As I pondered what had me down in the dumps today I had an epiphany. I wasn't bummed because I'd lost only 2lbs. I was fine with that. After long contemplation and a bit of soul searching, I realized I was upset because without knowing it, I not only set myself up for failure but for gaining all the weight back once I got it off.
Let me back up a bit here. I keep reiterating that I want to lose a minimum of 2lbs per week to be such and such a weight by this date. Many might argue that I am simply setting goals for myself and in a way I suppose that's true.
But here's how I see it. If I add dates to the numbers I aspire to be, especially with an 'END' date for it all (ie - I want to be 150lbs 1 year from when I began which would be January 1, 2011) By doing this, I am limiting myself and setting myself up for disappointment which is a good recipe for failure. By doing this I have also created an illusion in my mind that THERE WILL BE AN END DATE. FALSE! This isn't a diet to get me to a weight I want to be so I can jump back on the Fatty Wagon. No sir! This is a lifestyle change. So I have decided not to limit myself. I have decided not to put dates to my weights. As long as I know I am trying as hard as I can, exercising as much as is healthy and doing everything in my power to better my health and extend my life, there is no reason to put dates to weights. Know what I mean.
As I realized this, a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. Next week it won't matter if I lose .5lbs or 5lbs as long as I have done everything to push myself toward a better me. THAT is all that matters.
That being said, I decided to celebrate my 20lb loss with a meal of my choice. I ate well before that.
Cheerios/2% milk (because there was no more nonfat)/banana - about 320 cals
100 cal pack of chocolate covered pretzels - 100 cals
Lean Cuisine Parmesan crusted fish - 290 cals
Chicago Sports Pepper Burger & Fries (All natural home-made ingredients - no fast food processed
Total - 1780 cals
Okay, so I went over by about 280 cals
I don't feel guilty about it. Okay, that's a lie. My guilt ebbs and flows but I don't feel like throwing in the towel because I celebrated. Especially since it was only one meal.
Tomorrow its back to the grindstone.
Again, thank you for all your advice, support and encouragement. You have no idea the good it does me.
The Fat Chick