Wednesday, March 23, 2011

STARTING completely OVER

Started over (again) today. Completely. A total mental RESET. I've contemplated a new blog, a new audience, and decided that would be silly. I needed to reevaluate myself, my goals, my approach and give myself a complete (mental) reset/restart ...

So today was day 1. As you can see by the 'Biggest Loser' style scale in the top right corner I weighed in today at a sodium swollen, carb bloated, sugar riddled 293.4lbs.

Wow.

But no sense in berating myself (still) about what is done. Now it's time to just suck it up and fix what's messed up!

Weigh ins on Friday mornings.

Monthly photos on the first.

Yada yada blah blah blah.

My girls' father is making me feel like an ass. I am petitioning for a temporary motion for him to pay my car payment (because he said he didn't want to pay it) child support (because he doesn't and has never paid it) as well as putting a parenting plan in place.

I feel like an ass because he is paying my car now (as of today) without even knowing about the petition.

Nothing is changing though. The divorce will go through this time. He and I are not good for each other.

And with my divorce from him I will also petition my divorce from my addiction to food.

It has been and will be a long journey but I will get there. No matter how many times I fall down.


XO Kristen

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

14 comments :

  1. Kris I have watched you become so strong. Though every ones journeys are so different, I know the pain of the death of a relationship with your children's father. I will have you in my wishes for a smooth transition.

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  2. dude...you are not an ass..you are thinking ahead and not allowing your emotions to get in the way of forward planning. Good job. Way to start fresh.

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  3. fresh starts are a great thing...wishing you & your adorable baby girls the absolute best!

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  4. New life. New you. You are in control of what foods are in the house and you are in control of what you do. Your girls come first and that's a good thing you will cherish. You can teach them good eating habits and how to be thankful for each day.

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  5. way to go! and don't let him make you feel like an ass... you are so not and have every right to do all the things you are doing... and i like the idea of petitioning for weight loss... it's almost like a contract with yourself... and where did you get the biggest loser weigh-in pic?? too cool!! good luck! keep us updated, we are all here for you!!

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  6. You're taking control and that for that you should feel proud! You are taking this divorce and your diet by the horns. That's awesome!

    Oh and like crystal asked; where'd you get the biggest loser weigh-in pic thing? I love it!

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  7. I don't think it's a problem to start a fresh blog if you wanna. One that does not include any of the personal stuff and is, instead, your daily focus on health issues/plan/strategy. In fact, I'd recommend it. A blog where every day, after you get up, you blog to focus yourself on the healthful stuff. When I started doing that (started a blog for just that, a new one), I found it liberating. No baggage from the old blog that just had a lot of frustrating stuff, although some progress, bit by bit. It was the start of really getting into the right mind, but when I made a COMMITMENT, I started fresh.

    Whatever you ultimately decide, just wake up and tell yourself it's NOT an option to let the grief of life, the husband insanity, derail you. Eating emotionally is NOT an option, say that aloud. Because there's always gonna be stress/emotion/grief/shitty people. Always. Just refuse to feed the brain pathways that are no different than crack or heroin. That's what food is to us: crack , meth, heroine. Let's stop the junkie crap. :)

    Keep at it, babe.

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  8. You are not an ass. You are asking for no more that that to which you are fairly entitled. It isn't as if a car payment and child support is exactly taking him to the cleaners. Hell, it is the least he can do.

    And you need your car. You have two little ones to haul around and trying to do that with public transportation is, while possible, a total pain in the arse. And why do it, if you don't have to?

    I am glad that you aren't ditching this blog and us, your devoted followers.

    Good for you, starting, again. You are going to rock, you know. It sucks to struggle but when you do get it on track, it feels all the better. I am rooting and cheering for you.

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  9. You and your daughter look so beautiful in that picture. You and your girls deserve a fresh start. You can do this. You have a lot of support here. I'm praying for you & the girls.
    Blessings & hugs, Debbie

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  10. You are so strong.Your little women have a wonderful momma to look up to!

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  11. Good job in starting over. Seriously. You can start anew and find that happily ever after for yourself (and your beautiful girls). Breathe out and know that the first step is starting over. You're on the right path! Focus and finish your journey! Don't let ANYTHING stand in your way!!!

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  12. You are an awesome person, never forget that!:) I love reading your blog!! I am recently divorced and it's not easy. There are issues that we're going thru now and probably always will because we have kids together as well. It's just something to deal with and get thru and find out what is next for us...GOOD things!!:) I have weighed between 295-300 for months now..350 my highest. I just need to get back with it and quit eating crappy foods.LOL Easier said than done!
    I LOVE the pic of you and your little girl you posted.:)

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  13. Good luck! Sounds like you have the right attitude..you haven't given up and that's what matters!

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  14. Men can really suck! Don't feel bad or call yourself names for any man.

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