Friday, December 7, 2012

Day 1 - Again

I survived day 1. Again.

I did not weigh myself. Partly because I think that scale obsession is part of my problem and also because a few days ago when I weighed after a particularly bad binge my weight was off the scale charts and it just went ---- and blanked out. OUCH!

I have been doing 60 minutes of Zumba every other day for the past two weeks and hope to incorporate a strength and toning session on the in-between days. My body is extremely sore from just those every other days though so we will see.

I ate well today. Stayed within calories (less than 1500) and wasn't particularly tempted to eat.

Like this only with hands linked 
I discovered I may have a hereditary condition that apparently both my mom and my sister have where my body produces abnormally excessive amounts of Relaxin which is the hormone that allows ligaments and tissues to go soft during pregnancy. Well, apparently we produce it in mass quantities even when we are not pregnant. I always wondered why I could turn my feet backward (no joke, I can literally turn then so they are facing behind me) and then why I had pelvic displasia during both my pregnancies. This was the reason. My point being is that being the weight I am and being able to do a side stretch where I can quite literally extend my arms, linked at the hands above my head perpendicular to my body is quite unique. I can stand with my feet together, legs straight and place my palms on the ground in front of me also. I wonder how I would be able to stretch if I didn't have all this extra girth to impede the distance I could go.

In addition to extra Relaxin, my body is also apparently responding to some stressors by manifesting thick and peeling skin on the bottom of my feet. A shower, a PedEgg and some Aveeno lotion inside some thick socks is helping, but I have never seen such thick chunks of skin just peel off someone's body. (Mind you it is painless - in fact it really has no sensation like itch or burn and no odor which makes me think it isn't any kind of fungus... ideas?)

And lastly, my ex husband is getting on my nerves. He has forgotten that he is in my life and my girls' life because I want him there and not because he has this innate right to be there. He has become very demanding, emotionally of me and I am beginning to resent it a bit. Tonight while saying goodnight to my oldest daughter (4 years old) over the phone she got a bit exasperated by his long windedness and said, "It's time for bed daddy!" to which he responded, "I'm your father, and I'm talking to you. You have to listen to me." He then continued to berate her about her wanting to get off the phone. This mama bear was none to happy about that little comment. I refuse to allow my children to be verbally abused by anyone, let alone their father.

So now starts day 2. ((Closes eyes and takes a deep breath)) I can do this.

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