I weighed myself this morning and it was one of the few things that made me smile. Unofficially I am now down to 304. 5 more pounds until 299. Just writing that makes tears well up under my eyelids. See! So dang emotional!
I suppose on a journey that changes you, not only physically but mentally and emotionally and hormonally, one could be expected to get a bit emotional every once in a while. In fact, I am a pretty emotional person to begin with. I'm just not used to not knowing why I feel a certain way. I always know why.
As I drove over the Interstate bridge today in search of a weather guard for my tandem stroller, I cried. I was thinking about my weight. About losing the weight. About the scale and the numbers and how it has been 31 days and I haven't been having a hard time at all. I was thinking about how that was surely a God Thing because normally the first week is hell and I'm lucky to get past it. Now, here I am, moving onto day 32 and the days just keep breezing by.
I'm in awe. I'm doing this. I'm really doing this. Skinny isn't a forbidden word. It isn't something that applies ONLY to other people. I can achieve skinny, thin, slender, svelte. Whatever you want to call it. I can and WILL achieve it.
With the number on the scale this morning came a lot of day dreaming. I began a mental countdown. If I lost 20lbs in the first month and lost at least 10lbs every month thereafter I could be under 200lbs by November. Holy Cow! I started thinking about all the things I would be able to enjoy so much more from then on. Shopping, playing with my girls, shopping, swimming, shopping, trips, shopping, the holidays and did I mention shopping?
Okay, so enough jibber jabber. Here is the business portion of this post. Today's food:
1 cup corn chex
1 cup nonfat milk
1 medium banana
TOTAL - 306 CALS
100 calorie pack of chocolate covered pretzels
TOTAL - 100 CALS
LC Thai Chicken
100 calorie pack of Lorna Dune cookies
TOTAL - 430 CALS
LC Chicken in basil cream sauce
100 calorie pack of wheat thins
TOTAL - 390 CALS
Skinny cow peanut butter & chocolate ice cream sandwich
TOTAL - 150 CALS
GRAND TOTAL FOR TODAY - 1376
*** CONFESSION ***
If I had to guess, my actual total calories is probably at 1400 or a little over. You see, my mom brought my sister home chicken fried rice tonight and my sister (the grazer that she is) only ate 1/2 the container. It smelled soooooooo good. So, while I was washing bottles and making bottles I realized my sister had left her 1/2 eaten container of chicken fried rice just sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen. THANKS COURT! NEXT TIME THROW IT AWAY KID! So, bad habits surfaced, but they did not rule me. I consciously and willingly took a small bite of the rice with a piece of chicken and onion and OMG OMG OMG! YUM! But that was all. I promptly threw the fork in the sink and escaped the kitchen as quickly as possible.
And now, with that off my chest, I will escape this post and go read all the wonderful blogs I follow.
The Fat Chick