Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A VIEW FROM A READER - TOLERANCE

I received this beautiful nugget of wisdom from one of my readers after my small (because I certainly could have made it bigger) rant on being politically correct. *Oddly enough the person who was so kind as to give me such straight forward and solid opinions of myself had to hind behind a single vowel ‘A’ without a profile or blog linking to them for me to go to, to thank them. So I suppose I will do that here.

THANK YOU A.

For those of you who are not inclined to go back into the history of my blog and find A’s comment I will happily post it here so that you too might be informed of his/her (probably her?) opinion of me. It is truly eye opening. (smile)

Okay, so I started reading your blog because I thought it was about weight loss. (It's not. It's about your trainwreck of a life.) And here's what I've learned:

You're a miserable, sad, single, fat woman with two already fat kids and a pending divorce. You don't seem to have an income or a hope of an income, since you're always asking someone else to pay your bills. You want to be a writer, but your writing on here is subpar at best. You're scared of things that are different or that challenge anything outside your tiny world. You're especially angry at those nasty "liberals" who do nasty things like stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves. (Heaven forbid you ever need any kind of assistance with childcare or food, since I'm sure you'd not take up such a "liberal handout.")

And, according to your post, it's okay for me to say all these things because that's the reality. Don't blame me. I'm just telling you what I see, and that's my right. Right? I just call it like I see it.

PS: If you are "Jesus following" or whatever you put up there in your incoherent list of attributes, you might ask yourself how Jesus would approach being "PC." Would he use a term used to describe people with a medical condition to mean "stupid"? Would Jesus even call someone stupid? Prolly not. Jesus might take the high road and display his anger with grace and kindness.

Good luck to you. For the sake of your children, I hope you get your life straightened out sooner rather than later.

So, you started reading my blog because you thought it was about weight loss. HERE’S A SECRET: IT IS!

And yes, it is also about my train wreck of a life. Thank you for that chicken nugget of wisdom. You then proceed to call me miserable and sad (why, yes I am a lot of the time – THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS) single (duh?) woman… I am guessing you were being intentionally redundant with that one.

(So far I am not offended)

You then proceed to call my children fat. Yes, my one little girl is technically quite fat. She is in the 105th percentile for height and weight, but she’s not even 1 yet, sooo, we’ll see. My other daughter is definitely solid. If you choose to call her fat, well then that’s your opinion and you are welcome to it arentcha?

(Still not offended)

As for having no income or HOPE of having an income, once again you are right. WOW YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR STUFF. The problem is that my bills are still legally my ex’s bills and he pays them *sometimes*. So, yeah someone else pays my bills if that is what you meant. He doesn’t pay anything else though (ie: child support, buy diapers, formula or any other necessities)

(Still not offended)

You try to offend my writing, but you haven’t read my fiction. You have only read posts that I whip out in minutes with typos and not too much thought to format or flow.

(Might have been offended if I knew you or if you had read my writing but I don’t and you haven’t so still not offended)

I must challenge your observation that I am scared of things outside of my ‘tiny world’. It just simply isn’t true.

Being MAD at liberals is ridiculous. I am not mad at liberals, I am mad at liberal leaders. And sometimes people DO need help but liberals don’t just help people stand who can’t stand on their own. They also help every Tom Dick and Larry who is very comfortably residing in middle class suburbia who has just decided not to work. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

And (almost) lastly (because you added your silly little PS in there) yes, you have a right to state everything you stated. Much of it was very true. Much of it was what I write every day and so thank you for reiterating it again and again. I suppose redundancy is your ‘thing’? The few things you were wrong about, well, you are more than welcome to hold them as your opinions.

But once again, I’m not offended by them. SHOULD I BE?

Now in regards to your PS. You apparently have no concept of who Jesus was. Perhaps you should look into defining the words politically correct (the real definition) and then look up Jesus Christ and see how ‘followed political correctness’. TWO WORDS – HE DIDN’T.

Another word for political correct-ness is TOLERANCE. Tolerance used to basically mean tolerating beliefs and or lifestyles that were not liked or popular. Now the word TOLERANCE means every religion, every lifestyle and every person is created equal.

Jesus was NOT TOLERANT. He is anti gay, anti premarital sex, anti abortion and he stood against everything that the leaders in his day deemed as right and appropriate. He didn’t accept things as they were so I would say he was actually quite INTOLERANT and therefore did not display political correct-ness.

So you accusing me of going against my religion by being anti-politically correct is actually quite a moot point.

Oh, and thank you from the deepest part of my heart for the well wishes about getting my life together for my children. Although your malicious intent was obvious with this little mini rant on MY blog, I will reiterate:

You did not offend me and quite comically proved yourself to be quite the ass.

The FAT Chick (Because yes, I’m fat . . . duh)

17 comments :

  1. You and me, we go on a road show together, yelling at other folks.... That was fun to read...Thanks

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  2. I commend you for responding to this person with dignity. I don't think I would have handled it quite as well as you did.

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  3. So Jesus would call people stupid, huh, and probably retarded? Wow. I'll get to that in a minute. And I'm happy that you're not offended, since the point of my response was NOT to offend you but to make you see that there is power in naming. I get to stand back from my perch and NAME you, and you don't have any control whatsoever about it. The point of PCism, as it came about in the 1990s, was to give power back to the people who had been disenfranchised,specifically by reframing the very names they had been given BY OTHER PEOPLE. Get it? So you're a stay-at-home mom, right? I choose to call you and your kind unemployed. I have a job. I have children. You're just UNEMPLOYED to me. (I don't really believe this way, but I hope you see my point, even a little.)

    I'm the ass? I'm not the one choosing to puke out my admitted trainwreck of a life in public--universally--including such things as petty, snarky passive-aggressive attacks on my ex-husband. Yes, of course, it's your blog. I started following it awhile ago because I thought you'd have something to say worth reading, but every single post is about how wronged you've been, how miserable you are, and how petty you're being in a very rough situation. Plus, I have very little respect for a woman who posts pictures of her children in such a public venue. They can't give consent and shouldn't be on here.

    Here's the issue: it's not your weight that's your problem. You think all your issues are rooted on the outside, but it's your insides that are sick and need fixing. You come across as a very angry, resentful person without much to add to anyone's life. You're hateful, spiteful, and sad. You take out your failed marriage and lack of direction on "liberal leaders." Why? Do you feel you haven't been helped enough? Why the anger? I'm moderate myself, but I also don't post such generalizing, stereotypical, The-Liberals-Are-Coming-to-Get-Us crap for all to see.

    Lastly, as a Christian mother of three, I have serious doubts and much sadness in my heart about your perception of Jesus. He ministered to people, he didn't judge them the way you do. I've actually said a prayer for you now and then for you to find peace and fulfillment in your life. You wonder why you have trouble staying on a program--why that "switch" flips now and then? It's because there is no switch, and you're too full of anger and resentment to move forward with your life.

    I don't have a blog myself because it might compromise the safety of my children or my professional life. That's why only my initial is up there. If you need to send me personal email, you can do it at auroraleigh.29@gmail.com. I'd be happy to talk with you about how I've found my own path to happiness and health.

    God Bless. :)

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  4. HEY -- When did commenting turn into bullying and ranting?

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  5. You know you can delete those comments right? And whoever "A" is needs to move on...

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  6. I'm sorry but why are you, "A", posting on someone's blog when you do not even enjoy their blogging. You are not required to be here and your opninion is not neccesary nor wanted. If you are truly on your own path to happiness and health you wouldn't be sitting on the computer reading about everybody else's problems. You would be out enjoying that "wonderful" life of yours.

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  7. Ok so this is my question to you "A"...
    If you have such a problem with her why come here and say anything!
    And you really should keep your opinions about her children to yourself!
    You should just come and talk to me and leave her alone!
    She is going through enough hell and doesn't need you and you OPINIONS!
    BACK OFF!

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  8. I am totally not in the loop here and was floored when I read your recent post. I DON'T want to judge, but will just say that the comments previously discussed made me really sad. I don't know how one would recover from such an onslaught of rude name calling, and especially the comments toward your children.

    All I am going to say is, stay strong. It is hard living in todays world where we are expected to be slim, perfect, mothers that can do it all (this is not Desperate Hosuewives). You are doing the best that you can and your children know they are loved during a rough time in your relationship. I hope that you continue to blog. I agree with aschul11, I am not forced to read your blog posts, and if something is said that offends me, I won't return. Maybe we need to be reminded of that?

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  9. Wow. I don;t know a single person who's regular life does not effect their weight loss and many (myself) this is my safe haven where I can talk about my issues.

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  10. Well you may not be offended by "A" and her verbal vomit fit but I for 1 am!

    "A"-How dare you! How dare you bring children into your little hissy fit! How dare you claim to be a "Christian Mother" and "PC" and still find calling a child a baby at that fat! That is not only juvenile in nature but it also low.

    You don't like the blog, you don't like the view point's that stop following and go find a blog that has more sunshine and rainbows and a lot less reality. I hope for your sake you never find yourself to be an unemployed single mom with a less than helpful ex-husband.

    I enjoy the honesty of this blog. I appreciate knowing that the writing here is real and comes from a place that has heart. I struggle with my weight, my kids, my on again off again job, my husband, my ex-husband, my in-laws and my ex-in laws. I struggle with how my emotions come into play with weight loss journey. All that said it is good to know that I am not alone. It is good to know that another person is fighting a similar fight. It is good to read a blog that is not solely about food! It is good to just read something that is real and raw and open and direct.

    Again as before I applaud The Fat Chick Weigh for having the courage to stand up and to be heard. Freedom of speech is not a "PC" term and not for the faint of heart and the easily offended.

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  11. Clearly you people do not understand what "A" is attempting to point out in regards to political correctness. There is nothing wrong with her comments in references to the very "un" PC blog post we had all just read.

    Point: Just because you MAY think it, it does not mean you should necessarily put it out in the world. You never know who you may be needlessly offend and hurt. It is not about being PC, it is about putting out what you expect to get back and tolerance. A little more tolerance in the world would not hurt anyone.

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  12. Could you please post the bible verses where Jesus commented on abortion, homosexuality and pre-marital sex? What? He didn't? Interesting.

    By the way, I do think that you have guts to allow anonymous comments.

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  13. This post has been removed by the author.

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  14. (Sorry for the edited post. I hit publish before I was all done.)

    And Jennifer gets the prize for actually knowing what I was trying to do up there.

    Congrats, Jennifer. :)

    Also, for a bunch of people supporting Kristen's right to be "unPC," you ladies sure are judgy when I exercise my own right. My opinion may not be necessary or wanted, as one of you wrote, but guess what: It's a blog. I'm a reader. THAT'S WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR. Now, I'm sure most of you want sunshine and rainbows and comments full of people telling you "Right on!" and "You're awesome!" and "No, that two pounds of weight gain is probably muscle!" Sadly, though, the world doesn't work that way. We're surrounded by people who think and feel differently than we do. As adults, we learn to DEAL WITH IT and work to have productive dialogue across difference. You don't want to hear from people with different views? You don't want to have to defend your thoughts and actions? Easy: Don't have a blog.

    Or, we could think about what Jennifer's saying and use my example to see how the PC discussion started in the first place: that we, as fellow human beings, have an obligation to do our best not to hurt each other. My intentionally hurtful "rant," as some of you called it, was supposed to draw that out. (It certainly wasn't an "attack," which is a term that I would think a group of women would be more careful to throw around, considering the connotations.)

    Now why wouldn't each of you get this worked up over Kristen's use of similarly despicable language? I know more than a few people who would be saddened and angry at the flippant use of the word retarded to mean stupid, like my 7-year-old best buddy in Sunday School. He'd be hurt if he knew you all thought it was okay to think about his condition as the same as being stupid. (Which he's not, not by a long shot, and certainly more self aware than some of the people I see on here.)

    Tolerance, yes, but also knowing that you should always be careful when you name other people.

    One of the major issues with people now is that they act and think without questioning WHY they act and think that way. "Because I like to" or "because that's the way my family does it" isn't good enough.

    And with that: I bid you good night. It's dinner time. :)

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  15. Thank you, "A" :)

    In regards to people who respond with the typical "you don't have to read it" argument, I have this to say:

    Many come here to read about a person who is attempting to lose weight whether is be successfully or with its challenges. I personally do not enjoy blog that are 100% about weight loss, stats, exercise, diet, etc... because I find it boring. I appreciate the random anecdotes, snippets of peoples' lives, funny stories, etc. because I find it interesting and allows you to connected with the author.

    Though I appreciate and respect peoples' personal thoughts and opinions, I must admit, I was quite disappointed with the blog post that has ruffled some many feathers.

    I understand that those are the thoughts and beliefs of the blogger, it was not something I was expecting to read or even wanted to read. Yes, I did want to comment and maybe have a small rant regarding human rights, American public policy (I am Canadian), tolerance, etc. I decided not to as it was the author's personal opinion.

    The only reason I did respond to "A"'s comment was that I felt that other comments and the blog author CLEARLY missed the point of it thus starting a finger pointing, name calling mess.

    I also believe that those who sit back and listen to people make bold offending statements that may be considered racist, bigotry, homophobic, etc. are perhaps just as intolerant as the people who make them.

    Kudos "A".

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  16. I use only my initial because my given name is Aurora--yes, like the Disney princess, only after the Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem. Since people think I'm a 37-year-old woman trying to be a Disney princess, I just use my first initial; Aurora Lassiter (my middle name) doesn't give me the option for a cool two-initial name. :)

    People did call me Lass growing up, but that soon turned in to "Here, Lassie. Here, girl." Ug. Kids are CRUEL.

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