Wednesday, August 25, 2010

SOMETHING DEEP AND SOMETHING ... um ... MILDLY DEVASTATING

Is it too much to wish for someone who will sit with me while I cry? Someone who will listen and not take it personally because it has nothing to do with them? Is it too much to wish for someone who will touch my cheek, squeeze my shoulder, rub my back in consolation and tell me everything will be okay? Is it too much to ask for those gestures without expectation of ‘gratification’ in return? Is it too much to ask for someone who I can tell anything to . . . on any subject . . . at any time – day or night? Is it too much to want someone who I can lay with in bed and turn into to cry on their chest when I have had a nightmare, or I am feeling particularly low? Is it too much to want someone who loves me and understands me and doesn’t want to use and doesn’t need to abuse and will always be there for me?




I feel trapped in a dark tunnel. I see the light at the end of it, but am afraid to venture toward it because I don’t know where it will lead. Will it lead to freedom or will there only be more shackles to endure.




ON ANOTHER NOTE




Remember the hot hunk-a-steamin’ man I posted in an earlier post? Mr. Matt Bomer who plays Neal Caffrey from White Collar? Well a fellow blogger enlightened me on something. AND THEN I FOUND THIS:






!!!OMG WTF!!!

I mean I still like to look at him cuz I mean who wouldn’t want to look at THIS




But holy frickin Jeez!!

It's hard to lust after a guy after you've seen pictures of him like that.

I guess I'll have to think of 'Neal' & not 'Matt'. lol


XO Kristen

9 comments :

  1. No it's not too much...but if you don't leave the tunnel you will not find it.

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  2. what.a.post. i'm seriously overwhelmed ;-)
    what a rollercoaster of feelings reading this. I could so relate to the forst part - and then was shocked byt the 2nd - he's not gay is he? that would surely be a for women across the globe...
    anyways.
    I don't believe you're asking to much - but (for me) these things / someone like that are hard to accept - especially when you (or me in this case) don't believe they actually exist...

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  3. He is gay ((sniff - whimper)) and you are right. I don't believe he exists, but I like to dream.

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  4. He does exist and you will find him. Very powerful.

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  5. that man does exist, but he may not be easy to find...you're working on yourself in a big way right now which is very difficult and takes a lot out of you because of the courage involved!! You're really brave, so no matter how dark things seem at any given moment never discount that.
    And as for the gay guy, welp, what a waste! LOL

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  6. It's not too much to ask for someone to be there for you. He will come along when you least expect it. I agree with arielcircleofnine, he does exist. But men are fixers not healers. I have heard this time and time again from my married friends. The female friends listen and empathize. Men tend to listen and problem-solve. So blog, journal, and call your girlfriends until you find a man to train to listen and let you cry your eyes out without telling you what you should do to solve your problem.

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  7. no no no - that is not what i meant. i don't believe that something that good would ever happen to me cause i have this distorted image, that i am not worth it.... i do believe, i choose to believe, someone like that is out there... i just have to accept the fact that i am actually worth it. at least i hope so...

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  8. That's not too much to ask, I think its what should be asked for and gotten.

    As for Matt Bommer, I feel my chances of getting him are not at all effected by this.

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  9. You'll get there one day. I know me saying this doesn't help, but I believe that you will, one day, find someone who makes you happy, and, in turn, you will be happy too. *hugs*

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