Wednesday, October 10, 2012

100 Reasons I NEED to Lose this Weight

1. To feel better about myself.
For as long as I can remember I have not gone a day where I didn't belittle myself, question myself, scrutinize myself or regret looking the way I look.
2. To increase my feelings of self worth.
I need to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know without a shadow of a doubt that I am just as worthy and just as valuable as anyone else out there.
3. To look good in a tight dress.
I have never been able to wear a tight dress. I have never had the opportunity to feel sexy and attractive in any outfit ... ever.
4. To be able to wear shorts in the summer.
In the same way I have never been able to wear a tight dress, I haven't worn shorts since I was in 5th grade. Elephant knees, cellulite thighs and a rotund butt has prevented this.
5. To be able to go swimming without being self-conscious.
Never have I been able to take off my clothes with a bathing suit underneath without feeling I immediately needed to immerse my body to hide it.
6. To feel I can go swimming at all!
It isn't very fun to go swimming when you feel you must be up to your neck in water at all times for fear of someone thinking nasty thoughts about your size.
7. To be healthier.
Just recently I have developed high(er) blood pressure. My blood pressure even while over weight has been normal (120/80) but recently it has started to rise and that can't be good and my weight definitely isn't helping. Add predisposition to diabetes and heart disease and healthier definitely is something I NEED to strive for.
8.
To be able to wear a bra that actually fits.
No pinching, cinching, inching, squeezing, poking or rolling... please.
9. To not worry about lawn chairs breaking.
Or any chair for that matter. Or fitting in said (lawn) chair that has arms. Nothing like overflowing because your butt is literally too huge.
10. To not get "those looks" at a restaurant, even when eating normal food.
You know the looks, like 'why are you eating that?' and 'clean your plate fatty, you know you want to.'
11. To be able to use any public bathroom comfortably.
All too often the stalls are very narrow and in order to clean properly I generally cannot spread my legs wide enough because the toilet paper dispenser or sanitary napkin/trash holder is in the way.
12. To be able to go into any store, and buy the clothes I like, not just the ones that fit.
Size 14 or even 16 is found in normal stores. Size 24 is the highest size I have found in a normal store. I am a size 26/28. You can only find this size in specialty stores.
13. To not feel awkward about going clothes shopping.
Especially when you are walking through a 'normal sized person' store. I pretend I am shopping for someone else as I peruse because I feel foolish and like I 'don't belong' in normal sized stores.
14. To be able to wear something that doesn’t say PLUS on it.
Enough said
15. So taking a bath is a luxurious thing, instead of taking a shower so I won't risk overflowing the tub.
It is quite discouraging to take a bath where not only your knees poke out but your belly, breasts and arms do as well, not to mention when you get up and find the tub was ever only 1/4 filled and you really displaced THAT MUCH water.
16. So my pants won't wear out between my legs while the rest of them are still in good shape.
Enough said.
17. I want to be able to read the scale by just looking down, straight down.
No more looking to the side, or having to step off to try and see the number before it disappears.
18. I don't ever want to feel my fat jiggle again!
19. So I can look in the mirror from the neck down and like what I see.
20. To feel strong and fit again.
21. So I can show off my muscles, instead of just feeling fat.
22. So I can play with my children!
23. So I can drive any car and not just my car that I have adjusted to my size and feel comfortable.
24. So I don't feel like I'm reclining while sitting in a chair, because my butt sticks out further than my back.
25. So I can walk up a flight of stairs and not feel winded.
26. So I can wear tight jeans.
27. So I can get up and dance and not feel weird or like I look stupid.
28. So I can go on rides at amusement parks, without stuffing myself into the seat shamefully.
29. So I don't have to worry about the maximum weight an exercise machine can take before I use it.
30. I want to deprive my cats of a perching spot on my chest because it’s too small.
31. So I don't get that pitying look when I go to a gym to work out.
32. So I can lay outside and suntan on my front lawn if I want.
33. I want to wear underwear that looks cute and dainty, not something industrial.
34. So I can buy lingerie that fits, and looks good.
35. So I can buy lingerie without getting weird looks from store clerks or other customers.
36. So getting dressed every morning is a joy and not a dreaded chore.
37. So I'm when people start talking about weight loss, I don't feel they mean me.
38. So no one ever calls me "a big girl" ever again.
39. So I'm not embarrassed to have my picture taken.
40. So when my photo is taken with my family I don't have to groan inside myself as I know how terrible I am going to make the family picture look.
41. So I don't get those indents on my thighs from the arms of the chair I'm sitting in.
42. So I can cross my legs.
43. So I can walk in heels without fear.
44. So I can put my jeans in the dryer, have a shower, get out of the shower, walk to the dryer and just pull my jeans on, instead of waiting to really, really dry off and then fight to get the zipper up.
45. So I can put my clothes in the dryer and forget to check the timer, and not worry about them fitting.
46. So my bras don't stretch on the sides, or get pulled seams.
47. So I can crawl around on the floor hooking up computer cables without wondering how bad I look.
48. So I can look in a full-length mirror with pride, instead of despair.
49. So I can get up from the floor in one smooth move and not a grab and hold on to something move.
50. So I can get on with my life!!!!!!!!!!!!
51. So those stupid gowns at the doctors or chiropractors not only fit, but also are too big.
52. So I can show off my legs, instead of monster thighs.
53. So I can look good in a business suit or a short skirt, instead of always wearing loose clothing over and over again.
54. So I can lie in bed, look down and see my toes without lifting my head off the pillow.
55. So I don't have to worry about what fits in the closet and what doesn't.
56. So I don't have to worry about the seasons changing, and will my summer/winter clothes still fit.
57. So I don't fear the onset of summer and light clothing.
58. So I don't crave wintertime, so I can hide under big jackets and sweaters.
59. So I don't think mean, nasty or jealous thoughts when I see skinny women.
60. So my doctor will never say, "you really need to lose some weight" to me ever again, but instead says nothing more than "see you next year".
61. So people in the supermarket don't look in my cart when they think I'm not looking, to see what a "fat person" eats.
62. So I can say my weight out loud with pride.
63. So I can say to other people who are overweight, hey, I was there once too, and maybe help them get to where they want to be.
64. So I don't wonder if people are saying, "what is HE doing with HER "? (My man is 6', 165lbs and can eat anything)
65. So I don't have to worry about my bathroom scales breaking.
66. So I don't feel I have to give excuses for being over weight.
67. So I can shave my legs in a shower without having to pause because all my weight braced on one leg is just too much for any length of time.
68. So I can ride a horse without worrying if I will crush its spine!
69. So I can go out fishing with friends, and not be scared to get on the boat because I'm so heavy I might sink or tip it.
70. So my children don't remember me as fat
71. No "beached whale" comments, anywhere.
72. So I can go into public and not care what type of looks I get.
73. So I can sit on a bar stool and I'm actually sitting ON it, not on it and around it too.
74. So a regular towel goes all the way around me and looks cute/sexy instead of the huge gaping triangle exposing all my rolls with a beach towel that's too small.
75. So I can hug my knees to my chest, and it’s comfortable.
76. So I can sit on a chair, and have my feet on that chair too, and not be sitting on them.
77. So I can wear a low cut neckline and my collarbones show.
78. So I can wear a light blouse or sweater, and there aren't dents where my bra straps are.
79. So I don't have to worry about arthritis or joint replacement when I get older.
80. So furniture doesn't groan when I sit on it, or wear out long before it should because I'm too heavy.
81. So I never have to look at someone else with envy again, thinking, "Wow, I wish I was that thin".
82. I want to lose weight so that my breasts stick out more than my stomach and not the other way around.
83. I can sit comfortably in the lawn chair all the way instead of sitting on the edge with the arms pinching me.
84. I can fit into the theatre seats comfortably.
85. I can sit at the booth OR table in the restaurant. I don't have to be embarrassed because I need a table or a special chair without arms.
86. I can look straight down and see my toes instead of bending over to see them.
87. I can bend over comfortably to tie my shoes.
88. Better sex, being able to do things I currently can't because my weight either physically stops me or causes me embarrassment.
89. No more New Years Resolution to 'lose weight this time'.
90. Instead of sweating bullets when it's hot, I would only get a little damp in the normal areas.
91. I can Zumba for fun and social interaction instead of specifically to lose weight
92. Have sex with the lights ON!
93. So I can travel to visit people I haven't seen in a long time and not be embarrassed that I am much bigger than I was last time they saw me.
94. I don't want my children to be embarrassed of their HUGE mom when they go to school
95. I don't have to count calories ever again!
96. Not being embarrassed of raising my arms so that everyone can see the flab hanging off of them.
97. To be able to fit in a wedding dress of my choice if I ever decide to get married again and not feel like Shamu
98. So, I don't have to feel the awful acid reflux (GERD) burning up my throat when I eat ever again
99. So I don't feel like a lazy slob when I sit down to relax
100. To live a long full life with my babies

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