Sunday, April 11, 2010


I'm sure that by looking at the photo to the left and given the title of this post you are intrigued and maybe slightly appalled by my taste in words/images. You see, today I spent almost all afternoon with my ass in the air. Granted, it looked NOTHING like the silhouette to the left. Noooo, if I looked like that I may have thought twice or thrice about leaving my derriere exposed the way I did. Alas, I was doing nothing as exciting or provocative or slutty as the words and the picture imply. No. In fact I was doing something downright boring. Something I never thought I would be caught dead doing... GARDENING!?!?! Picking weeds with my big ol booty sticking up for everyone who walked or drove by to see. I'm sure my BIG BUTT - and the size 28 jeans that are waaay too BIG for it and kept sliding down exposing my granny panties - was the topic of conversation for passerby. I mean, who doesn't snicker at a lady in her garden with her ass all hanging out of her pants and she doesn't even seem to care. I know if I saw sumthin like that I sure as heck would have somethin to say.

SO, Why was I in the garden weeding? You ask...

Well, today I had had about all I could take of Buzzy's tantrums. I was about to lose it. So, when my mom and stepdad said they were going to be spending the day in the yard I nearly collapsed in despair at the thought that I would be stuck alone with my mouthy, defiant toddler. I KNOW I KNOW, I'M A WIMP!! ((hangs head in despair)) But then a light bulb - no, rather a canon shot itself off in my head. They could watch Buzzy and Breezely and I WOULD DO THEIR GARDENING. WHAT?!?!?! DID I JUST OFFER TO GARDEN? ME??? WTF??? But subconsciously my brain told me, mom doesn't much care for gardening anyway and she was having a hard time motivating herself to get out there in the first place. So, when I suggested my solution both my mom and stepdad were overwhelmingly accepting.

AND SO I WEEDED. AND WEEDED AND WEEDED. I OFFICIALLY HATE WEEDS. BUT, I am proud to say in addition to the 1200+ calories I burned in the 2.5+ hours of weeding I also learned I am no longer nature-phobic. Before my babies I was considered anti-nature. I didn't go outside for any reason except to get to my car and my destinations were NEVER outside.

Now, things have changed. I no longer fear bugs the way I used to. Although today the carpenter ants were on the rampage and as I weeded I would smush them as they tried to scale my pants and shoes. In my mind the background music was the same as in the movie OFFICE SPACE when they massacre the copy machine/printer-whatever it was. Those lyrics are stated on the snapshot of the movie. Yes, I think it was appropriate.

Nikki posed a good question in one of her comments today. It was (in regards to rewarding oneself with food) How do you guys get past that?

My answer: This may sound annoyingly cliche but it's true. FOR ME I had to WANT to get past it. In the beginning it was MUCH MUCH more difficult than it is now. In the beginning I had to argue with myself. I lost 10lbs the week I started this journey and I won't lie. I rewarded myself with food. Problem is, I don't remember what I ate. If I had bought something tangible or at least permanent and not something that I would be flushing down the toilet within the next 12 hours I may have remembered what I awarded myself with, for that first big drop. I know I rewarded myself the 2nd and 3rd time with food as well and likewise, I can't for the life of me remember what it was I ate. Now-a-days, I don't think of food as a reward. It is a source of energy to keep me awake, energized and healthy. Of course, I still indulge in things. Who doesn't but I do it when I am in a particular mood for something not to reward myself.

An example of my indulgences?

I had 8 (COUNT EM 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) Special Dark GIANT Chocolate Hershey bars in my fridge (cuz they taste better and last longer cold) In the beginning of this journey I would have rewarded myself with an entire bar, or 2 or 3 after losing even 1lb. Now, on any given day (and ONLY 1X A DAY) I break off a portion size (5 blocks=180 cals) when the desire attacks and suck on those. Craving satisfied and not because I was rewarding myself but because I simply wanted chocolate.

Google defines a reward as such:
a recompense for worthy acts . . . -
an act performed to strengthen approved behavior
reinforce: strengthen and support with rewards
act or give recompense in recognition of someone's behavior or actions

You CANNOT compensate, strengthen, reinforce, support much less recognize your efforts of weight loss through rewarding yourself with food.

I guess if you put it in terms of addiction it MIGHT make MORE sense.

What do you think of when you think of addiction?

Most people will say, ALCOHOL, DRUGS, CIGARETTES and some might say FOOD.

Take an alcoholic who has made the oath of no more drink. At the week's end, the month's end, the 6 month marker, the year marker or 10 years down the road when he hasn't had a drink he by no means REWARDS HIMSELF with A DRINK.

Same goes for a druggie or someone who has a nicotine addiction (whether it be cigarettes, dip, whatever) When the person swears off that habit, they do not reward their ability to stop WITH THE SAME BAD HABIT.

Same goes for eating. Healthy eating. NOT DIETING. It's a bit trickier with food as you can't completely swear it off, BUT YOU CAN SWEAR OFF GLUTTONY. Healthy eating means good food choices, conservative portions and the occasional 'indulgence'. NOT REWARD. If you want chocolate, have a portion of chocolate but not because you just lost 5lbs. If you want to reward yourself, make it worth it. Go get a fun new gadget or a new piece of clothing/makeup/perfume/hair accessories/jewelry... HELL GO BUY A PET. But don't reward the results of your good habits by digressing to your bad ones.

Nice, now that I've gone and preached a sermon on not rewarding yourself with food, I think I'll step OFF MY SOAPBOX NOW. ((deep breath)) Sorry about that. Apparently, I am feeling passionate about this new stuff my brain keeps discovering. I apologize if my overload overwhelms anyone. Now I am off to sleep. I am making Tinga tomorrow and oh man. I have to see the EX. My sweet dreams just flew out the window with that realization. UGH!

The Fat Chick


  1.'d rather pick weeds. Great burn though...
    Yeah it was a process for me as well...but in time, the need to stuff your face full of crap lessens. I had a wonderful parenting fail related to gardening...At my biggest (size 24) I was out front big butt hangin in the air...when a carload of little douchbags go by and hoot and say whoohoo baby...
    I am not fooled that they like their girls big.
    So my temper got the best of me and I flipped them the bird and yelled f*ck front of my twelve year old (lol, you should have SEEN her face). Bad moment...I try to keep my temper these days.

  2. i can't believe u'd rather pick weeds, lol. love the rest of the post. Had a similar incident happen last week as i went for my walk people reacted to my size 26 butt, and i can't say it didn't affect me. it's not flattering for people to point out the very object you are trying to reduce....ugh! anyway, good for you for not caring, and hopefully the people who saw you didn't even mind. lol. K.

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  4. My rewards are all pampering in nature - every 5 lbs my girlfriends and I go out to celebrate with manicures and pedicures and every 10 lbs I either treat myself to a massage or something new and cute... typically something that I wont lose when I get smaller, cute shoes, earrings, a new bag. This morning I was 172.5... I cant wait to get to 170 because I desperately need a pedicure! And this 10 lbs will equal a massage for me!

    My previous failures at losing weight, I took rewards a different route... typically involving food, typically involving food, drinks and out with friends or my husband. The bigger the lose that week the more I enjoyed myself... surprise surprise the next week wasnt so good and eventually I failed and gained a ton!

  5. I'd rather pick weeds too.

    I heard comments today when I was at the gym pedalling my size 22 ass into oblivion. I smiled, and kept pedalling. I might be fat, but they're assholes and will never change.

    Great post!

  6. This was your best post I ever read. Swearing off gluttony is the real deal. Way to get your butt out there in the yard and do some work too.

  7. I pulled weeds yesterday too and I know my butt was unattractively sticking up in the air for all the neighbors. My strategy when doing something I know I could be mocked for because of my size (weed pulling, jogging in public) is to always have my ipod loud enough that I can't hear the mocking. I can remain oblivious.... except for the one time I was dumb enough to pull my ear buds off because the cute little 5 year old girl was trying to say something to me. I pulled them off and got told "You are really slow. See you later slow poke". Taught me to not even fall for the cute and innocent look ones :) :) :)

  8. I started picking my weeds the other day and I got pissed off... so I am going to do the un-Earth-friendly thing and spray WEED-B-GONE on them today.

    I am an addict - and food is my addiction. I actually just wrote about it on my blog the other day... I know plenty of drug addicts and alcoholics and I go through the same struggles with food. But you're right... they don't reward themselves with their drug of choice and neither should we.

    Thanks for this post.

  9. I remember when my kids were at that age. I would have rather endured bamboo shoots under my nails some days.

    I am with you on the gluttony. I am an emotional eater and this was a topic on my blog today. i just have to remind my self that I deserve to be healthy. It is hard some days but I try.

  10. I love this post...
    I would have rather had the break and really milked out how long it took weeding as well!

    I find it so hard with food, because, let's face it. We can't ignore it. Alcoholics can stay away from bars, liquor stores. But we need food to live! Thanks for all the ideas guys!
    I am a student in Massage Therapy, and starting 2 weeks I will be in clinical and getting a massage 2 times a week. I have decided to put my counseling degree on hold.
    I think that I will give massages to ppl trying to lose weight at a discount for rewards...


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