Thursday, July 14, 2011

And Onto The 5th Day

I'm a little bummed at the scale this morning but I know it is a direct consequence of my actions yesterday. It will be remedied by Monday for my official weigh in though.

Today is laundry day. I have so much of it to do and plan to spend the whole day finishing it up. It's also infinitely easier to eat well when I'm home so I look forward to completing my day's worth of food successfully.

My mom is having surgery on Monday so I am also preparing mentally for that. Due to other 'Monday obligations' I won't be able to be at the hospital with her which kinda freaks me out but again ... Be anxious for nothing, right?

I would appreciate prayer on her behalf if you are the praying kind. Her name is Ann.

Thank you and Salud!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Anxiety Will Always Lead You Astray

In my most recent post Mallwalker from Getting Healthy gave me these two pieces of advice, "Don't worry..." and "Worry doesn't get you anywhere." The rest of what she said was important as well but these two pieces of advice resounded with me. Why? Because worry and anxiety have been my leading causes of stress and emotional eating for thee longest time.

Today was a product of that anxiety. Details withheld I am going through a very trying time in my life. Some of you may know to what I refer and others may not. Those details are not important. What is important is that I immediately turn to food when times get difficult. I overate and had a mini binge today. I hadn't binged for 3 days which is a current record and I am proud of that record. I plan to beat it with day one starting again tomorrow. 

As I said we would, my family and I went to the zoo today. Beforehand my breakfast was the norm. Two pieces of blueberry toast and a cup of coffee with cream. 

At the zoo things started out well. We had lunch. The calories in their grilled cheese sandwich was fairly low and so I chose that for lunch. That is when things started popping into my mind. Current events. Past events. Events with question marks left unanswered. I ate my grilled cheese and the chips that came with it. Then I nibbled on a leftover hotdog and some french fries. After lunch I shared an elephant ear with 4 people. Dinner was Chipotle Mexican Grill. I had never eaten there before. I chose badly. I had a steak barbacoa burrito (I should have just had the bowl -sans tortilla-) The burrito has steak, cilantro-lime rice, black beans, sour cream, guacamole and pico. After I finished that I also ate a little left over rice, a few bites of chicken and some tortilla chips. My mini binge came once we had arrived home and there were fresh oatmeal cookies staring me in the face. I had 4 1/2. I call this a mini binge because normally I would have eaten 10 or 15 or even the entire plate (like 25 cookies) I would have eaten a total of 5 cookies if someone hadn't plucked the fifth one out of my hand half way through and popped it in their own mouth.

Needless to say, I don't have a good grasp on my calorie count. I know I walked for a solid 3 hours up and down hills, over uneven terrain and sometimes pushing or pulling weight greater than 50lbs. Other times carrying weight of over 30lbs. I can say my butt hurts. My thighs hurt. My shoulders and my chest hurt - in a good way of course. 

Here are my three favorite photos from today's trip.

Praying (actually she was sleeping) baboon

New baby elephants

Holding hands

On another topic, I think I may have an umbilical hernia. I need to go have it checked out. Not fun! I will keep you updated on that. 

And so I leave you with this:
(I am not a bible thumper, but do consider myself a Christian woman. If Christianity is not your cup of tea I understand and do not look to force my beliefs on anyone. I happen to find great comfort in the following verses and hope that you can respect that)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


The life of this blog has come to an end but my new blog
is up and active and I am ONPLAN!
. Thank you to all the people who followed me and will continue to follow me.
Peace to you all.


The Rest of Today --> The Rest of My Life

Today has been good. No cravings. Mental hunger but I am 100% aware that it is mental hunger. I won't cave to that. That's what I'm really trying to do here. Change my habits. Change the way I look at food. Eat to live not live to eat. I don't want every waking thought to be about what I can stuff in my face next to numb me, distract me, and give me the excuse that "Well, I'm fat so I can't/won't/shouldn't/...".

Lunch was a 1/2 turkey cranberry wrap with 15 BBQ Lays chips. Snack was a veggie roll in rice paper with sweet chili sauce. Dinner will be one slice of homemade meatloaf (made with cracker crumbs, eggs and ...duh... hamburger), one scoop of homemade mashed potatoes (made with skim milk, butter, salt and pepper) and a veggie medley. Dessert will be two homemade Quaker oatmeal cookies.

I was invited to a bachelorette party and immediately my mind went to, 'but I won't be able to eat or drink'... Yeah, this is my life. My way of thinking. This is what I need to change. My first thought should not be about what I can or cannot eat but that 'wow, I'd love to celebrate with my friend' and it shouldn't matter what does or doesn't go into my mouth while I'm celebrating.

I have a kid's birthday party to go to on Sunday. They're making tri-tip and side dishes and the mom is known for her desserts and her appetizers and I am so worried . . . worries that I will cave, eat and ultimately fail. I need to take this one day, one meal ... maybe even one hour at a time. I can get through this and successfully. I need to remember that food cannot/ should not control me. I control it. I decide what goes inside my mouth and what doesn't and ultimately I decide what my priorities are. I must always remember that I will NEVER regret NOT eating that pie/cookie/cake/ice cream (except while it's there to eat)... Once it is gone, the temptation will be also. I will ALWAYS regret EATING those things and the regret will last much longer than the agony of not eating them.


Feeling Good Coming Into Day 3

As my title says, I feel really good coming into day three! It has been a really long time since I made it to day 3 without giving up.

And as I suspected, I peeked at the scale this morning and in 2 days I've already lost 6lbs of water weight. I always figure the first week sheds toxins and extra retained water and by the beginning of week 2 is when you know your real beginning weight.

Yesterday was good, except that it was Monday (which has a completely different definition in my life than in most but I'll get to that another time) Breakfast was 2 pieces of sunmaid raisin cinnamon swirl bread and coffee with cream. Lunch was a roasted chicken Caesar salad with no croutons. Originally I thought the salad was 490 cals (per but when I asked to confirm with the restaurant's nutritional guide it was actually closer to 600 although there were no modifications made for not eating the croutons. Snacks throughout the day were 2.5 nectarines, a 90 cal special k bar and 8 dark chocolate (flips) pretzels. Dinner was 2 Ling Lings chicken egg rolls and 1 sausage link that I had made for the girls to make sure they weren't too spicy. I did go over my calories a little but only by about 50-ish.

I figure I made up for that though, walking around the mall for 5 hours and then a double loop walk around the neighborhood last night for about 45 minutes.

This morning I started off with the same breakfast. Now I'm chillaxing before I head to the doctor, the bank and the market.

I am feeling really good. It's amazing what just 2 full days of good eating can do for your overall feeling of health. My chronic heartburn/ Gerd has all but disappeared. My headaches are minimal in comparison to what they were and I imagine as the sugar withdrawal lessens they will become even more mild and infrequent.

Tomorrow we will take a trip to the zoo so lots of walking exercise tomorrow. I just need to really think about what I eat and control the portion size. I will return with photos!

Salud! Amor! Y Dinero!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Beginning - First Weigh

Day 1 and everything is moving along smoothly. Well, as smoothly as it can move along for it being a Sunday when food is eaten out and therefore unpredictable. Normally after church we eat breakfast at Jack in the Box where they conveniently list the calories for the individual sandwich and then the range of calories for the meals depending on the beverage you choose. I was going to order a pita pocket breakfast sandwich for 441 calories plus a coffee with 4 creamer and my breakfast would have been around 480 calories. Unfortunately, we didn't anticipate that our breakfast place would be closed for remodeling and thus we had to choose a different location.

My family chose Shari's, famous for rich and highly caloric meals. I was as 'good' as I could manage to be. I had a spring spinach omelet made with egg whites, hashbrowns made without oil and dry wheat toast with 1 and 1/4 pat of jelly. I drank 2 cups of coffee with 2 creamers each. Unfortunately I can only estimate the calorie intake. Shari's nutritional guide states that the spring spinach omelet ordered normal with whole eggs is 577 calories. I am unsure of the calorie difference when you remove the yolks and the blue cheese crumbles that come with the omelet. The website also states that one side order of hashbrowns is 730 calories but says one side is 175 calories. I need to verify because one side of hashbrowns may be significantly larger than the portion that comes with the meal. Lastly, the website says that the two pieces of whole wheat bread I ate was 312 calories. WOW! I hadn't expected that. Then with the 75 calories in jelly and 40 calories in creamer... I'm a bit at a loss.

So I've been trying to deteriorate the calorie count, modifying the egg whites for the whole eggs. So if I take the total calorie amount of 577 calories and subtract the 4 whole eggs they use. (I called and asked how many whole eggs are used in a normal omelet and one whole egg equals 70 calories) Subtracting those eggs I am left with 297 calories. Then, the lady told me they use 6 oz of liquid egg whites to replace the whole eggs in the omelet which equals around 88 calories so I add that to the 297 calorie omelet. The omelet is now 385 calories. I am going to assume that hashbrowns (essentially shredded potatoes) not cooked in anything but water are 175 calories per serving. So far my meal is 560 calories which, yes is more than I had wished it to be. Add to that my 2 pieces of whole wheat 12 grain toast which the website says is 312 calories and I've suddenly jumped up to 872 calories. Plus creamer at 40 calories and jelly at 75 and wow, 987.

* I didn't subtract the blue cheese crumbles from the calorie count even though I did eat the meal without them.

Mind you this is at 12:30 in the afternoon so it is like breakfast and lunch combined. It doesn't sound so bad when you split it into 2 and say you essentially had a 493 calories breakfast and a 493 calorie lunch BUT that is what got me into trouble in the first place. Making excuses. So I will probably have a snack in a few hours and have a light dinner (less than 400 calories) and learn from my mistakes. No more toast. That would have knocked a good 375 calories off my intake and the hashbrowns weren't really necessary either. Lesson learned, but no harm no foul.

I weighed myself this morning and am 324lbs. Yuck. Holy yuck! I am sure I have at least 10lbs of water weight sitting on me though. Last night, in true glutton style I pigged out. Fries to begin with, a McDonalds frappe, ice cream and then chips and salsa, soda and more ice cream. I made myself sick I ate so much.

I am sure that if I stick to my plan this first week will show an immense loss in water weight alone.

Later this evening I will post my first BUTT SHOT.Be prepared. It isn't pretty. Now to continue on with my day. A little spring cleaning and relaxation.

Happy Sunday


Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Long Time Coming

Hello, my name is Miss K. I've been wanting to start this weight loss journey for a long time now. I have spent almost 27 years of my life overweight and the last 16 years or so at 200+ lbs. Three years ago I topped 300. I need the trend to stop. Every day I tell myself, 'tomorrow I'll start' and every tomorrow turns into today and the mantra continues. The binge monster has been my best friend and my worst enemy. A quick fix of consolation, comfort and a habit that I know I would be better off without. This relationship (though it is volatile and dangerous to my health) is going to be difficult to break off.

I have never been thin. The closest to thin I ever was in my life was as a small child and at my high school graduation. But I still weighed more than 200lbs even then. I want to be thin, but most of all I want to be healthy. Generally speaking, you could say I am healthy for being 300+lbs. I don't have any kind of diabetes, high blood pressure or other weight related illnesses. I do have GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) which can be very painful. This significantly lessens when I lose weight, which I have done time and time again. But always returns when the weight returns.

Another reason I want and need to shed the pounds is my passion. Zumba! I am an addict. I started Zumba-ing in public classes when I was around 270lbs. Now that I have surpassed 300lbs I am quite embarrassed to attend the class where I once did, ashamed of my morbid obesity. It is difficult to show your face to a group of women who have done nothing but aid you in your efforts to lose weight and yet the proof is in the pudding (or in the fat around your waist) that you have basically wasted their time.

I eventually want to become a certified Zumba instructor. I dream of making this my career. Teaching Zumba and dancing all over the country, attending conventions and masters classes and meeting Zumba 'Big Dogs' like Beto Perez the founder and creator of Zumba. 

So . . . my goals are simple. 

  • Eat between 1200-1500 calories a day
  • Walk and/or Zumba 3-5x a week
  • Don't cheat
  • Don't make excuses
The calorie intake should not be difficult. For the first month or so I will not be actually doing any Zumba. I am currently waiting for hardwood floors to be installed in my home, thus I only have carpet and carpet is not conducive to turning quickly on the balls of your feet. That's when you twist your ankle really well. BUT I will walk and I will walk a lot. Then, once the floors are installed they are going to be worn out by my dancing. 

I vow to myself I will not cheat. I want to meet my goals. I will not make excuses. There are no more tomorrows. You never know if they will actually come. There is only today and right now and I will make today, right now count. 

I will post my first weigh in tomorrow morning and my first butt photo. (Yikes) As my blog title states I am looking to Zumba my butt sexy and this will be a sort of chronological diary of the shrinkage of my butt. I am looking forward to being able to buy underwear in the near future that not only isn't a double digit but that is actually cute and feminine and dare I say it? SEXY!

So here's to the beginning of my journey!


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