All that to say that ms fat chick has taken full control of me and has beaten healthy chick into submission. I can hear the murmur (more like shouts of frustation?) from blogland saying well take some control and beat the fat chick back.
The thing is (if you remember from previous posts) when the fat chick takes over all concern for my physical being regarding food goes out the window. I still hear the weak voice of the healthy chick in the form of guilt about thinking about bad foods and thinking about eating bad foods but when the bad foods are there in front of me it's as though the fat chick sits her fat ass on the healthy chicks face literally suffocating her voice her breath and her concern.
The holidays have made the fat chicks voice particularly loud and particularly controling. I want food. Pumpkin this and that and eggnog this or that as well as all the goodies. It just sucks because my lack of concern pisses me off yet I can't find the will to care enough not to eat.
I've had 3 really bad days lately which is really crappy but the horrible thing is that I have this new super annoying but super tempting voice in my head saying, just wing it toll the new year. It'll be much easier that way.
I wanna cry for my self control that is in a (food) coma.
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