole lot. I find myself doing something I used to do before children which is refreshing and refreshing the same site over and over to see if something new has popped up or someone new has posted. I find myself eating. I guess it could be worse. I don't plan on binging forever. Just for the next week or so until this child decides to evacuate my body. I try to count contractions which only ends in a string of mental profanity and great outward irritability. And so I blog.

For those of you who read, maybe you do or don't notice the pointlessness to my blog posts as of late, but let me tell you, I literally pull them outta my butt thin air. I sit down and say, I think I'll blog and blog about the first things that come to mind, such as now and this post about my pointless posts. LOL

Buzzy's asleep. Myturo and our nephew are in the other room watching America's Got Talent, and here I am contracting a bit more painfully, and wondering if I lie down if my acid reflux will allow me to sleep. Will the endless contractions allow me to sleep? Will morning come fast enough?

Oh, that's another thing. I truly dread bed time now. Buzzy seems to notice this and as I have mentioned before is super restless. I try to sleep on my left side as recommended for heavily pregnant women but sometimes it's just too much and I need to lay on my right side. But Buzzy is to my left so if she stirrs I have to roll my rotundous whalish figure over to tend to her which is so not easy! It usually provokes a contraction, which provokes a string of mental (if not verbal) profanity and then I am stuck on my left side for the rest of the night wishing I could just turn over easily.

I just ate a poppyseed muffin and a glass of milk. MMM MMM MMM. I need to get all the sugar, salt, fat, grease cravings out of my system now because as soon as this little one exits my body, Mission Weight Loss to Hot Mama, begins. LOL Don't quote me on that title though. It will probably change sporadically.

Swelling has set in. Did I mention that before. At least I'm almost done. With Buzzy I was pretty swollen with pitting edema from 20 weeks on. Just now with LN have I started to swell and it doesn't help we ate at a Chinese buffet tonight. Can we say sodium intake? LOL Generally though, this pregnancy has left me much more comfortable in the swelling department which I am so very thankful for. I don't know how I'd survive if I was as puffy now as I was with Buzzy.

One of my friend's birthdays is coming up on the 27th. Originally she forbade me from giving birth on that day as she "doesn't want to share with my little brat" but now she is saying she has a sneaky feeling that LN will indeed be born on that day. As of right now, I say any day that promises relief is good with me. LOL Sorry Shweelay. If you have to share, you have to share. I need this kid out!

And with that last random tidbit I will bid you all goodnight. I am sure I will be back soon with more random if not completely pointless blog posts. That is, unless LN decides to come and then I will return with photos and a birth story. So until then. Keep the labor vibes coming! Lord knows I need em!

Much Love <3

Impatience of a Pregnant Mama

It's really sad when you spend your days hoping for labor, trying to find ways to put yourself into labor and wondering if you are in labor.

It's really sad when you look at your one year old who is playing quietly on the floor and all you can think about is your birth experience with her and how at the time it seemed so easy. (Haha yeah right)

It's really sad when every twinge and every ache makes you jump up and down (figuratively because as of now with this baby's huge head in your pelvis that is quite literally impossible) in anticipation of labor.

And it's really sad when you stare across the street
(because that's where the hospital is, *like literally across the street)
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^^^^^^^^^ SEE ^^^^^^^^^^^
longingly wishing you were there instead of your comfy home.

Yes, this is all very sad.
Pathetic really.
But it is my life.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

To, or Not To, That is the Question

Updated Post

Explain to me this:
I call the oncall doctor to explain my contractions. I imagine she will tell me that they sound like Braxton Hicks and to wait till they are closer, more regular and painful.

But no. She tells me to go into labor and delivery because and I quote "those don't sound like Braxton Hicks to me."

So I go in. They put me on the monitor. They take pee that they never actually check. They get LN's heartbeat. Fabulous. They get my contractions. 2 MINUTES APART! But mild. And then . . . they send me home.

Explain this to me please. UGH!
It wasn't like I lied to the doctor. I told her they were mild. I told her they were about 10 minutes apart. I had no idea they were only 2 minutes apart. And then they send me home? Wahhhhhhhhh! <--- that is all I have to say about that.

Original Post

I am contracting. There is no doubt about that. The question is, why are they getting more intense but not closer together at times, and others they are super close together but feel like nothing? Kinda frustrating. And yet while I sleep (or attempt to sleep) I have some that are so intense that I wake myself groaning. UGH!

It's 4:19am here. I have had 2 contractions in 5 minutes. Not very intense, so will continue to monitor for a bit before I attempt sleep again. I wish everything about baby making, and baby birthing and baby raising were as cut and dry as they portray it on TV and in the movies. Life would be so much more simple. Granted, a lot more dull, but so much more simple.

My nose is burning. My . . . I'm having another mild contraction as we speak. This one only 3 minutes after the last. The problem is, like I said, that the ones that are close together are super mild. UGH! In any case, as I was saying, my sunburn is making me sweat even though I'm a bit chilled and it is already starting to itch. I hope it doesn't peel. Sun burns are noooo fun. But of course it would be me who forgets three key angles on my body when applying sunblock, or as my gramma calls it, body sauce. LOL

Another contraction, already? wow. I'm impressed, but I'd be more impressed if it was more intense. I think maybe I will start timing their duration. They don't seem to last very long either, making me think they're still crumby braxton hicks contractions. Again, so not cool.

OK, so just for fun I will describe what my contractions feel like. Generally they start in my nether regions (like a pressure like I have to go #2) and slowly escalate into my pelvis which feels more like menstrual cramps and then grows and tightens around my whole abdomen. Sometimes it even reaches around my back. The only difference, as I said before, is that some are mild, like the ones I am feeling now. And others are intense and more painful.

Like this one. It feels like a balloon being blown up from my hooha into my pelvis, the pressure growing and intensifying, and then slowly being deflated until I don't feel anything anymore. Weird. I wish I could get some concrete answers. Like if there was a machine you could buy to self monitor and it would say, "Hello Buzzy's Mama, you are currently having Braxton Hicks contractions. There is no need to go to labor and delivery yet." OR more preferably, "Hello Buzzy's Mama, you are currently in the early stages of labor. Please wait until your contractions are (this far apart) before proceeding to your closest birth center." LOL Now wouldn't that be nice?

Ok, I'm done babbling. Off to google some stuff, finish the hours worth of contraction counting and possibly head off to bed again. Pray for me!

And just for shits & giggles, here are the times of my contractions:
4:13am
4:18am
4:21am
4:26am
4:31am
4:36am
UPDATED
4:41am
4:46am
4:50am
4:58am <-- Aw Man! They're spacing out!
5:08am <--- Double AW man! UGH! Back off to bed, I go.
5:19am <--- Whatever . . . (had a contraction as I was posting the darn update. Bleck!)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Day of SpongeBob and Pool Hopping

Updated Post:

As I write this I am contracting. No, not the knuckle whitening painful kind, but the annoying, menstrual cramping kind that you just cannot decide if it is real or not. I have counted about 10-13 minutes between them. Neat. Just long enough to not be productive, right? LOL

Anyway, today was good all in all. We went swimming, had a great lunch, napped, showered and attended a family birthday party. Buzzy tanned beautifully while out at the pool and Mama burned beautifully. Yeah, nothin' like adding salt to the wounds. LOL

Tomorrow (if I am not in the hospital, which I keep praying for) my sister will be babysitting visiting Buzzy and I so that my grandma can have a break. Poor woman has given up a good part of her free time, her alone time, her time off work and her time to be with my grandpa to be with Buzzy and I in our my time of need. God Bless her!!

Not much else is going on in the Portillo household. Nope, not much at all. And so I leave you with Buzzy's favorite song.

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he...
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS
If nautical nonesense be something you wish ...
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ...
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS
SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS
SPONGEBOOOOOOOBB SQUARE PAAAAAANTSSSSSS!!

Original Post:

Here I am. 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant. That means I have today and tomorrow and then I'm considered full term. FULL TERM! Okay, as much as I want this little one out it seems to final to say I am FULL TERM. Granted, I am so excited still and am praying she makes it out sooner than later. My Braxton Hicks contractions are still there but are so irregular. I am waiting for my mucous plug to come out. It came out somewhere around 37 weeks with Buzzy. I wonder if it will do the same with LN.

Yesterday, due to the horrendous heat wave, we went swimming in the big pool and Buzzy LOVED it! She is definitely a water baby. My happy-go-lucky-hip-shaking-Spongebob-singing-bathtime-loving-water baby. She didn't want to get out, just like she never wants to get out of the bathtub and she got a tan (cuz of her Mexican melanin...LOL)(cuz of her beautiful olive colored skin) even though she was doused with layers of sunscreen. I must also say she is currently in her glory because Spongebob is her favorite cartoon ever and three days of it is on Nickelodeon for the Spongebob Sponge Bash celebration of his birthday. She doesn't even miss Dora, or Diego or on other channels, Manny or Tigger & Pooh.

Today we are going swimming again. I guess if nothing else, if I can't give birth, I can at least go weightless for a couple hours in the chlorine smelling goodness. Although it's a pain in the @$$ butt to get out of the pool and feel like I suddenly weight 1000 lbs significantly more than when I entered the water. LOL And today my mom has the whole day off so I am excited that she may join us as well. (Us being my gramma, my aunt, my cousin, Buzzy and myself)

I will be back to update on the days events. That is IF there is anything to update on. Maybe I'll take pictures. And then again, maybe I won't. We'll see! Until then . . .

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

OMG - How Embarrassing

My Mom Caught Me Sitting on My Yoga Ball
All I can say about that is... wow ... How Embarrassing!

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This is me catching myself on my yoga ball
Yeah totally embarrassing in a completely different way!

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Pictures of my Buzzy-Love . . .
(Much less embarrassing. Heck who am I kidding. I'm so proud of her!)

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MOVIE STAAAAH!

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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Heavenly Soap

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I am not sure why, but Irish Spring soap and I have fallen in love with each other. I cannot get enough of this smell. I could stand in the shower soaping myself or in front of the sink with the water running and washing my hands for hours breathing in this smell. Anyone know of an "Irish Spring Soap Smellers Anonymous"? LOL

If you've never smelled this soap, you need to go to your local supermarket now and buy a bar. It is absolutely the most fabulous soap smell ever. Then again, it could be that I feel this way because of being pregnant and my smell/tastes being way out of wack. LOL

In any case, as of right now, Irish Spring Soap and I are having a love affair. Sshh! Don't tell Myturo.

Growth Scan

Update:

There isn't much new to report except for the fact that my child is huge slightly larger than we expected. She is estimated to weigh between 6.5 and 7.5lbs already and I am hoping beyond all possibility that I go into labor sooner than later now so I still have the option of a VBAC.
She was slightly transverse, with her read resting on my pelvic bones instead of inside of them, so the prayer that she might be engaged was not answered, but I expected as much. The ultrasound tech tried to get a pic for me but the best he could do was the backside of her head and her back, which I cannot even truly make out in the photo, so it really isn't worth posting.
I have no more ultrasounds scheduled, so the countdown has begun. Will I go into labor or will I have my c-section in 3 weeks 4 days time? Either way, within a month my LN will be here. Yay!
I hope I can survive that long with this massive heartburn, all the contractions that still plague me, and not being able to hold my baby chunk-a-munk-a-love due to instruction for limited activity. That part bites the big one.

*If you haven't already voted for her time and date of birth for a chance to win a $20 gift card, please do so in my left side bar.

- On another note, my Papa Jim, who had a stroke, seemed to have been getting better and the hospital discharged him and sent him back to rehabilitation. (dumb people) Now he is thought to have pneumonia. Will the stupidity of these "Kaiser" doctors never end? The man has had cardiac arrest, a pacemaker put in, a mini-stroke and now is thought to have pneumonia all in the span of less than three weeks and they just keep sending him to the hospital, discharging him and sending him back to rehab. When will they understand that in the hospital is where he belongs so they can monitor him, regardless of if he seems to be doing better. Obviously he is not because it is one thing directly after the next that keeps him being transported back and forth. It is sooo frustrating! So prayers would be greatly appreciated. Prayers for peace for my family and peace for my grandfather, whether it be here on earth or up in heaven, but peace regardless.


Original Post:

Today I am having my 35 week growth scan. Myturo was supposed to watch Buzzy while my grandma took me (as I am having a harder and harder time driving) but apparently he came home with a migraine of sorts and so now Buzzy will be going with us. Not ideal, considering the whole point was so that my grandma could enjoy the ultrasound but its ok. Hopefully Buzzy will behave.
I am becoming progressively more uncomfortable with the passing of each day. I have to pee about every twenty minutes and the pelvic pressure I feel is absolutely insane. So I am praying that aside from telling me that LN looks healthy and more proportionate (belly wise) that they'll tell me she's not only head down (because she is) but that her head has entered my pelvis and possibly engaged. I know, I know, it's early but a desperate mama can hope. I have been doing pelvic exercises on a yoga ball to try to coerce her to drop further. We'll see if that works. I will return later today with an update and possibly pics.
*On another note, Myturo and I obviously did nothing to speak of in the sense of attempting to ripen my cervix because of his headache but maybe (again, a mama can pray) tonight?

*Sorry Court, once again.

In any case, I will be back after my appointment to update as I said. Until then . . .

Monday, July 6, 2009

Rejection

I'm pissed. And for those of you who read, who have been in my place, and maybe even those of you who haven't but have been in a similar situation, maybe you can sympathize. I saw my OB today. She checked my cervix, told me it was still long, closed etc. No, this is not what I am pissed about, although it would have made me happier if she had at least told me my cervix was softening. But, alas, no such words escaped her mouth. Long and closed were the only two. (sigh)
So, I read somewhere that semen is high in prostaglandins and that by having sex, the prostaglandins can soften and ripen the cervix, naturally. I thought I would seduce my husband tonight. But unfortunately, he is holding some kind of grudge against me about three weeks ago when he 'wanted some' and I wasn't in the mood. So, he is on strike and I am PISSED. Not only do I feel jipped at making any possible attempts to soften my cervix but I also feel rejected as a woman.
Now being hugely pregnant, whalish even, and feeling so unntractive is bad enough. Does he really have to be so mean and add salt to the wounds as to deny me? Jeez! What a jerk. In any case, I had to vent somewhere, so here it shall be.

*Court, I know you read this and I apologize. LOL I know these are things you just don't want to read. But I love ya!

PS: Baby Belly at 35 Weeks
Photobucket

Sunday, July 5, 2009

24 Hours from Hell to Heaven

On the second of July I started contracting. I had been contracting for weeks but the contract ions were mild, pressure that were very irregular and not very noticeable. On the second, I started getting a upside down U shaped burning sensation in my fundus (upper uterine area) and tightenings that were spaced 3-4 minutes apart. I decided I would not go to labor and delivery because all they would do was put me on the monitors, assure Little Nameless' safety and health and send me home.
On the third, I could no longer stand the pain/intense pressure although it was nothing compared to real labor (like I had with Buzzy) and decided to go ahead and go in. Thank God I did because my blood pressure was 181/91 (can we say hypertensive?) and I was running a low grade fever. After being checked by the fabulous doctor on call (Dr. H) - (not dilated and 3cm still in length) he decided to monitor LN, monitor my contractions, and give me some blood pressure medications that was supposed to help with the contractions as well as lower my BP.
They then took a urine sample to test for proteins in my urine (which would have been bad because that shows liver dysfunction). That came back negative which is good.
They then gave me an IV to hydrate me (it has been so stinkin' hot and I am not good about drinkin' my water) - ( and it took three very painful attempts to locate a good vein and thread the catheter correctly because either my veins were small, or the catheter hit a valve. Now my forearms and hands are bruised because of it) and they took several vials of blood to do a panel and try to eliminate pre-eclampsia as I had also been having sparkle vision (you know when you see little lights all around in your vision?) and bad headaches. I was told if I did have pre-e, I would probably be delivering via c-section that day which scared and excited me. Eventually, though (like 2 hours later) the blood work came back negative as well, (I must admit I was just a tad disappointed as I was day dreaming about my little girl being born, even though I know it was too early) but my contractions continued. The nurses had me sit down, lie down, walk around but nothing helped to relieve the contractions.
And so the doctor decided to keep me over night. My beautiful, wonderful, ever so patient sister (which is saying something considering she's 16) decided to stay with me and so we watched movies (between me grimacing in pain from both the headaches that never waned and the contractions) read books and talked. It was nice. I love spending time with her.
The next morning they monitored LN again, who took almost two hours to get the necessary accelerations (heart beat rises and drops) to satisfy the nurses and doctor. My contractions continued. But my blood pressure by this time had lowered significantly to a normal 119/56. My headache persisted. The doctor came in around noon to check me again, saying my cervix had shortened by a very minuscule amount but was still super high and closed. Baby's head was starting to enter my pelvis and after he checked me I started contracting more often and more painfully. UGH!
I was sent home on limited activity (as in no cleaning or washing or picking up Buzzy) and instructed to see my doctor on Monday for a follow up. I honestly wish I had done this sooner if I had known the outcome. My family has been flocking to my home to see me, to help, to play with Buzzy, to hold her and change her and take care of her for me (since I am unable to hold her) They are making arrangements for LN's birth and helping me reorganize my house, wash baby clothes, and just get ready in general. Everyone is coming for dinners now at my house and the company is just so fabulous. I wish it could be like this all the time. I feel very pampered and very blessed.
I am still contracting regularly and more painfully, but thank God my headache is gone. My blood pressures have been marginally high. (My uncle who once studied to be a nurse and suffered from high blood pressure had a cuff at home that he is letting me borrow). I suppose we will see what my doc, or whatever doc I see on Monday if she isn't available says about what will happen next.
I wish I had more time to elaborate more. But I am determined to help as much as my instruction for 'limited activity' allows which means I will be folding baby clothes and putting them away etc etc. So there is the update. Let's pray we have a baby in the next couple weeks.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th of July

May we remember why we celebrate it, and not let our forefathers memory go to waste!

*I will return tomorrow or soon with an update on my 24 hours in labor and delivery. What an experience. Until then.

Be safe, have fun and let's celebrate our country's independence!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

A Bit of Death, A Bit of Life

The last several days have been trying. In short, my step-father's father who is like a real grandfather to me had a stroke while being rehabilitated for a pace maker he had put in. He has been severely ill off and on and for the last three years has been on the verge of death so many times that we thought for sure this would be the time to 'do him in'. Thankfully, and also sadly for him because he continues to suffer, he is getting stronger. His speech is no longer very slurred, his face is not as saggy and he is regaining mobile function. I don't understand why God allows a good man to suffer such humility. He has had issue after issue, falls often up and down stairs, can no longer work and basically sits like an 'aware vegetable' at home with a nurse to feed and bathe him. He is a very proud man and it kills me to know he continues to suffer.
On another note, I have been contracting again and again and am thinking that if this baby doesn't come a ton sooner than she is expected, I may very well go looney tunes. It's no fun contracting 2+ times an hour (sometimes painfully and sometimes not) knowing that it is doing nothing and I still potentially have 4 more weeks to go. I am hopng I go into spontaneous labor right at 37 weeks which would only give me 2 more weeks. That sounds more reasonable. In any case, that is my update. Buzzy is complaining that I am not paying attention to her though so off I go to do my motherly duties. Until next time.
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