Saturday, February 27, 2010


Today I was told by my (ex) husband AND my mom that they just COULDN'T BELIEVE how much weight I'd lost. Rather, how much weight it LOOKS like I've lost. My ex left it at that but my mom went on to elaborate that I no longer look 'fat' but more just chunky.

Side note: My mom is overweight as well and I have no problem with her telling me I look huge, fat, horrile, ugly whatever. Just so no one furrows their brow and thinks, 'you're mom insinuated that she thought you were fat and you're okay with this?'

It made me feel good to hear this, as with these last few days of sick kids I have been less than diligent on meticulously counting calories. I haven't binged, or overeaten to any significant degree, I just haven't been careful either. So, now that today is over I have decided tomorrow I am recommitting myself to eating low cal, with a high cal day thrown in there to keep my metabolism guessing. As soon as my girls are well I'll be jumping out into the exercise world and I will lose at least 3 lbs this next Friday. I am determined to be 250 ( is that too big a goal ) by June 6th. Buzzy's 2nd birthday.

Tonight, long story short, Buzzy threw up all over me and I had to take an impromptu shower. I realized to my horror that I didn't have any clean underwear. Now, when I was 18 until I was about 22 I went commando 24/7. I think I owned 2 pair of underwear for TOM and that was it. So, it has been a good 2+ years since I have NOT worn underwear and sitting here in my jammies, with no panties makes me feel . . . wrong.

Especially being the size I am.

I wonder if in a year when I am at or close to my goal weight and if I get myself in the same situation if I will feel as icky going commando or if my new body and new self esteem will make it not that big a deal. Thoughts?

Time for shut eye.

The Fat Chick


  1. I don't think that 250 is too big of a goal. It's 44 pounds away and it gives you 14 weeks. If you lose about 3 pounds a week, you'll meet your goal :)

    I don't go commando myself. Since I've always been overweight, I never felt right doing it. With that said, I love sexy underwear. I exclusively wear Lane Bryant panties and 95% are lacy/silky/patterned boyshorts or hipsters. It always gives a confidence boost to me knowing that I have on sexy underwear when I go out ;) Just channel that inner hot chick mindset when you have to go commando :D

  2. What a beautiful thing sincere compliments are!

  3. lol....i used to sleep nude all the time but now even in the summer it feels wrong...i wonder when i do lose the weight if it will feel normal again...i don't know if its from the kids or whatever but i know being not happy with my body is a big factor....


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