Monday, February 15, 2010

I LOST MY PANTS

Okay, maybe not quite yet. But the way my jeans are fitting these days, they certainly feel as though they might fall off which is really an accomplishment, all things considered.

A typical day of getting dressed 2 months ago:


-Open closet
-Gag at the horrid selection in my wardrobe
-Touch the jeans I haven't worn in over 2 years
-Glance at the 5 pairs of black yoga pants that seem to have been my daily uniform from the time I started showing with Buzzy
- Touch the jeans I haven't worn in 2 years again
- Wonder if I tried them on if they'd fit
- Decide probably not
- Look back at the black yoga pants and sigh in exasperation
- Look back to the jeans
- Decide I'll try them
- Gently pull them off the hanger and pray silently that I'll be able to fit into them
- Step into one leg
- Step into the other
- Pull them up
- Oops, they're kinda tight around the hips
- Drag them up and over the fleshy roundness, feel the jean squeeze my skin together unnaturally
- Pray that if I lay down on the bed I'll be able to button and zip them
- Stiffly lie down on the bed and try to pull the two sides together
- No luck
- Try again
- No luck
- Suck it in
- Try again
- Get angry when I still can't get the button inside the hole
- Yank the button toward the hole and finally slip it through
- Yank at the zipper
- Suck it in
(I'm sweating profusely by now)
- Yank the stubborn zipper some more
- Pull the two sides of my jeans together and try to zip the zipper at the same time
- Accidentally zip my underwear into the zipper
- Gingerly pull the zipper back down only as far as it needs to go so as not to let it fly back to the starting position
- When underwear are free yank zipper upward, scraping the metal against my fingers painfully
- Finally zip the damn thing all the way
- Attempt to sit up
- Can't, pants too tight
- Roll over onto my stomach and stiffly extract myself from the bed
- Look at my ENORMOUS muffin top hanging over my too-tight jeans
- Wonder what I was thinking even trying to fit into them
- Ponder, wearing them just because it took so much effort to get them on
- Ultimately decide that breathing is more important than being stubborn
- Struggle to unbutton jeans
- Zipper flies back down so quickly I wanna cry
- Struggle to remove the jeans that are now molded to my skin
(Sweating profusely again)
-Grudgingly throw them into a pile on the closet floor and yank a pair of black yoga pants (that fit me when I was 9 months pregnant) from their hanger and pull them on angrily
-Go about my day feeling defeated


A typical day of getting dressed now:

-Open closet

-Gag at the horrid selection in my wardrobe

-Touch the jeans I haven't worn in over 2 years

-Glance at the 5 pairs of black yoga pants that seem to have been my daily uniform from the time I started showing with Buzzy

- Immediately forget the black yoga pants
- Pull jeans off hanger without second thought
- Pull them on
- Button them
- Zip them
- And hope they don't fall off


Unfortunately I do not have any BEFORE photos. At the time I would have been able to take BEFORE photos, you wouldn't have caught me dead within 100 yards of a camera unless I was behind it.

But I do have AFTER photos. Oh and I'd like to say right now that these are NOT stretch jeans. They are Lane Bryant size 28 flare legged jeans that have NO GIVE WHAT-SO-EVER. Look at all that space front to back and in the legs. The thighs of those jeans used to pinch my skin they were so tight and now look. Makes me feel so proud.







The Fat Chick

15 comments :

  1. It's SO good when jeans get loose! I nearly spat coffee all over my monitor when I read about the yoga pants! I bought 5 pairs from Long Tall Sally when I started to gain weight VERY early in my pregnancy, and I lived in them (quite literally!) until 5 months after she was born and I started losing enough weight to fit into other clothes... My partner HATED those yoga pants and we had a ritual burning of them in the garden once I could get back into jeans. :o)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOVED your post ... totally made me laugh nod in total "oh I have been there!" and smile.

    Kudos on the loose pants and here's to many more :)

    *reaches out to click proteinshake glasses in a toast*


    MizFit

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fantastic! I think our clothing is the best weight loss measurement tool. Always brutally honest! You're doing a wonderful job. Now throw those big girl jeans away because you will NEVER need them again!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well I am proud of you!

    See it does work, keep it going Baby!

    Secretia

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love it! Your doing great! Blessed be

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wonderful! Keep up the good work!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good for you!! That is so exciting! What great motivation!! :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. LMAO! Totally been there! So happy for you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. awesome evidence that you're kicking ass!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. wooohoo! Got to love getting lost in your jeans!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Way to go!!! I read this post thinking, "yeah, I did that. Yeah, I did that, too. Yeah, I still do that. AWW, MY PANTS ARE LOOSE, TOO! Yay, us!" hahaha Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. OMG congratulations! Best feeling in the world!!!! So happy for you!! Good job. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congratulations!!! Fitting back into your jeans is always solid proof that you've lost weight! yoga pants, dress pants...we can always make excuses "well, maybe they're just stretched out, that's why they're loose"..but not jeans! Those suckers tell us when we're fat, when we're thin, etc. Good work! Enjoy it!

    -Ava
    goodbyefatlife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. OHHHH HOT MAMA! :)
    time to throw those things OUT!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...