Thursday, March 18, 2010

NARCISSISM - FAT OR SKINNY?

I don't know about you all but I have always been a bit narcissistic. Up until I gave birth to Breezely (and for those who don't read my blog regularly, that is my 2nd daughter who is now 7.5 months old) I was quite 'into myself'. I took pictures of myself on a regular basis and always believed that God 'allowed' me to be fat because if I wasn't fat I'd be the frickin' most narcissistic person on the planet.

Come to find out, I just needed to be knocked down a few notches by getting up above 300lbs, growing multiple chins and then almost reaching 400lbs at my heaviest. Yikes! (Granted I was 9 months pregnant at my heaviest, but still - that was a seriously low point on the self-confidence scale)

Now that I am back down to a weight where I once was the QUEEN OF NARCISSISM I find I am no longer so into myself. Maybe my humility level has risen, maybe I have matured, or maybe I'm scared to let my confidence get too high again for fear it'll be knocked down to ground level. Or maybe it's a mix of the three.

In any case, today I am a different person. I hope my narcissistic self does not return when I am at my thinnest in the coming year. Because I WILL BE THE THINNEST I HAVE EVER BEEN in the coming year. 2011 won't know what hit it.

In any case, to show you just how vain I really was (and yes, a portion of this is to show off how nice I can look at lower weights) I am going to post some photos of myself. Mind you, these photos were taken by me. I put my makeup on, did my hair and snapped pics of myself for fun. ((sigh-shakes head in mild disgust at old self))

In no particular order at no particular weight but definitely all under 280:


^^^This is my Gangsta look that says, I lived in LA. I KNOW BADASS^^^ ^^^ My, 'aren't I cute in my cheap-o sunglasses' look^^^


Same look, different pose.

I hate lived in Mexico for 6 months here and was around 260 lbs


Goin all Sailor Moon


I literally thought my shit smelled of roses in this picture

Yep, my poopoo kaka still smells beautiful here too.

And this is where the narcissism ends.
FOR NOW.
The Fat Chick
(Not the Narcissistic Chick)

9 comments :

  1. Beautiful pictures... use them for motivation to remind you of where you are headed. :)

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  2. You are good looking, and soon you'll have the youthful body to go with your pretty face :)

    Secretia

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  3. Dude. Maybe your aren't Narcissa. Maybe you are just a hot, sexy mama. Enjoy your photos. Celebrate them.

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  4. In a world where too many people hate their reflection and think they're ugly...I think your "narcissism" is refreshing. I think it's wonderful that you like yourself and how you look! Keep working on that weight loss and love your look again!

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  5. What everyone here said! Especially Noelle!

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  6. You look lovely!

    I'm a lurker. I found your blog through Confessions of a +Sized Girl. And this post is SO ME. I was really into myself when I was in my early 20s (I'm 32 now). I was a size 4, I was getting compliments left and right, I was young and in love with my face! AND to top it off I was a snob about it. I worked part-time at Nordstrom and looked it! Then, I got into a bad relationship, got my heart broken a couple times, gained 40 or so lb, and my humility surfaced. I, too, think that sometimes God made me imperfect so that I would stop looking at and judging others' imperfections. So that I would gain empathy and understanding and tolerance. Now that I've gotten back in shape (in better shape healthwise than when I was young and full of myself), I don't think I'm so hot anymore. I'm more humble. Less cocky. Do I miss thinking I'm the s***? Yes. I miss being that young and naive! Do I think that I learned a heck of a lot in the last 12 years? Absolutely. God works in mysterious ways.

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  7. Beautiful. There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding yourself gorgeous! :) Great motivator if you ask me....

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  8. I found your blog through another one and I really found your pictures great. You are a very pretty girl and soon you will have a body to go with the face. Keepup the good work..

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  9. I only wish I ever felt that way about myself!!

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