Sunday, January 3, 2010

Banter with Curt Part I

The following is a banter-fest between myself and a guy named Curt. I found it comical. You may. You may not, but I'm posting it regardless.

Curt messaged me (cold) first. His message said and I replied:

Curt: Why don't we get together and do some recycling?

Me: Funny

Curt: Funny haha or funny like roll your eyes?

Me: Like funny sarcastic, considering I don't recycle.

Curt: Glad to see you didn't take me seriously.

Me: Yes, indeed. Sarcasm comes off pretty poorly on the internet unless you nail it just right. You'd be surprised how many people think I'm joking about not recycling (as if its a sin)

Curt: hoping nothing nibbles on your exposed toes in 2010. Sunday morning. What's for breakfast?

Me: Saturday? and coffee

Curt: I was disoriented when I woke up. Especially, when I saw you were online.

Me: K, I'm 25, not 18. I don't get all flustered and blushy with those kinds of compliments. Sorry if I sound crass but I'm just not into the sugary sweet flirty nonesense. No offense or fault of yours of course.K, I'm 25, not 18. I don't get all flustered and blushy with those kinds of compliments. Sorry if I sound crass but I'm just not into the sugary sweet flirty nonesense. No offense or fault of yours of course.

Curt: thought I was flirting. My bad. I'm always disoriented when I wake up and everything seems to be in black and your profile pic.

Me: smooth

Curt: must be the delicious french toast I'm munching on that's starting to kick in.

Me: Must be. Not a big 'breakfast' fan. I like my coffee. Once in a while maybe an egg or a bagel/muffin...but generally just coffee

Curt: Most girls aren't really into breakfast. I'm not a coffee person. How are we ever going to get past this?

Me: tea? cocoa? hot tottie?

Curt: You're just trying to set me up with the hot tottie question. But, cocoa is good. I've got some Baileys which makes it even better.

Me: me? set you up? naah . . . yeah bailey's is good. Southern comfort (not w/ cocoa) is better. But I'm not into drinking. The suggestion was for your benefit.
Finish 'munchin' your toast?

Curt: Yep. Now it's on to laundry. The excitement never ends. You're already looking out for me huh? I would say that's sweet, but that would be ridiculous.

Me:Many things in life are ridiculous... but they can make it interesting
yep, i'm doing laundry too. not my fave activity but it must be done. a necessary evil if you will.
i'd like to go out but can't... darnit

Curt: Yes...beautiful downtown Vancouver is calling you I'd imagine. Unless it's Kelso, of course.

Me: was that some sort of jab, or a poor excuse for a guess as to where I live. I live in neither of the cities you mentioned. And no place is calling me due to my severe aversion to my sick kids.

There was an interlude of boring talk about golf and University Place which is where he lives which brought us to the next subject.

Curt: Yes...very pretty. Awfully gray today though. Need any golf balls?

Me: Not a big fan of golf. I prefer more dynamic sports/activities . . . tennis, bowling, baseball, dancing

Curt: Yes bowling. I couldn't agree more. The round poundage contacting the oily hardwood surface only to seek out the oblong wooden figures mocking the spinning sphere as it approaches to wreck it damage on all. Now I'm fired up. Let's go bowling!

Me: That was quite a description. I'm impressed but will have to put a rain check on the outting. As I mentioned, my girls are sick and I can't leave them. :)

Curt: Awwww...that's too bad. The ultimate bowling alley would have heavy bags on each lane so you take out your frustrations when the weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

Me: I'm not sure if it's coincidental, strange or just pathetic that I actually understood that (the last part that is) esp since I believe weebles were before my time

Curt: Uh huh. I'm ancient. I've also hurt my foot a time or two kicking the ball return machine.

Me: Ancient, nah... yeah, those ball return machines... they don't like to be kicked and will hurt you worse than you can hurt them

Curt: You should be proud of yourself, talking to old people. Kinda like charity work.

Me: you've just got me pegged all wrong. i dont do charity work. too self-absorbed, er selfish, i mean busy... so if i'm talking to you it's A: i'm bored and you're entertaining or B: i'm just bored

Curt: I guess it's too bad I'm not spoiling you then. Then there would be a possibility you would be entertained and enjoying your self absorbed selfish nature. But, you can't be too self absorbed or you would load your daughters up with Nyquil and then hit the road.

Me: Aww, I AM enjoying our little banter-fest. And you're 100% right I just miss the cut off of self-absorbed-ishness that I care more about my daughters' health than my own desire for 'getting out'. Plus I believe giving Nyquil to children under 2 is frowned upon.

Curt: Well...then you're just not self absorbed enough. But, you have plenty of time to work on that. I can only imagine what "getting out" entails for someone of your semi self absorbed selfishnessnessness.

Me: Haha! Getting out means going to get gas, heading to Freddys, or if I get really wild and crazy I go to Starbucks . . . the life of a self absorbededed mother with 2 under 2. oh oh oh and sometimes we go to the kids center for gymboree! LMAO - now that's a fun time. Don't tell me there's a better time than that. >:D

Curt: I do enjoy gymboree. I've been working on my somersaults for like a week now. Freddys also has broccoli and cauliflower on sale for less than a buck a pound. So, I understand the attraction there.

Me: Wow, you must be in the advanced group. Somersaults. ((sigh)) we are still in the jumping on the trampoline phase and trying desperately to stay upright and not fall off.
mmm trees and albino trees... yeah not a fave on my kiddos list, but heck, who can beat less than a buck a pound. I'm gonna stock up.
going to go give my child something to consume while my other child is sleeping. I shall return soon, though, because the excitement here is truly irresistible.


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