Sunday, October 10, 2010

IT AMAZES ME

I know my followers already know everything I'm about to say. Just bear with me.


Hi. My name is Kristen. I'm 25 (almost 26) years old. I'm Caucasian. Female. I have two daughters. Both toddlers. 14 months apart. (13.5 really but who's counting?) I am a good 120lbs overweight. That would be considered obese. Morbidly obese. I choose to lose weight. Period. And the method I choose is low calorie. Calories ranging from 900-1500 a day. I hate exercise. I LOVE Zumba.

Now if you had a problem with anything I just wrote above, well okay that's fine. There is nothing I can really do to change most of it. It's who I am. I can't change my name (I suppose I could, but I think it's a decent name). Can't change my age, my race, my gender or my status as a mom or the ages between my girls. The one thing I can change is my weight. Which I told you I am doing, and I am sure you could have guessed that considering this is a weight loss blog. My method of weight loss is my own decision. I was not placed on a diet. I was not instructed how to go about it. I chose calorie counting and with a bit of support and number help chose the range of calories I am able to eat. I can't help that I hate exercise and while in every right Zumba IS exercise, it doesn't FEEL like exercise so I don't really feel like a hypocrite when I claim to LOVE it.

Maybe after what you've read you've already drawn some conclusions about me. Maybe not. Now, I could stop here and whatever conclusions you may have drawn could be left as they are. You could think whatever you needed to think of me and probably the worst thing you could think is about my weight and what a fat, lazy blah blah blah I must be, or I must have been. But in general, people around the weight loss community are pretty excepting of us 'morbidly obese' folk and our efforts to lose the fat. So, in essence I could leave you with this and you would probably have a pretty rosy opinion or perception of me. Right?

Now, what happens when I come out with more information about myself. Not only do I have two small children but I am also raising them by myself. I have been separated from their daddy for nearly a year and we are currently trying to work out our relationship. I am a stay at home mom. I have no income other than what my estranged husband provides. My family helps me with my expenses as well.

Now, surely you have drawn further conclusions with this information. They might be negative full of disgust and repulsion at a woman who would stay married to a man and 'use' him for his money while trying to fix a marriage that may or may not work. Or perhaps your new perspective is full of pity or empathy. Regardless, your opinion of me will have changed marginally with this new information.

Then, let's say I divulge that I am an aspiring writer. I have written a full manuscript large than that of the popular book Twilight. It is sitting on a few different literary agents desks and I hope to have it published in the near future. Once again, your perception of me will alter.

And with each new piece of information you learn about me your perception will alter and your like or dislike of me will grow.

The thing is, that unless you know me personally and what I do and how I think affects you directly than why does it really matter? There are so many different kinds of people in this world. So many and that is what makes it beautiful. If we were all the same, all drones, all thought the same and felt the same and did the same life would be one boring crapfest, lemmetellya!

This is the internet people. The IN-TER-NET. 20 years ago it barely existed and the majority of people you converse with here through the blogosphere were just random people that existed that you had no idea about. So, I don't really understand how you can take a person - who you've never met, sitting behind a screen, typing out their thoughts - so personally.

It truly amazes me, some of the blogs and the comments I have been reading lately. Fighting and bashing and name calling and cliques and a bunch of other 'high school drama' stuff. Is that really necessary?!?! I'm all for a good debate. I LOVE DEBATES. I LIVE TO DEBATE AND TO HEAR DEBATES AND WATCH THEM but is it really necessary to play dirty? Is it really necessary to bash, and berate and name-call and then threaten?!?! I just think it's such a waste of energy. 

Something else that amazes me is that Allan (who seems to be such a catalyst for all the drama) has such an astounding affect on people. I mean DAMN! I understand he can be crass and callous and at times vulgar and he curses like a sailor but does he put food on your table? Does he put clothes on your back? A roof over your head? Does he send you monthly maintenance checks? Well, if he does, then my bad but in all honesty I don't think he takes care of anyone except for his lovely wife, three pooches and himself.  So, why then put so much weight in what he says? If you like it (like I do - MOST OF THE TIME, NOT ALL THE TIME) than read on and enjoy. I love his humor, his realism and his stories. If you don't like it, than why are you wasting your time? In my opinion its either a completely self absorbed and/or masochistic person who submits themselves to do something they don't want to do (i.e. read a blog that disgusts, hurts, belittles or insults them)

On another note, it is very disheartening in a community of weight loss bloggers where the atmosphere is a stagnant bitter stench of spite and written insults cast here and there and everywhere. I mean there was a blog I read who wrote an answer to Allan and she was chastised and told that her followers would unfollow her because of what she had written. JEEZ!!!! Seriously? I mean, cuz I don't know about you but I don't blog for my followers. I LOVE MY FOLLOWERS. I think it's awesome that people want to read what I have to say but I blog for ME. So WTF is up with the threats to unfollow?!?! She's probably better off without anyone who threatens that anyway.

AND ON THAT NOTE: If you were to meet a new person at work/school/or some other place and you were walking along talking and they said something that you didn't agree with would you turn around and walk away, without saying a word? What would that say about your character? Well, to me that is the equivalent of 'unfollowing someone' because they said something that bothered you. It's just so ridiculous.

This community is supposed to be a fountain of information and a form of accountability and support. I don't believe it should always be rose colored and I don't think that there should be NO DISAGREEMENT. Whenever there is more than one person there will always be differing opinions, points of view, stands, etc. BUT BUT BUT BUT - In a world where there is enough harassment, enough belittling and judgmental expression I would think most weight loss bloggers would want to come here to get away from that (and for your information - while Allan has a no bullshit tolerance level and he can come off extremely blunt I don't believe he has any mal intent toward anyone - well until they express mal intent toward him)

I will say if you are pro-allan, anti-allan or don't even know who Allan is - if you choose to follow people and then decide they aren't your cup of tea than there is always that very convenient UNFOLLOW button on your dashboard. If someone comments on your blog and you don't like what they have to say, there is the convenient DELETE button. But remember, this is a public forum and you or I or Allan or anyone who wants to can write whatever they want. You can like it, use it, or stop reading and do something else. Just my opinion of course.

Lastly, if you are interested in reading some short stories and/or deleted excerpts from my books go to the tab at the top of my blog labeled SHORT STORIES and click on the story of your choice and then follow me over there (if you want)

More weight loss and husband news coming soon.

XO Kristen

6 comments :

  1. Yeah, I'm totally lost. Fun read though.

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  2. I didn't directly address it on my blog--almost did, then decided to stay the hell out of it--but it's very upsetting to me when things get nasty, period.

    Why does it even have to get there? Let's live and let live, even when it comes to dieting. I may not go the intuitive route, but I wouldn't dream of berating someone for trying it. I wouldn't go the VLCD route, but it's up to each person to do what they want and think best. Vegan, meat-eater, Atkins, Mediterranean. Heck, if someone wants to have aliens help them diet with anal probes, I wish them luck hailing down a flying saucer full of green-skinned nutritionists.

    I like to follow Allan's journey. He's an interesting dude. But I hope he really just lays off casting stones or whatever he's casting at dieters that don't do what he does. I love his success. I want him to reach goal and be happy, healthy and live a long life with Sue and Lola, Elvis,etc. But I want that for all the dieters whose blogs i visit.

    I want us all to succeed.

    I will say that Allan's tenacity and single-mindedness makes me focus a bit more when I feel like being a total lax-hound. Sometimes, seeing tough diet love in action is motivating.

    I just don't want it to stop being tough "love" and become just "tough".

    Hey, I guess I just prefer to err on the side of encouragement. :)

    Happy day to you, Kristen. Be well and keep on writing!!!!

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  3. I think people should take the good and drop the bad. Good post.
    This isn't life and death. It's blogging.

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  4. totally agree Kristen, great words

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  5. That was a fun read. Thanks. Amazes me as well that anyone gives a crap about what someone who's big accomplishment eating less. This line is especially odd "But I hope he really just lays off casting stones or whatever he's casting at dieters that don't do what he does" from Princess. Again, I could care less how yo lose weight in this forum. Seems that because I write about what I do, and it works, that makes me a pariah. Fine with my thinning ass. Kristen, thanks for the defense, but do not sweat it at all. As you go forward on your plan, people will be more jealous of you for all the wrong reasons. Be flattered... XXOOXX

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  6. Well put!!

    I could understand that there would be many out there who would bash a poster if the blog they write is about promoting racism, child pornography, incest, child abuse, elder abuse ... things of that sort. But when people choose to blog about their children, loss of a loved one, depression, weight loss, exercise, travel, food, etc., it makes absolutely no sense why it brings out the worst in some people. I can only think that they lead such sad and boring lives that their only form of entertainment is to put someone else down.

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