- 2012 is a new beginning
- All the holiday eating isn't over yet
- I'm setting myself up for failure if I don't give myself adequate prep time
- There's still all this Christmas food in my house
- My family will pressure me to 'just try this' or 'take a taste of this'
- I will still have to 'help' my girls by testing all of their 'hot foods'
Believe me, as the list goes on the reasons get more and more ridiculous. Yet the resounding ones that I keep using to justify my delay are bullet 1, 2 and 3. I constantly justify that if I start this before the new year than the dregs and bad luck of 2011 will surely have an open doorway leading into 2012. When I don't quite convince myself with that argument I play the, 'New Years Eve will have goodies and alcohol' card and I will want to partake. When even that doesn't convince me I mentally slap myself across the face and say, 'you're waiting because you're just going to fail if you don't'.
That's it in a nutshell folks. I set myself up for failure not because I think I should start before the New Year but because I let the Addict in me convince the me who wants to get healthy to set that health aside for just X more days. Let me tell you, the food addict in me is a conniving, strong willed and bitter bitch. She has turned me from an overweight over eater to a morbidly obese compulsive binger, and I'm not proud of her. I'd like to kill her. But in the same way an alcoholic can never fully kill the need for just one drink, I know I will live with the Addict for the rest of my life. What I need to learn to do is suppress her, jail her, weaken her.
So, to answer your question Jules, I would love to start right now but the compulsive eater in me will give you XY & Z reasons why I can't or won't. I need to finish feeding the addict. I need the psychological benefit of knowing that at 12:00am on 1/1/12 that the odometer on my past eating indiscretions rolls back to 0. I can start over. Fresh. Clean slate.
On the other hand though, for Christmas I was given a gym membership which was handed to me 3 weeks early and I have been using the gym 3 times a week, 2 hours each time regardless of my eating. I feel good. I feel strong. 1 - 1.5 hours on the elliptical + weight training does wonders for your emotional and mental well being.
That said, tomorrow is a gym day for me. 9:30 rolls around pretty quickly, especially when you have small children so bedtime is here. See you tomorrow! And the countdown is on to 2012.