Thursday, April 8, 2010

UGLY CUPCAKES & FUN WITH TELEMARKETERS

First, and foremost before I say ANYTHING ELSE:



Tomorrow is D-Day my Ugly Cupcakes. Please make sure to have your ending weight to me (at sugarypunkin48@netzero.com) by 8PM PST.



The WINNER will be posted the evening of Friday, April 9th PST.




Second, The Ugly Cupcake Society's 2nd Challenge is this:





Remember those pictures I posted in THIS BLOG POST? Try out what I did in each. Do them every day this week. (I don't need proof you did them every day but the end result will be better if you do unless you can already do them easily - and in that case all the better for you) The ultimate goal here is to 'mimic' me. I posted 7 photos in various positions doing various stretches. To enter to win this challenge you will send me 7 photos of yourself 'mimicking me' and the person who best 'mimics me' wins!! (And gets some good stretchin)



FYI- There COULD potentially be two winners!



Challenge begins Friday, April 9th and ends Friday, April 16th. All challengers must submit their 7 photos by 8PM on April 16th PST to be eligible. There are no other requirements for this challenge.







Third:



Since I failed my own NO SCALE CHALLENGE, I will be weighing in tomorrow. Wish me luck. I've done really well since my 4 day binge fest over Easter weekend. I hope it shows on the scale. I'd like to have lost at least 1lb so I can say I've lost a solid 40lbs. That 39 has been haunting me for 3 weeks!!





















Fourth, do YOU like to have fun with telemarketers/bill collectors/etc?





This has nothing to do with weight but I thought I'd throw it in. My sister and I really do enjoy messing with telemarketers/bill collectors and anyone who might make the mistake of dialing the wrong number! You see, I speak Spanish and my sister speaks Japanese. Living in Washington State it is rare you speak to anyone who speaks English correctly, let alone two DIFFERENT languages CORRECTLY (and yes I'm bitter but that's another post entirely) Anyhoo, we receive our fair share of telemarketing and bill collecting phone calls in this house and so she and I trade off answering the phones.









An example of when I answer the phone:





Me: Bueno? (Hello)





Marketer/collector: Is so and so available?

((They couldn't care less that I answer in another language))





Me: Disculpa, no entiendo. No hablo Ingles. (Sorry, I don't understand. I don't speak English)





Marketer/collector in a much slower louder voice: IS SO AND SO AVAILABLE?

((Yes, because raising your voice and drawing out the words unintelligibly is going to help me understand better a language I am pretending not to know))





Me: Quien? (who?)





Marketer/collector in long drawn out syllables and nearly yelling in my ear: DOOOOO YOOOUUUU SPEEEAAAKKKKK EEEEENGGGLLIIIIIIISSHHHH?



Me: No hablo Ingles. (I don't speak English)





Marketer/collector: Does anyone in the house speak English?

((If I just said I don't speak it, and you understood that and even if you didn't understand that it is assumed by the idea that I'm not answering you IN ENGLISH than why ask another dumbass question in English?? As if I'm suddenly going to understand!!))





Me: No te entiendo. (I don't understand you)



Marketer/collector who is becoming mildly exasperated: Hablo espanol?

(The idiot just asked me if S/HE spoke Spanish and I want to say 'are you friggin' kidding me?' even though I know s/he is trying to ask me if I speak Spanish... well uh, no shit sherlock)



Me: Si, hablo espanol.





Marketer/collector attempts to calm down and try again: Poder Hablo so and so? (To be able I talk so and so?)

((Good question... CAN YOU??))





Me: No la conosco (I don't know her)





Marketer/collector completely exasperated now: What?!





Me: Mande? (what?)





Marketer/collector in an extremely loud, overly drawn out tone: Soooooo and Soooooo. I waaaaaaannnnnttt to speeeeaakkkkkk with soooooo and soooooo.

((SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, if it didn't work last time, what makes you think it'll work now, genius?))





Me: Todos queremos algo. (We all want something)





Marketer/collector now annoyed beyond get out and isn't even trying to hide it: Will she be available soon?

((Nope, but I'm available all day and all night. How long do you want to drag this out?))





Me: Mande? (what?)





Marketer/collector obviously defeated: I'll try back later.

((Apparently, your patience is waning and I was just beginning to enjoy myself!))





Me: Bye!





My sister who speaks Japanese generally goes along the same lines except I don't speak Japanese. All I know is she answers the phone 'Moshi Moshi' and the conversation ensues.





The funny thing is though, that recently we have been getting a lot of calls with SPANISH SPEAKING operators and most of them are bill collectors. The other day it surprised me when I said 'Bueno?' and the person answered me in Spanish. I was almost taken aback and yet it was refreshing. All I had to say simply was 'No la conosco' (I don't know her) and the person said they would take our number off the call list. LOL Nice! I do have to admit it's much more fun to mess with people though.



LASTLY, I WANT JENNIFER ANISTON'S LEGS!!






The Fat Chick

4 comments :

  1. lmao...My mom kept getting calls from a phone company who wanted her to switch. She kept saying no, they kept calling...
    so finally, as i am visiting one day, I pick up.
    Me: Hello, Sharon Lofton's office speaking, how may I direct your call?
    Them: May I speak to Mrs. Lofton please.
    Me: I am sorry sir, Mrs. lofton is out of the country on business...but she wished for me to convey to you her wish that you stop these harassing phone calls or she will have to contact her attorney
    Them: What?!
    Me: She has requested on numerous occasions that you cease and desist. She has also requested you remove her name and number from your call list. If you do not do so, we shall be obliged to file a complaint.
    Them: Well, I wasn't told this! I will most certainly remove her name from all future lists.
    Me: Thank you, that is much appreciated.

    The look on my mom's face was priceless..nobody wants to deal with attorneys.

    She never got another call.
    My daughter likes to answer the phone to telemarketers and ask them if they know jesus...that always drives them off.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LMAO!!!!

    I also play games with telemarketers, despite having been one myself at one stage. I quite often tell them that, unfortunately, so and so died this morning... that usually does the job.

    Yeah, I'd love Jennifer Aniston's legs too. In fact, her entire body would be great. I'd be more than happy to forsake my huge breasts (that my husband worships) for her body!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those legs are only looking that way due to the heels. I dislike those telemarketers immensely.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good luck with your weigh in :)

    ReplyDelete

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