*For those who haven't entered my Salad Marathon Challenge yet, scrounge up your fave salad recipe (any kind of salad ie: tuna, chicken, oriental, Greek, fruit, or regular 'ol lettuce - anything) and send it in to me. You can find a list of places you can send the recipe HERE.
Ever since I asked my Ex not to bother me anymore (and he hasn't - thank God!) I have felt newly inspired in every aspect of my life. Eating well - Exercising - writing in my book with more zest - writing in my blog with more enthusiasm - enjoying my girls - living life - EVERYTHING!! It is just so liberating to not feel overwhelmed and burdened by someone's control over me. The freedom I feel is astounding. And no, I don't mean the freedom of being able to date (because I don't want to) and I don't mean the freedom of the obligation of being a wife (being a wife wasn't so bad. It's when the definition of wife turned into doormat is when things changed) No, rather it is a freedom of being allowed to express myself how I want to in any way I want to. I can say what I want to say because there is no fear of a language barrier to misunderstand my words and use them against me. I don't have to try to make anyone understand what I'm trying to say because it is simply understood. Oh how I LOVE the English language. I love Spanish too but I have fallen a slave to it for so long that it isn't as beautiful as it once was to me. Also, regarding expressing myself, if I want to get a tattoo (which may be one of my weight loss rewards) I won't have to worry about him calling me a prostitute. If I want to pierce my nose, I won't have to worry about him telling me how ugly it looks just because he doesn't want HIS
*I will never forget one day when I was 6 months pregnant with Buzzy and my boobs were seriously engorged and all my shirts were V necks. I dressed for the day and felt good about myself and my bump. Dare I say I felt pretty. But then he came in the room and ruined it all, telling me I was his wife and soon to be mother and I didn't need to go around looking like a whore. He then proceeded to tell me that he could see my nipples (hello, I'm 6 months pregnant!) through my shirt and I needed to change my bra to a padded one so no one could see them. He asked me what my daughter would think if she saw me like that and did I want to give her that kind of example to look up to. (Mind you, my boobs were well concealed inside my shirt - just the top cleavage part was visible)
Now, I don't have to worry about that. Hell, I can go bare my boobs, nipples and all if I want to - and get fined for indecent exposer. LOL Nah, but seriously. I just feel like I'm my own person now. The only person I have to answer to is me and the only people I have to take care of are my girls and myself.
I love that I feel motivated to eat well. I feel so healthy and energetic when I am eating well.
Tangent - Why isn't eating well habit forming like eating crap?!?! I just don't get it. My body SHOULD CRAVE ALL THIS HEALTHY FOOD BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. Not the shit that makes me feel like, well, shit!- End Tangent
I love love love LOVE my Lateral Thigh Trainer. No jarring impact like walking or running and a huge workout. Think a mix between a stair stepper and an elliptical. This thing rocks and kicks my ass! Yet it's easy!
Oh, now that I think about it, I suppose I should touch on my weigh in this morning. 277. That's 2lb gain from last week but I was expecting it after my stress induced binges. NO MORE OF THOSE and I have stopped my planned Friday binges too. They just aren't necessary.
My ending calorie intake for today was a little over 1300 calories. It's amazing how easy it is when I set my mind to it. When I don't make excuses or allow myself to justify 'just one bite'. I eat 3 meals with 1 or 2 small snacks and staying under 1500 calories is almost ridiculously easy. It's when I allow myself just that one bite of a cookie, or just five chips; that is when I feel the need to throw in the towel. I have finally learned it is OK to tell myself NO.
In fact I have found myself arguing with myself like a small child these past two days.
The Fat Chick: I'm hungry
The Healthy Chick: You just ate. You aren't hungry. Find something else to do.
The Fat Chick: No! I am hungry. I'm just gonna have 100 calories worth of something.
The Healthy Chick: You will regret 100 calories of something you think you need but don't even
really want. Leave the cupboard alone. There's nothing in there worth eating.
The Fat Chick: How do you know? We haven't looked in over an hour.
The Healthy Chick: Because nothing has been bought in that hour. The same foods are still in there and none of it is worth 100 calories when you aren't even hungry!
The Fat Chick: But I am!
The Healthy Chick: No.You.Are.Not!
-Buzzy interjects requesting to take a walk in her push car.
The Fat Chick: Tell her that MAYBE you'll take her if you feel like it after you eat something and make sure you eat it where she can't see you, otherwise she'll want some and I don't want to share.
The Healthy Chick: I'll take her now and you can sit down and shut up about it. This body is going for a walk and there's not a thing you can do about it!
Yep, that's just about exactly what goes on inside my nutty little brain. I hope as the weight comes off the Fat Chick will rear her fat mouth less and less. Then when I am under 175lbs (or in approximately 100 more pounds) I am going to change my blog name to The Healthy Chick Weigh. I choose 175lbs to change the name because that is when my BMI officially leaves the OBESE ranks.
Okay, my thoughts are suddenly floundering all over the place. So before I confuse you and myself thoroughly I will say goodnight. I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend. I can't believe August is almost here! Feels like summer just began. Then again going into fall is my favorite time of year. Okay, there I go rambling again. Goodnight all!
The Fat Chick