I also learned that I don't know who I am. Not really. I mean, I know WHO I am but I do not know WHO I AM WITHOUT HIM. Who am I as a solitary person? ((shrugs)) Your guess is as good as mine. What do I like? What are my opinions? My thoughts have so long been manipulated and controlled by this man that I realized I order food because HE likes it. I say things a certain way so HE will understand them. (Even when they make no sense to anyone else) I beg and plead and cry for forgiveness when in my heart of hearts I know I've done nothing to be apologizing for, and yet I feel guilty anyway.
My future scares me. Not because I am afraid to be alone. I'm not. Not because I don't know what's in store. I like surprises. But because there are possibilities now. I choose my future. It will not be chosen for me. The options are infinite and that scares me.
I have a lot of fear.
I need a lot of prayer.
This road I have begun to travel down may be short or long, easy or difficult, scary or pain free. Regardless, it is a road I am 100% unfamiliar with. It will lead me to a place I have never been and I will not be able to turn back.
I need SANITY, GUIDANCE, SELF-CONTROL AND PEACE