Lately I have had constant headaches, they radiate everywhere from the center of my skull, behind my eyes, into my ears, down my neck, around my jaw and even into my teeth.
My back is a contorted and dilapidated mess that barely keeps me erect most days. (I'll be at at least one of my readers smirked or smiled at the word 'erect')
I have trouble breathing some days. It hurts all the way from my esophagus deep into my lungs and sometimes the space around my heart aches. Physically. Worrisomely. I have acid reflux that sends acid into my mouth the minute I'm hungry as well as intense stomach cramps after I've eaten too much and I spend just waaayy too much time in the restroom.
I'm tired. So tired. But not just from stress and the activity level of my girls. I am literally fatigued. At any given moment through the day I could sit down and close my eyes and I would be out faster than you could snap your fingers.
Sunday my mom and I had planned to start eating well together but even as I write that I wonder 'how quickly will I fail this time?'
You would think that all the reasons I just named, not to mention the 2 most precious reasons in the world would keep me from eating crap.
Well, I think I'm just about at my breaking point. I got to this point at the end of 2009 when I tipped the scales at 325. I'm not far behind that and aside from the physical pain I am also feeling the simple discomfort of carrying too much mass. It's not a happy thing.
I was told I should hear something regarding this business venture with Metabolic Research Centers by Tuesday. My initial consultation with them was sadly eye opening and very possibly an aha moment.
Stats: 314.6 lbs
53% body fat (normal should be between 24%-27%)
40lbs lean muscle mass
That's approximately 145 lbs of fat. That's a lot of fat, especially when the consultant holds up a 1lb model of fat and it is bigger than my hand.
So, I'll be updating regularly now. My 2 week hiatus is over. Depending on whether I am counting calories or doing it the Metabolic Research way, I will be updating accordingly.
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