Monday, March 8, 2010

OFF TOPIC, TMI ALERT & I'M TOO SMOOTH

Warning: This post is slightly off topic as in non-weight related. It will contain information many (probably of the XY chromosomes) will probably not want to read. In case you don't quite catch my drift: MEN THIS IS ABOUT MY PERIODS SO IF YOU AREN'T PREPARED FOR BLOOD AND GUTS (OKAY NO GUTS) BUT BLOOD THAN MOVE ON TO A DIFFERENT BLOG NOW.

Okay, so in my last post I had informed you all that my back hurts and I didn't know if it was from my botched spinal and I also mentioned that my period has lasted for 4 weeks. Fun right? No, not really. But my doctor has prescribed a low dose mini pill for me to take so I can have shorter more regulated periods. YAY! That rocks!

In any case I received a few comments that I would like to address.

Grace - Yes, it was an ENORMOUS RAISED BRUISE from the same day my spinal was given. Now, 7 months later it is a series of raised little bumps (invisible to the naked eye) that you can feel when you run your finger over the space. The bumps are scar tissue from where the anesthesiologist attempted to place the spinal.

Kristy - I have been tested for endo and I do not have it. Well, okay I have a bit here and there but anyone who has any scarring on their uterus has a smidgen. I've also had my iron levels checked and I'm not currently anemic (though I was just after the birth) Thank you for the great idea and suggestion. Unfortunately, (and fortunately) that avenue has been looked out and checked off as A-OK.

And this is where I pause to stand on a soap box and pretend like I KNOW IT ALL. A lot of you commented that you also had had 'epi's'. I did not have an epidural. I had a spinal. I had an epidural with my first daughter and it was so awesome. Just in case you were wondering, the difference between an epidural and a spinal is this. An epidural is meant to last long periods of time so a catheter is places between the vertebrae to allow a constant flow of meds. Therefore the needle that threads the catheter does not need to be inserted very far. A spinal is used for a short period of time (as in during a c-section) and the needle has to be inserted deeper into the spine and between specific nerves to numb the patient correctly.

Tangent story - During my spinal from HELL the anesthesiologist did something and hit a nerve in my spine. It felt as though something popped in my back and as though the pop burst fluid and the fluid fell on my leg and began to burn the hell out of my leg. I started screaming! Get it off!! My leg is on fire! Get it off!! Well in reality, nothing popped, nothing burst and there was no fluid and no fire. He had hit a nerve that sent a message to my brain telling me that my thigh was burning (like it was literally being melted away by acid) it was AWFUL!!

Done standing on my soap box now.

Diane - You just turned on a light bulb over my head. ((insert cheesy cartoon light bulb popping on over my head here)) I so DO NOT drink enough water and that is probably why my skin is so dry. Thank you for bringing that to light. DUUUHHH! I totally should have thought of that.

And last but not least,

The Fat Vegan (I hate calling you that but I can't find your name anywhere) - Anyway thank you for telling me about the DIVA CUP (for all women who are sick of tampons and pads click HERE. This totally rocks and I am so gonna get one and try it!! ** Even though it is a green product and as you all know I am soooo anti-green.) <-- In case you don't understand this - purple is the color opposite of green on the color wheel. Trivial info. I know, I'm full of it.


I'M TOO SMOOTH
Another AMAZING story of Idiot Girl

So, tonight I cooked. I made honey-ginger crusted chicken (123 calories per breast) chicken flavored rice and broccoli (my mom steamed the broccoli - I can never do it right) It was decent but not the best thing I've ever cooked. Anyway, before I began cooking I found a blue glass baking pan and I wasn't sure if it was really something you could put in the oven. So, I took it into my mom's bathroom where she was scrubbing her toilet and began to ask her if I could put it in the oven.



Everything happened very quickly. I had been holding the glass pan by its handle and raised it quickly to show her. I opened my mouth and managed to utter the words, 'hey mom can . . .' and somehow (not quite sure how) I managed to smash the heavy glass straight into my mouth. Immediately there was blood running over my lips. I stood there in shock and then pain. My mom thought I knocked a tooth out. Thank God I didn't. But now I have an unsightly blood blister across my two front teeth. NIIIIICEEE!! No not nice... SMOOOTH!! Oh yeah, I'm just toooo smooth!




One last little observation on my part of my own 'retardedness' (I hope the word doesn't offend anyone. I am in no way lessening or making light of real and true mental handicaps) 3 posts ago, I used NSV in the title regarding my 10% goal of weight loss having been met. I received about 10,001 questions asking me what NSV means. For those I did not answer or who didn't know but didn't ask either, it means 'NON SCALE VICTORY'. Now, if you're still confused I don't blame you. Here is where my retardedness comes into play. Reaching a 10% total loss of my starting weight IS NOT A NON SCALE VICTORY. It is very much a SCALE VICTORY! I'm such and idiot. I swear.

And with that I think this post is long enough. Goodnight blog world. I am off to sleepy sleepy land where hopefully tomorrow the neurons in my brain will connect better. Not likely but my hope lives strong!!

The Fat Chick

2 comments :

  1. You're doing it, you are losing your fat. Nothing else matters, just don't put it back on. You can be happy as a thinner person.

    Secretia

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like saying r-tard. Haha, I heard it on South Park.

    ReplyDelete

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