Thursday, April 21, 2011


I have found I am distracting myself from my feelings with a number of things aside from food. In fact, the more I think of it the more I am sure that the food I eat in the amounts I eat it are not only a numbing agent and a distraction but a sadomasochistic way of punishing myself for ... Well, I don't know- I haven't gotten that far yet.

My other distractions include television. In a fit of anxiety or panic if I think about escaping into the fictional shows I watch or a good movie my angst suddenly lessens. The same goes for reading and writing but the writing is getting to be less and less satisfying because the effort to come up with something good is often trumped by my wandering thoughts of worry.

I've been reading blogs, my favorites, my not-so-favorites and some newbies and I get motivated. I see photos of thin women and I get motivated. I watch a movie where I wouldn't mind trading lives for 24hrs with the protagonist and I get motivated, but the moment my mind wanders to the stress, tension, worry the motivation diminishes into desperation.

The rain doesn't help. I think I'm deficient in vitamin D and it's pissing me off. We are almost into May and it's still hail storming.

Oh and did I mention my girls have been fighting me on EVERY-FRICKIN-THING?!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. I like distractions! My favorite is shopping, cooking, browsing the internet and TV. Listening to other people's gossip and problems are also very effective in avoiding my own..then again I have to face it some time.

    Hope your day gets better!

  2. Stop the tv, stop the overfeeding, start polishing that novel and SUBMIT IT TO AGENTS! Or self-publish it on amazon. BUT DO IT. USE THAT TO GET YOUR MIND OFF WOES. Write your feelings and woes into a plot and character. Make it work FOR YOU, the stress and woes and feelings. USE THEM TO MAKE MOOLAH! Write. Write instead of eating. Write instead of TV. Write instead of watching the cellphone. WRITE, SUBMIT, SELL,make moolah, and have some hot Hollywood actor play your lead. :D
    Onward, it. DO IT! You are going to blossom...God wants you to.

  3. look into the vitamin d thing, i had blood work done and both my iron and d was really low, my doctor suggested taking pre-natals and i feel a lot better, only problem is his suggestion didn't come with a prescription and the out of pocket isn't great, but you can double a dose of children's vitamins and its close to the same!


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