Tuesday, September 7, 2010

CLARIFICATION TO MY PREVIOUS POST - GETTING ATTACHED HURTS

In my last post I gave no back story to what has been going on and thought summing it up by saying that everything was going really good between my ex and I would get the point across. So, for those interested and for my own cathartic benefit this is what has happened.

Remember on the first of September I wrote THIS POST?

Well, starting that day I began to feel something for my ex again. I don't know what button flipped on or what switch was turned but it happened. I let my ex know. He said he never stopped feeling anything for me. Our conversations from that point on have been of a loving nature. We want to fix things. We want to make things better.  We are talking about steps to pay off our debt. We are talking about how to make our family time more enjoyable, finding what there is to do and on a very personal level we have been trying to understand one another, and communicate.
Fast forward to yesterday which was where my previous post came in.

I am only clarifying because apparently some are under the impression that we are already divorced. We're not. As well as that he is dating these other girls. He's not and he adamantly states that he never has nor ever will be 'involved' with these girls.

I know what you're thinking though. I'm blind. I'm a glutton for punishment. I know, I know.

I just suddenly really want to make this work.

I really want to be a family.

It has nothing to do with having what I can't have because he all but throws himself at me.
It has nothing to do with nostalgia (anymore) because nostalgia ultimately only brings pain.

((sigh)) I just wish he wouldn't get so close (even if it is just as friends) to the women he works with.

XO Kristen

3 comments :

  1. I seems to me that the ex is trying to woo you so he can get you back. His previous threats about divorcing you were probably meant to make you want him back and, when that didn't work, he's turned on the charm hoping that will change your mind about him. That's not necessarily a bad thing. He may actually have matured since you've been apart and realized how important you are in his life. Most people deserve a second chance if they are sincere in willing to change.

    If you want to make things work and be a family again, based on what he's done in the past, I would suggest you recommend he get help for anger management. (From experience, without that, a sudden moment of anger could turn ugly. Especially if he feels he can "easily" get you back.) Also, you should both get marriage counseling. It will help you better understand each other's feelings, you'll be able to make him understand what you want out of your relationship and vise versa.

    Remember, it's not just about you and him anymore. There are two beautiful little girls in the picture. I believe that they deserve a happy family and a happy home but it should be all the time, not just when the ex is trying to woo you. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

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  2. I hope it all works out! I know that sometimes its hard to figure out if the relationship is salvageable. I just worry because of his violent temper and if you both really want this I would suggest family therapy. Not only for you but for him too! That way you both can get non partial advice. Kris you and those amazing girls deserve the best!

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  3. Matters of the heart, are those which are almost impossible to control. I really wish you guys the best of luck in all that you do whether it be work things out or decide that it might be for the best to be apart. Sometimes you just have to let things play out how they will in order to get the real lesson out of it. Keep your head up, & always remember that you deserve the absolute best! <3

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