SO, Why was I in the garden weeding? You ask...
Well, today I had had about all I could take of Buzzy's tantrums. I was about to lose it. So, when my mom and stepdad said they were going to be spending the day in the yard I nearly collapsed in despair at the thought that I would be stuck alone with my mouthy, defiant toddler. I KNOW I KNOW, I'M A WIMP!! ((hangs head in despair)) But then a light bulb - no, rather a canon shot itself off in my head. They could watch Buzzy and Breezely and I WOULD DO THEIR GARDENING. WHAT?!?!?! DID I JUST OFFER TO GARDEN? ME??? WTF??? But subconsciously my brain told me, mom doesn't much care for gardening anyway and she was having a hard time motivating herself to get out there in the first place. So, when I suggested my solution both my mom and stepdad were overwhelmingly accepting.
AND SO I WEEDED. AND WEEDED AND WEEDED. I OFFICIALLY HATE WEEDS. BUT, I am proud to say in addition to the 1200+ calories I burned in the 2.5+ hours of weeding I also learned I am no longer nature-phobic. Before my babies I was considered anti-nature. I didn't go outside for any reason except to get to my car and my destinations were NEVER outside.
Now, things have changed. I no longer fear bugs the way I used to. Although today the carpenter ants were on the rampage and as I weeded I would smush them as they tried to scale my pants and shoes. In my mind the background music was the same as in the movie OFFICE SPACE when they massacre the copy machine/printer-whatever it was. Those lyrics are stated on the snapshot of the movie. Yes, I think it was appropriate.
Nikki posed a good question in one of her comments today. It was (in regards to rewarding oneself with food) How do you guys get past that?
My answer: This may sound annoyingly cliche but it's true. FOR ME I had to WANT to get past it. In the beginning it was MUCH MUCH more difficult than it is now. In the beginning I had to argue with myself. I lost 10lbs the week I started this journey and I won't lie. I rewarded myself with food. Problem is, I don't remember what I ate. If I had bought something tangible or at least permanent and not something that I would be flushing down the toilet within the next 12 hours I may have remembered what I awarded myself with, for that first big drop. I know I rewarded myself the 2nd and 3rd time with food as well and likewise, I can't for the life of me remember what it was I ate. Now-a-days, I don't think of food as a reward. It is a source of energy to keep me awake, energized and healthy. Of course, I still indulge in things. Who doesn't but I do it when I am in a particular mood for something not to reward myself.
(THE REWARD OF THE NUMBERS DROPPING ON THE SCALE AND THE SIZE OF MY CLOTHES SHRINKING IS ENOUGH OF A REWARD FOR ME)
An example of my indulgences?
I had 8 (COUNT EM 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) Special Dark GIANT Chocolate Hershey bars in my fridge (cuz they taste better and last longer cold) In the beginning of this journey I would have rewarded myself with an entire bar, or 2 or 3 after losing even 1lb. Now, on any given day (and ONLY 1X A DAY) I break off a portion size (5 blocks=180 cals) when the desire attacks and suck on those. Craving satisfied and not because I was rewarding myself but because I simply wanted chocolate.
Google defines a reward as such:
a recompense for worthy acts . . . -
an act performed to strengthen approved behavior
reinforce: strengthen and support with rewards
act or give recompense in recognition of someone's behavior or actions
You CANNOT compensate, strengthen, reinforce, support much less recognize your efforts of weight loss through rewarding yourself with food.
I guess if you put it in terms of addiction it MIGHT make MORE sense.
What do you think of when you think of addiction?
Most people will say, ALCOHOL, DRUGS, CIGARETTES and some might say FOOD.
Take an alcoholic who has made the oath of no more drink. At the week's end, the month's end, the 6 month marker, the year marker or 10 years down the road when he hasn't had a drink he by no means REWARDS HIMSELF with A DRINK.
Same goes for a druggie or someone who has a nicotine addiction (whether it be cigarettes, dip, whatever) When the person swears off that habit, they do not reward their ability to stop WITH THE SAME BAD HABIT.
Same goes for eating. Healthy eating. NOT DIETING. It's a bit trickier with food as you can't completely swear it off, BUT YOU CAN SWEAR OFF GLUTTONY. Healthy eating means good food choices, conservative portions and the occasional 'indulgence'. NOT REWARD. If you want chocolate, have a portion of chocolate but not because you just lost 5lbs. If you want to reward yourself, make it worth it. Go get a fun new gadget or a new piece of clothing/makeup/perfume/hair accessories/jewelry... HELL GO BUY A PET. But don't reward the results of your good habits by digressing to your bad ones.
Nice, now that I've gone and preached a sermon on not rewarding yourself with food, I think I'll step OFF MY SOAPBOX NOW. ((deep breath)) Sorry about that. Apparently, I am feeling passionate about this new stuff my brain keeps discovering. I apologize if my overload overwhelms anyone. Now I am off to sleep. I am making Tinga tomorrow and oh man. I have to see the EX. My sweet dreams just flew out the window with that realization. UGH!
The Fat Chick