Monday, January 18, 2010

McDonalds Struggle

I didn't actually have to struggle deciding if I was going to eat McDonald's today. No, that was easy because nothing was bought for me. Instead I ate a Lean Cuisine and a side salad with non-fat dressing from McDonalds. The struggle was watching my 19 month old eat chicken nuggets and my mom (the purchaser of the disgustingly greasy, fattening, murderous yummy goodness) eat her burger and smell the french fries. I admit MceeD's french fries are not my favorite but they smell sooooo good. It was torture watching them eat that crap and then even bigger torture when Buzzy only ate 3 of the 4 chicken nuggets and only 1/4 of her fries. My old self would have downed the leftovers faster than you could say McDonalds but my new self restrained her viscous desire to consume everything in front of her and instead ate my Lean Cuisine Margarita Pizza trying to savor it and make every bite taste as good as I knew it was good for me in comparison to the heart attack in a bag that my mom was feeding herself and my daughter. Now that I put it that way, I'm thinking Buzzy probably shouldn't be eating it either. UGH! The good news is she doesn't eat it very often.

Now tonight my aunt is making homemade minestrone soup. Uh oh, I smell another sodium bomb. UGH! The good news is that tonight takes the place of Wednesday dinner with the grandfolks so maybe I will be able to avoid the sodium bombs as I get closer to my Friday weigh in. I am hoping, as usual to have lost a minimum of 2lbs but if it's more than that's great. (who would complain at more, right?)

Now, the results of my photo.
I got a range of guesses in age from early twenties to my current age (25) all the way up to 30. (Gee, thanks... j/k. I know I look older) Anyway that photo was taken 4 days ago on January 13th. So, I was and am 25. As for my weight, would you all believe that day at my morning weigh in I weighed 313lbs? The guesses on my weight were all below 175. I wish the rest of my body could keep up with my upper torso. After my waist I swear it all just explodes. I'm not what you might call proportionate by any means.

The reason I posted this picture is because (aside from the bags and black circles that motherhood has bestowed upon me) I have always been told I have 'such a pretty, young, thin face... Well, I want to move past 'such a pretty, thin face' to a pretty thin me. I don't want people to just look at my face anymore. I want them to look at me as a whole package and go wow, she's pretty or beautiful or attractive or at least not repulsive and fat. This is one of my goals. I don't want to just be a 'pretty face', I want to be a 'pretty me'. ALL OF ME.

This is 1 pound of disgusting brown fat. I am 15 pounds down. 15 of these. That's disgusting and I am glad to be rid of it. 160 more of these to go, though. That's not daunting.

The Fat Chick

2 comments :

  1. You did great at McDonalds! And yes, I guessed around 160.

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  2. You did good at McDonalds :) My biggest problem is that I'm a milkshake addict, I just have to drive by a McDs to start thinking of a Chocolate-Strawberry mixed milkshake and I salivate all over my steering wheel [not literally, but almost.] So kudos on the restraint! I'm the only one making a lifestyle change in my house and I think they are going out of my way to torment me with their "bad" foods, lol

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