Sunday, March 28, 2010

I'M AN UGLY CUPCAKE


It's true. I am an ugly cupcake. In a society where beauty is besought in how thin you are, how tan you are, how shiny your hair is, how bold your eyes are, how white and straight your teeth are, how LITTLE hair you have on your body, how thick your lips are, how big your boobs are, how hard your abs are, how tight your butt is, how much makeup you wear and how well you wear it, etc. Where you must be a 'cupcake' to be accepted, I am but a muffin - an ugly cupcake.

I was born, raised and lived in Thousand Oaks, CA for 20 years of my life. This is 40 minutes from Los Angeles and only a short 10-50 minutes from every beach crawling with beautiful women. Thee most beautiful women. The thinnest, fittest, tannest, women with the best hair and the most beautiful white smiles with every inch of their bodies waxed. I lived there among the CUPCAKES. Among la creme de la creme. Hollywood at it's finest. The best bleach, lipo, botox, implants, collagen, enamel whiteners and fake n bake tanning booths could offer. But it didn't matter that they were fake. They were beautiful and I, a lowly muffin - an ugly cupcake lived among them.

Now that I live among other ugly cupcakes, cuz let's face it there ain't no place quite like LA, I see that all I was jealous of for 20 years, all I longed to be, all I coveted and dreamed about was artificial, superficial. What I wanted was deeper. I don't want to be A CUPCAKE. I don't want to be fake and falsely beautiful. I want to be the best I can be. And if that means that I have to be an UGLY CUPCAKE then so be it. Because after all . . . I like muffins better anyway.

K, that was cheesy. I know. It was inspired by a bout of baking my sister did today. She wanted to make bran muffins but we didn't have any more paper cups so she baked them instead with 0 cal pam baking spray. When they came out they were, well, not the prettiest things we ever saw or made and on top of that, with no paper cup holder they were NAKED! It has always been an ongoing joke with us that muffins are just ugly cupcakes but then we came up with this whole scenario of this Ugly Cupcake Nudist society (because the muffins had no paper holder) that we called Putchurmuffinsinabag <-- because that's what I slurred out mid sentence while saying something else completely off topic. Okay, maybe you had to be there. We are insane and only other insane people GET US. And other ugly cupcakes of course.

On another note, I 'biked' for 100 minutes today. That's 1760 calories in and 1745 calories out with a net intake of 15 cals. But, when I am done with this post I am going to watch a movie with my seester and pedal some more. I will definitely have a calorie deficit today. Oh, and as an unofficial weigh, I have already lost 3 of the 4lbs gained this last week. It was probably mostly water weight.

N, I think that just about does it my little Turtle Doves . . . <-- I love that nickname.

The Fat Chick

12 comments :

  1. Is it weird that though you speak of LA in a less than positive way, it still makes me miss it? Sounds like you had fun cooking with your sister. Good job on the "biking!" Keep it up!! :)

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  2. I think it's far far better to be a muffin than a superficial fake cupcake! I'd fail on all cupcake criteria too!

    I love the biking you invented! I think it's great that you're not letting your foot problems stop you working out, and that you're finding new, innovative ways to fit exercise into a very busy lifestyle! Keep up the fantastic work!

    Oh, and I loved the pic of your little ones in the shopping cart the other day - so so cute!

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  3. Oooh, I just looked at your stats and you're nearly 1/4 of the way there, girly! Keep this up and in just around a year from now you could be at goal!!! How's that for motivation?! x

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  4. Don't worry sweetie I prefere being an ugly cupcake too....congradulations on the increased movement you should be really proud of yourself

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  5. I never thought of a muffin being an ugly cupcake until now. It is such an interesting correlation. I prefer muffins anyways, especially blueberry muffins.

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  6. I left you an award on my blog doll

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  7. 100 mins that impressive :)

    ps Im having a giveaway check it out.

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  8. I got to say, I'll take a ugly cupcake/muffin over a 'pretty' cupcake any day.

    Good on ya for biking 100min. As "M" stated...that's impressive!

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  9. hear ye hear ye.. I would much rather be part of the ugly cupcake club.. you should make a badge for that lol

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  10. I absolutely love this post. I will never look at muffins or cupcakes the same way :)

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  11. I just found your blog! I love it!!!! Congrats on your weight loss so far!

    -Alexis
    http://alexisswenson.blogspot.com/

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