This year was no different. My husband declares he doesn't feel comfortable in my family's presence because I consult with my mom and grandma when we have marital issues. I understand that. *I think* In any case this is the series of messages that ensued this morning after a good starting - badly ending conversation.
* And just so it is clear, I have been BEGGING him to come to Thanksgiving for weeks. His answer? I'll think about it. Ironically though, a few weeks ago he mentioned going to Mexico for Buzzy's 3rd birthday and I had said I'll think about it and you'd think I'd told him I planned on shooting his mother! He always expects an affirmative when he wants me to do things but 'I'll think about it' is totally acceptable when the tables are turned.
So after our phone conversation he texts me:
HIM: I'm sad because I have always asked to be alone with you and my daughters to celebrate something or to do something and you never want to. You always want to be with your family and yet your sister IS going to be with her boyfriend.
ME: I'm so sorry that you're sad. I understand. I really do. I want you to come and enjoy the celebration with my family too but you don't want to. They want you there too. Buzzy and Breezy are very excited about going to play with their cousins. I wish you would come and see that.
HIM: I hope that when Buzzy's birthday comes you want to go to Mexico to celebrate it and so that they meet my parents and their other family because if you don't want to there's no reason to continue together.
ME: I love you. I wish you'd change your mind.
HIM: Change my mind about what?
ME: To come and be with me and the girls.
HIM: I told you that if you came here first maybe I'd feel like going but you never came, so no. Enjoy your day.
So, it's nearly 10:00 and he hasn't called or texted.
It is so strange how closely my relationship with my husband parallels my relationship with food. They are both bad. I need to fix them both. I fix them both for a short time and then something happens and all hell breaks loose. I can't change how I feel about my husband. I DO love him. But I'm starting to think that as Chris from A Deliberate Life said in THIS POST has a point. You can't let what you feel control your actions especially when you know that the action provoked my certain feelings is detrimental. I need to start feeling my feelings and not acting on them. I need to act appropriately and responsibly. With food. With the husband. My life cannot continue like this.
Like I said, big things are coming. Some are already here and I just haven't spoken of them recently. Please keep me and my girls (especially my girls) and my situation even though you don't know the details in your prayers.
And even though it's a little late: