Saturday, December 15, 2012

Having a Hard Time Here





First, I would like to apologize for my language yesterday on my previous post. I will not take it down because in that moment that was how I felt, but it is not my MO to use the F word. That is one word I just never use. It is too vulgar and offensive, but yesterday it fit. It just fit. But for those of you who happened on my blog for the first time, I apologize. I don’t speak like that and I don’t write like that. I was just horribly offended and distraught over the shootings.



That said, I am having a hard time recuperating from yesterday.

I have to TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT or images and intense emotions overwhelm me and I can only sit and cry imagining how those parents must feel right now with empty arms and empty hearts. How the one teacher who tried to shield her students and was shot to death must have felt. I sit re-living a horror I have never actually lived through and it torments me. I look at my beautiful babies and think I would rather die a thousand painful and torturous deaths than know my babies ever suffered that kind of fear or pain. The only solace is that those innocent babies are in the Lord’s presence. That they feel no more pain. They feel no more fear. They no longer belong to this evil and chaotic world. They are home. Truly home, in the arms of the one true father.


Yet here we are, left. Scared.

Yesterday someone posted on my facebook that in lieu of these shootings and violence they have stepped away from Christianity because they can’t believe in a God who would allow these things to happen.

But it isn’t God who does this. It isn't God who is evil. On the contrary He is the ultimate good and now when this world is so erratic and tumultuous and violent is not the time to push Him away. It is the time to bring Him ever closer. It is the people who ‘step away from Christianity’ who are allowing the complete and utter eradication of God in this country and he is using these acts of atrocity for His glory. He is calling 
His people to turn to Him. To lean into Him. Not to walk away from Him.


Because no matter how hard we push Him away 
and no matter how much we delete him from our buildings, our traditions, our currency, our daily thought, He IS still here. He always will be. We here on earth have free will, and the darkness has become hard to fight because it is everywhere. The Light is getting harder and harder to see, and it is often hidden in places we don’t want to look; the silver lining so to speak. The positive in the unimaginably horrific. But it is here. HE IS HERE. This, (the shootings, the ugliness, the sin that has corrupted this world) is not his plan but He uses these horrible situations for His Glory and His good - to wake others up, to get us past hate and back to LOVE. To bring us closer to Him. To call upon Him. To rely ONLY on Him. If we can't retrieve LOVE for each other and for our God and bring it back to this country and to this world, the healing won't begin. Keep God closer still, and know - REALLY KNOW - that no matter what happens, there will be a reuniting of His Children in another, better place.

I rely on this knowledge to give me peace, to push me through and to keep me sane through all of this.

Prayers for those families who lost their babies.

Prayers for those families who lost wives, daughters, husbands, sons, brothers, sisters.

Prayers for the police, firemen, EMTs, Paramedics, Nurses, Doctors and other emergency response 
personnel that had to deal professionally with such utter horror.

Prayers for the town of Sandy Hook.

Prayers for the people all over this country who grieve and mourn.

And prayers for this country and that God might bless it, even though the people are doing everything in their power to make sure He doesn’t.


THANK YOU LORD 
FOR SENDING YOUR SON

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