Friday, January 15, 2010

A Buttload to Write

I have so much going on in my head that I feel I need to get out tonight that this post may be uber extra super duper long. So, please bear with me.

First I want to say thank you to Scarlet Simplefor awarding me two beautiful blog awards. I am flattered.
If you have never visited her website, you should. She is a true inspiration and has accomplished so much.

For the beautiful blogger award you are supposed to tell 7 interesting things or secrets about yourself, and nominate 7 people, and for the Happy 101 award you are supposed to talk about 10 things you love, and then nominate 10 people. But because I have so many things to write about tonight, I am only going to nominate the 17 blogs. So here goes:

1. Allison of Operation 365
2. 100in12
3. Of Mice and Ramen
4. Sandy at One Day at a Time
5. Jenn at Watch My Butt Shrink: A Weight Loss Blog
6. Sarah at QUICK . . . Save me from myself
7. Adam Freeman at Kayleigh's Story
8. Monica at Confessions of a + Sized Girl
9. Jana at The Meanest Mom on the Block
10. MamaBear at 4 the Love of Family
11. Kristen at Once a Mother
12. Amy at Snarky Mommy
13. Kelly at My Voice, My View
14. Not Your Typical Mommy
15. MckMama
16. Zgirl at Lose it Bitches
17. Marcelle at Making Babies

WHEEEWWWW... That took me the good part of an hour to accomplish. Now, onto weightloss. Ugh! Weightloss and all that accompanies it.

STRUGGLES

I would have to say that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t look at one food or another and say, hmm, maybe just a bite… or how much could that really hurt me? I literally have a mini-war with myself inside my brain. It sucks! Sometimes I choose well, other times I don’t. Tonight I did, but let me tell you. It was TOUGH!
My eight year old cousin has a FAMILY FUN NIGHT every year at her school and tonight I decided to take Buzzy. So we went. First off, Buzzy is offered a tootsie pop. No biggie right? No one offered it to me right? So why should I be tempted right? WRONG! First off, Buzzy is only 19 months old so she is liable to get sticky, messy, icky gooey, yucky even if the food is bland, dry and hard to break apart. So of course, I have tootsie pop all over me and I am trying with every ounce of me to remember not to lick my fingers. Since Buzzy started eating big girl foods it has been my BAD habit to use my fingers to tear, break apart, fix or clean Buzzy’s food up and of course the remnants on my fingers were always easily removed by my own mouth. I can’t do that anymore. I have to find a napkin or a wet wipe or a paper towel for her and then I have to make sure I wash my own hands to get the residue off as well. It’s time consuming! So that was just the beginning. Next, my cousin (the 8 year old) takes Buzzy on a cupcake walk (you know, how they play music and you walk around in a circle on numbered cupcakes and when the music stops, they draw numbers to see who gets one) well of course Buzzy gets one. That’s Murphy’s Law. Does she want it? No, of course not because she’s too busy running around like a wild woman. Why can’t I have her energy? In any case I am stuck holding this delicious white cake cupcake with white frosting and sprinkles. I summon all my willpower and quickly hand it to my 8 year old cousin. EAT THIS! HURRY, BEFORE I ATTACK YOU TO GET IT BACK! On top of the tootsie pop and the cupcake Buzzy also ate ¼ of a hotdog that nearly broke my heart to throw away, a piece of pizza, a few bites of a creamcicle that I was thankfully able to pawn off on my grandma and an ice cream sandwich that she only took 2 nibbles of. Thankfully at this point I was near a trash and that sucker flew through that flap so fast it didn’t know what hit it.

Now, I have to say here that I have a rule that I don’t eat anything after 8:00PM. I can drink 1 diet coke and chew gum but no food/juice/milk goes past these lips between the hours of 8:00PM-8:00AM the next morning. So, when I arrive home I look at the clock and see it is 8:06. I had been so proud of myself for not giving in to ANY temptation, especially since my SKINNY COW ICECREAM SANDWICHES (which are 140 calories each, not 240 as I had originally thought and posted as much) were waiting for me. Well, 8:06 means no ice cream sandwich. My mom told me it wouldn’t hurt me. It was only a few minutes after 8 but I just couldn’t bring myself to break my rule and so begrudgingly I shoved some gum in my mouth. UGH! Now, as I sit here and type I am sippin’ a diet coke and feel much more satisfied. I think the caffeine does something to my brain ***insert twilight zone music here***

JEALOUSY

I hate looking at other people and seeing in them what I wish I had. I wish I could look at the thin woman and see how beautiful she is/was without wishing I had her flat stomach or her tones arms or her round butt. I wish I could look and not cringe with envy at how cute she looks in that skirt or how she can wear a blouse with very short sleeves. I hate being jealous. I hate being envious. We aren’t supposed to covet things from our neighbors, says the Bible. So what do I do on a daily basis? I covet the dang bodies of all the stupid skinny women in town. Yep, that’s what I do. I hope one day to be a skinny woman and look back and be able to reminisce that I was so silly. But for now, jealousy is a big part of my life. A part I guess I’m not truly ready to give up yet. Hopefully God will put it in me to appreciate what he has given me, the body he has bestowed on me and realize that I just need to care for it better to achieve the things that I want. Yes, that sounds good. At least on here it does. Now can I put it into action?

PANTS

Last but not least I must say that today was a serious breakthrough. Since Buzzy was born I have been able to put on my jeans maybe only a dozen times and they have always been uncomfortably tight. So I end up taking them off and pulling on my black sweats. Yuck! I hate feeling so frumpy. Well, today after weighing myself and seeing that I had lost 14 pounds in 14 days, I decided to try my jeans and GUESS WHAT??? They fit. Not just fit because I was able to pull them up over my gigantuan hips, and able to zip and button them, but because they were comfortable, bordering on TOO BIG!! I am so excited! Ecstatic really! It was a truly beautiful thing to experience.

And now I am off. Off to sleep. Dreamland. They say the better quality sleep you get the easier it is to shed the weight, so off to dreamland I go, Hi HO! G’night blog world and God Bless!

The Fat Chick

8 comments :

  1. WOW!! Two awards! First of all, congrats on the well-deserved awards and thanks for passing them on to me. You rock!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just stopped by from Monica's blog. I want to wish you success, it's all up to you, no one else is responsible for anything! I'll cheer you on.

    Secretia (Secret Story Time)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey
    I've just found your blog via Confessionsofa+sizegirl's blog and I have to say - what a fantastic start to your weight-loss journey!!!!! Well done! I will definitely be following and cheering for you all the way!
    Rach

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello!! I have also just found your blog and I feel like I could have written this post myself. Awesome job on 14 pounds in 2 weeks!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi!!!
    Thank you so much for the TWO awards - wow!!! I'm so thrilled!!!
    And congrats on your incredible loss so far, and on being able to wear comfy jeans - yay!

    ReplyDelete
  6. First thank you so much for including me in your award. I am so honored to be included in this list among such fabulous women. This really put a smile on my face. Thank you also for bringing me to this blog. I have always gone up and down with my weight, and know what you mean about so many things here, the sweat pants, the coveting thy neighbors toned arms. I am still about 20 lbs from where I would like to be and think you should be so proud of yourself for losing 14 pounds in two weeks. That would literally take me a year to do. Keep going girl, you are amazing!

    Just a thought too, for after 8 pm. Have you considered (and if you have and I just don't see it here sorry) pouring some of the diet soda (maybe a few different flavors for variety) into an ice cube tray for a snack for after 8PM? Might be nice to have something to chew on, and frozen pop always tastes so good!

    I look forward to reading about your continue progress. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi - I'm new to your blog, but am totally going to follow! Congrats on your 14 pounds in two weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you so much for these awards! I really appreciate your thinking of me :) This looks like it's going to be an amazing blog documenting your journey. I wish you all the best of luck!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...