Thursday, September 9, 2010


I swear, life is always kicking me in the butt one way or another. So, we all know how I have been over the moon 'in love', so excited to be reuniting with my ex, blah blah blah.


Today he and I were talking on the phone and he brings up Buzzy's 3rd birthday (which is 9 months away still) and how he wants to celebrate it in Mexico.

** Apparently 3 years old is a very special age in Mexico and they go all out for 3 year old parties, like quinceneras.


Anyway, I said 'Sure,' thinking '9 months is a long time from now and a lot can happen in 9 months. We'll see where we are then and go from there,'. So then Mr. Ex starts asking me about his citizenship. (He's a permanent resident)

Mr. EX - How long do I have to be a permanent resident before I can apply for citizenship?

Me - I think 10 years.

Mr. EX - No, in the papers I got with my residency it said 5

Me - Well, it's only been 3. I never knew you wanted to be a citizen.

Mr. EX - Yeah

Me - Why?

Mr. EX - Why not?

Me - I just never knew you were interested in it before. You had never mentioned it.

Mr. EX - Well, as a permanent resident I can only stay out of the country for 6 months at a time and as a citizen I can stay out as long as I want. So, that way we can spend 7 or 8 months in Mexico with the girls.


Me - Riiiiight.

So to sum up his desire for citizenship; he doesn't want to become a citizen because he loves this country or because he respects this country or for any reason concerning this country. He is only interested in citizenship because he wants to spend MORE TIME OUT OF THIS COUNTRY.

Well guess what? Your daughter's and my life are here IN THIS COUNTRY. If you want to spend months on end OUTSIDE OF THIS COUNTRY than go do it. BUT LEAVE US HERE and LEAVE US ALONE.

I cannot believe he doesn't even take into consideration that the girls may be in school. Buzzy is starting her first year of Pre-school next year and I AM PRETTY DAMN SURE they aren't gonna like her taking a 7-8 month hiatus and that's only if he were to get his citizenship SUPER FAST. (hahahaha - yeah right - not with what they have to go through)

The issue is that he doesn't think about how things like that affect others. The same way he doesn't think about how sex or heavy petting in front of the girls is not morally okay. The same way he is too concerned about feeding his own hunger at the dinner table and isn't even aware if the girls have taken a bite of their meal. It's SO TYPICAL of him and I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

As you can see my rose colored glasses have been removed. I'm not heartbroken. I'm not even disappointed or surprised. I knew it was coming. People don't change. Leopards don't change their spots and Mexicans (at least 1 Mexican that I know of) who have everything in Mexico (including money) would prefer to be there than here.


Maybe some of my readers are new to my blog and wondering why I'm  being such a bitch, or maybe you skipped that particular post or just forgot when his mom said,

"Give him one of the girls, you take the other and go your separate ways."

Yeah, I pretty much lost any desire to see that woman ever again the moment she said that to me. As much as I loved her, she is no more than some random old Mexican lady now. One who told me I should not only give up one of my children but do it willingly. Sick woman. Sick sick woman.

And now I have a dilemma. Well, it's not really a dilemma. I KNOW what I NEED to do. The question is when and how bad will the repercussions be. I don't know. I am tempted to leave things as they are until he pushes the subject of going or doing some other ungawdly thing like putting some random co-worker on our car insurance policy. I swear he is FRIGGIN OUT OF HIS MIND.

Thank you to all you ladies who gave me a good smack upside the head (verbally) via text, e-mail, and comments. I'm glad the glasses came off sooner than later or I could have been in HUGE trouble.

Tomorrow is weigh in and I'm excited. I have been doing good. Really good and I pray the scale reflects that.

I'm off to rest now, catch up on some blogs and listen to some music.

Wish me luck in trying to figure this whole new situation out.

Until next time.

XO Kristen


  1. I would be very careful about mexico...

    It is VERY hard to get kids away from their fathers in mexico. A woman I knew years ago had a heck of a time when he just up and took the kids there to be with his family and she literally had to hire people to kidnap the kids back after like 2 years.

  2. Get thee an attorney, get thee a divorce, get thee permanent physical, legal custody of your children and make sure that it is spelled out clearly that those girls don't cross that border without your express, written consent. Or better yet, without you.

    Oh, and get your own car insurance, too. You could be held legally liable for anything dumb that is done by some random person placed on your policy by your husband.

    You need to protect yourself and your girls. After he has taken them across the border and won't return them isn't the time to start working on this. *end loving but firm lecture*

  3. I'm giving you a blog award. Come pick it up on my page.

    I typically try and stay out of people's relationships. All I have to say is that you know exactly what is best for you and your girls. Listen to your heart.

  4. What Ice Queen said. She's absolutely right.

  5. totally agree with Ice Queen here too! make sure you are completely independent from him and make sure you have all custody and rights and stuff. and at this point i would not leave my kids alone with him. hope he would not go crazy and take them away from you.
    and splitting up kids like furtinure is the sickest thing i have ever heard. you can share a box of ice cream, or split a pack of cigarettes (if you happen to be a smoker) but you can not split up siblings? who would even consider such a thing. i am so happy i don't know that person.... and i am so sorry she's your kids grandmother....
    put yourself and your girls first!!

  6. Agrees with Ice Queen. Unless you have custody papers filed, he technically has equal rights to your girls...meaning he could just take them one day, and go to Mexico. Then you get to shuffle through the mess. Tread carefully.

  7. Completely agree with Shan and Ice Queen. Bottom line is once they are both in school he could go pick them up one day and hop in a car bound for Mexico. If he did that you would have a heck of a time dealing with international law, and given his stated wish to spend more time in Mexico that could be a real concern.

  8. Stop answering your phone and your door.. your girls will thank you one day. My oldest son has not seen his father in 11 years and he is now 13 and actually sat down with me and thanked me for it.

  9. Definitely agree with Ice Queen.

    I know all too well what it is like to want another chance with someone you have spent years loving, even when you know deep down it can't work. Sorry you're having to go through it, you are strong and will persevere. :)

  10. I agree. Get a divorce fast. Im all for working things out Im in the same situation (you know that) but my husband would never take the kids from me or serprate them from each other. That mother in law is CRAZY! I have heard horrible things about Mexico too so make sure he doesnt get your kids down there.

    Cant wait for your weigh in!


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