Thursday, January 31, 2013

Learning to LOVE Torture Exercise

I remember in my high school years and even before that, and then after my high school years I hated exercise. I literally loathed it. I hated sweating. I hated the burn in my muscles. I hated being out of breath. There was nothing I did like about it at all. I especially hated being sore afterward.

It is crazy how our perspective on life can change our mind set so easily.

Now, it is a completely different story. When I do Zumba I love the way it makes me feel. I love to sweat. The more I sweat, the more effective I feel my exercise is. I especially like when I am cooling down and I see sweat drips all over the floor. It makes me feel accomplished. I love the sensation of stretching, moving, elongating muscles. It no longer just feels uncomfortable, but in my mind's eye I actually visualize a little man with a hammer and chisel forming the grooves of my muscles and pulling and stretching them and growing them and making them strong. I don't get out of breath as easily as I used to but even when I do get out of breath now, I have learned how to regulate my breathing so I don't feel like I might hyperventilate. And as for being sore afterward, I liken it to proof of my efforts. I now especially love being sore because I can pinpoint what exercise I did to make that muscle hurt that way. It is pretty friggin awesome.

I am officially an exercise loving convert. 

And instead of feeling like this when I exercise

I feel like this

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Family Trip to Dinsyeland

For those of you who don't know, I grew up in the formerly small (now overflowingly huge) town of Thousand Oaks, California. I was born there, moved to Newbury Park, then to Simi Valley all within about a 30 mile radius which are all about 45-60 minutes away from Los Angeles. (I went to school with kids from Step By Step - if anyone remembers that show) hung out at the park where Will Smith played Basketball often and my sister later went to school with the kids of one of the Dukes of Hazard and Will Smith's son Trey)

Thus, and getting back to the point, we were always no further away from Disneyland than about 1-1.5 hours drive. When I was in elementary school sometimes my mom would out of the blue declare a 'hooky' day and take me and my sister to Disneyland for the day. It was rare not to visit the magical land at least twice in a 6 month span. I spent countless birthdays there including my 7th which I got to take a limo there and spend the night at the DL Hotel. It is a Newbury Park High School (where I attended all 4 years) tradition for Grad Night to be spent at Disneyland and spend it there I did. To say that Disney Magic is replicable is absolute nonsense. You cannot duplicate, replicate or put a price of Walt Disney Magic. There is a sense of absolute childhood bliss that overwhelms you me whenever I step food inside those green gates and see the heads of the original Disney characters carved into the bushes.

This last September I took my daughters for the first time with my grandparents. It was a beautifully wonderful experience. 1 night in Downtown Disney followed by 2 days in Disneyland and California Adventure (I am not fond of that but I am native California so I kinda don't get the novelty a non native might get) and 2 nights at the Paradise Pier Hotel. Breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen with the characters, character photo ops, rides, yummy nummy food and just all the magic that Disneyland offers.

Well, I am so excited that my grandpa had so much fun he is offering to take us again between May and August 2013. Not sure of the dates yet, but we will spend 5 (YAY 5) days there this time! And hopefully we will be able to take in addition to the girls, myself and my grandparents, my mom, my sister, my aunt, uncle and cousin too! That would be AWESOME! I am sooooo friggin excited. I only pray that it actually comes to fruition and that nothing happens between now and that time to stop the trip.

I am also hoping to be, uh, (counting on my fingers with cramping brain as I try to attempt mathematical equations) between 75lbs - 135lbs down (depending on whether we go in May or August) 75lbs down would put me at 248lbs which would only be 18lbs away from my status quo weight in the beginning of my high school career. And 135lbs down would put me at 188lbs which would be the very very lowest I would have ever weighed as an adult. (My lowest weight so far has been 203lbs) And would put me at only 38lbs away from goal. Can I do that?


I am so excited and I am going to try and find a countdown ticker for weight loss each month so I can meet my monthly goals. Whoop!

DISNEY FREAK UNITE - Did I seriously just type that?

Yeah, I guess I did.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Follow Up Post Weigh In Shtuff

Last night sucked so bad! Sassy coughed and coughed and just could not stay asleep. I slept propped up so she could sleep on me propped up and even then she hacked and coughed and choked and it was just awful. 

Which brings me to this morning and my weigh in which I was very happy with and my measurements which I am even happier with and my progress photos which, meh, they're getting there. 

My gramma brought coffee as is our every other morning tradition and we talked about life. Particularly Mr. A who told me in many many more words than this, that he doesn't ever want to get back with me for XY & Z but would I please let him take us to Disneyland. WTF? Who starts out a conversation, "I promised to love and cherish you till death do us part but I've decided I don't want you anymore, even though I still do love and cherish you and oh by the way can we all go to Disneyland like one big happy family?" ????? I mean seriously, he must be on something.

After that hilarious conversation we did our hour of Zumba and we both moaned and groaned. My gramma because she has taken such a long weekend break from it and me because my children would not just sit down and behave for the hour to let me finish my workout!

By the time we were done with our workout it was nearly lunch time and all I had for breakfast was my coffee and creamer. My gramma had planned to watch the girls while I ran to get the required emissions test for my car and then renew my registration. 

(I THINK IT IS SO STUPID THAT A 2008 CAR HAS TO HAVE AN EMISSIONS TEST. But here in WA all cars do, I guess - such a waste of $15) 

Anyway, so I hopped in my car and drove down Main Street where I decided I was going to need to eat. Not a lot on Main Street except fast food. Burgerville, McDonalds, Jack in the Box etc. I decided I would do as little damage as possible and get a 4 piece chicken nugget kids meal from McD's because it is 310 cals for the whole meal including apple slices. However, there were at least 4 cars in EACH lane of the double laned drive through and I needed to get going and get back so my daughters didn't drive my gramma out of her mind.

I drove to Jack in the Box which is directly across from the gas station where I needed gas and ordered the burger with the least calories. (Jack in the box labels their drive thru menu with calorie content) I then got gas and was on my way to the emission testing center.

The drive there was uneventful except that it took nearly 20 minutes longer than the normal 20 minute drive because of road construction. When I did finally arrive I felt like I was being arrested and charged for something. As I pull up the emissions lady growls at me, "Payment." I hand her my debit card. She runs it, hands it back to me and growls again, "Step out of the vehicle and go sit over there." She points to a plastic chair that is 3/4 enclosed in glass walls. I sit, sip my diet coke, wait and wait and freeze to death because it is 30 degrees outside and the drafty blowing under the garage of the emission center has got to have a windchill of at most 20 but I imagine less. When the check was done she waves at me hastily, "Take a seat in the vehicle and I will bring your report if you passed." Which of course my car that is only 5 years old with less than 45,000 miles on it did. 

On the way home as I drove through the stupid construction a song came on that had me really thanking God for showing me that I am okay without Mr. A because I had really been struggling in my mind and heart. Let it Fade by Jeremy Camp:

Have you been walking on a surface that's uncertain?Have you helped yourself to everything that's empty?You can't live this way too longThere's more than this, more than this
Have you been standing on your own feet too long?Have you been looking for a place where you belong?You can rest, you will find restYou can rest, you will find rest

Let this old life crumble, let it fadeLet this new life offered be your saving graceLet this old life crumble, let it fadeLet it fade

Have you been holding on to what this world has offered?Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?It will be gone, forever goneIt will be gone, it will be gone

Are you carrying the weight too much?You're running from the call, let it fadeYou can rest, you will find restYou can rest, you will find rest

Have you been standing on your own feet too long?Have you been looking for a place where you belong?

I cried a little, prayed a lot and was able to get to the Driver Licensing place in one piece. 

After that the day went by in a whirlwind of putting together closet paraphernalia for my new room in my apartment, hanging hilarious cat photos that remind me of myself, children smacking themselves with vomit buckets and jumping off tables and bruising their butts. 

And unfortunately I stress ate to the tune of 600 extra calories. 

I am not happy with myself. I am not happy that I caved to my stress. But I do acknowledge it and it isn't so detrimental as to make me sway from my goal. For the rest of the week I just need to be extra careful and of course Zumba my ever loving heart out.

Because I plan to lose at least 15lbs in February due to the short month and at least another 20lbs in March. Goals people. Goals. I can do this. You can do this. We can all do this. WE JUST HAVE TO ACTUALLY WANT TO DO IT AS BAD AS WE SAY WE DO. RIGHT? RIGHT!


Mr. A is texting me right now as I type this. He is telling me about how sick he feels and how he has this chronic headache. He told me he needs vitamins and all the stuff a husband complains to his wife about. I am taking the less is more approach and just agreeing with whatever he says. I really do not know what else to say.

And tomorrow is a new day. 

God bless, my friends!

Monday, January 28, 2013

End of Day 28 - 4 Weeks DOWN

Breezy just walked up to me with her iPad
(Believe me, the irony of a 3 year old having an iPad while I type away on this laptop from the Jurassic era is not lost on me)
Anyway, she hands it to me and and says she wants to look at pictures
(She really likes using google images to see different things like animals, birds, TV characters etc)
I asked her what she wants to see
Baby dead zebras
That was something I had to hear twice to believe she had actually said it
Say, say what?
BABY DEAD ZEBRAS! She yells at me
I tell her, no, you can look at live zebras and google image zebras
Why can't I see baby dead zebras?
Because, sweetheart, it isn't fun to look at hurt and sick and dead animals
I like it, she says
(Insert pulling out my hair as I rack my brain as to how my 3 year old could be so morbid)
I emphatically tell her to look at the LIVE zebras
She gives me this face and declares in a growly voice

Well Okay then!
Meanwhile my poor Sass is sitting with her 'potty bucket' while watching Nickelodeon because she feels like she's going to throw up
This is after she INSISTED on cleaning her bedroom because Breezy had made such a mess
My little clean freak
How I love her

And I have made a discovery!
When my face gets thinner, not only do my eyes get bigger but my jawline is slowly emerging!

And this shirt
Which I bought in September at Disneyland size 2x and was so tight on me that I had to stretch it to mass proportions and even then it was slightly tight

My eats today:

Breakfast was smart ones quesadilla, coffee and creamer

Lunch was Greek pita with 1/3 cup hummus and half honey crisp apple

snack was pop chip chips (ranch)

Dinner was about 8oz of tuna salad with mayo, celery and onions

After dinner snack was 1/4 cup PB2 with chocolate and a banana

And my eats are done for the day


By the way, thank you to all the comments about the calories for that soup.

I have been a member of forever and didn't know they had that recipe calculating feature.

And as for my last post, thank you for the inspiration and encouragement!

It means so much!

Stay tuned . . .  

Sitting With the Love of My LifeEnemy

He's here.

Mr. A.

He's sitting on my couch with his arms crossed.


Every once in a while he turns to download iPad games that cost a fortune for my 3 and 4 year olds.

He has been here for an hour

And he has spoken less than 5 words to me.

He has taken off his 'until infinity' ring I gave him.

The one he swore never to take off.

Until Infinity and Back is what we promised. 

To love each other regardless of circumstance.

But I'm okay with that.

At first I felt hurt, but then I remembered he told me he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.


I will be okay.

My definition of infinity is different than his.


I do still love him.

I will always love him. 

He was my first love.

My only love so far in my life.

He was my everything.

(( deep breath ))

I am strong and I can handle this

Infinity for him is conditional

The exact thing he accuses me of being

I don't think he grasps the definition of unconditional

Regardless, here I am

Writing because he won't talk to me

No civil conversation even

Just, 'what was my iTunes password?'

And yes, those were the 5 words he spoke to me

I miss what we had

I don't want who he is

He has changed

I miss who he was

But I am not sure that person exists any longer

Oh well

Life goes on right?

I have a new healthy life style with weight loss and a new body to look forward to

I have two beautiful, wonderful little girls who make me want to pull out my hair but in the end are the reason I wake up every morning and the reason my lungs have breath

I will be okay

Mostly because God is with me

He understands my pain

He walks me through my trials

Like in the Footprint's poem.

But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life 
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. 
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, 
“ The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, 
my child, is when I carried you.”

I particularly like the add on

And that long line in the sand before I carried you was when I dragged you.

I do not feel as though I am being dragged

I do not feel that I need to be carried

I can do this with Jesus at my side, step by step the rest of the way in this life

I can

Sunday, January 27, 2013

How Would You Calculate These Calories?

I have my own recipe for Chicken Chowder

The ingredients are as follows: 3 Leeks, 1 large white Onion, Thyme, parsley, Basil leaves, 3 Celery stalks, a can of Carrots, 1 bell pepper, 1lb Potatoes, 3 chopped chicken breast, 2 boxes chicken broth, 1 cup 2% milk, and 2 TBSP butter (to soften/brown some of the veggies)

Not Mine
This is taken from Google
BUT this is very similar to what mine looks like
My gramma attempted the recipe several nights ago but the leeks, onion, celery and bell peppers are supposed to be chopped finely or minced. Well, I don't know if she didn't read my instructions or she just didn't want to but we ended up with huge chunks of these veggies in the chowder. Yuck!! Nothing like chewing on a huge chunk of leek. Anyway, we ate it that way the first night, but tonight I thought it might feel good on Sassy's sore throat. However, I knew she would NOT eat all those huge onions and celery and leeks. So, I scooped out all the potatoes, chicken and carrots and poured the rest in the blender. Then I poured it all into the pot and added the potatoes, chicken and carrots. After I served Breezy and Sassy their bowls I went to serve myself a bowl and found there to be only 'broth' left. I guess there were a few minuscule chunks of potatoes and very minimal chicken pieces that counted more as chicken strings, haha and NO CARROTS (sad)

So, I ended up eating around 3 cups of the broth which contained mostly blended leeks, onion, celery, thyme, bell pepper, the chicken broth and the milk and butter from the chowder.

How would YOU go about calculating the calories or would you just take a wild guess?

I just cannot wrap my mind around it.


Lazy Sunday Sickies














Saturday, January 26, 2013

Control Vs Out of Control



Tonight my girls wanted pizza

Pizza is a trigger food for me

I can eat an entire large pizza by myself

and then top it off with buffalo wings, cheesy bread and brownie bites

Washing it all down with DIET soda

Back to tonight

My girls want pizza

I order pizza

Small, cheese only

That is 6 small slices

I calculated how many calories I had already eaten

How many I had left

Investigated how many calories are in one slice of pizza from a small, cheese only Dominos pizza

190-210 calories per slice 

I gave 1 slice each to the girls and took 2 for myself

2 slices left

Breezy didn't even eat all of her first slice

Sassy ate all her first slice and asked for a second

I waited for my third because I DID want it

But I would give it to Sassy if she was that hungry

Especially since she is sick and an appetite is hard to come by with her

She only took two bites of her second piece and said she was full

So I took my third piece

570-600 calories for dinner

With enough calories left over for a Fiber One Brownie dessert

But that was NOT my NSV

My NSV was when I picked up Sassy and Breezy's plates

Old me would have scarfed up their leftover pieces

They would have literally been gone in seconds with minimal thought

What did I do instead?

I hustled to the sink and tossed the remains down the garbage disposal



This may seem trivial to some

But for anyone who has suffered through compulsive binging

They understand the accomplishment

The true success of that

How I went from an out of control morbidly obese woman

To a totally IN CONTROL ready to lose all this extra baggage woman

I feel so good about that

I personally aspire to look like her             ^
Have you had any NSV's this week?

And another question

I think this picture on the left is unhealthy looking 
and it seems ironic that they would choose someone so thin for a healthy eating promotion. 
I think the picture to the right of the girl in the middle or on the right looks much healthier. 
What do you think?

Would You Rather . . .

So, I follow the blog ENJOYING THE EPIPHANY and she posted a Would You Rather post. I love question and answer posts. I may be the only one but I do. So here is the game and I will add my own rule.

Copy and paste the questions in your blog and comment on THIS  post so I can read your answers. My answers will be below the original questions.


#1: Would you rather only read all but the last chapter of every book you read or only watch the last ten minutes of every movie you watch?
#2:  Would you rather eat something completely disgusting or do something incredibly embarrassing in public?
#3:  Would you rather write an awful book that is loved by millions while you are alive or write an amazing classic that is cherished by millions after your death?
#4:  Would you rather live life unable to communicate your true feelings or live life unable to filter your feelings (good and bad)?
#5:  Would you rather be trapped in a box with a mime or have to ride in a clown car with six clowns?
#6:  Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your great grandchildren?
#7:  Would you rather have the memories of somebody that you loved and lost or not remember them?
#8:  Would you rather believe in Hakuna Matata or YOLO?
#9:  Would you rather vacation on a tropical island or a cabin in the mountains?
#10: Would you rather eat monkey brains or live crickets?


#1: Would you rather only read all but the last chapter of every book you read or only watch the last ten minutes of every movie you watch?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE books so I would never be able to start a book I didn't finish. So I would pick the last ten minutes of a movie, hands down.

#2:  Would you rather eat something completely disgusting or do something incredibly embarrassing in public?
I have tried my share of disgusting things (cow brains anyone?) and I have had my share of public embarrassment so from experience I would say public embarrassment hands down. That you will get over. The taste and texture of something nasty will never leave you.

#3:  Would you rather write an awful book that is loved by millions while you are alive or write an amazing classic that is cherished by millions after your death?

I would rather write an amazing classic cherished by millions after my death. I am a writer anyway (my book is called Evanescent by the way) and it would make my heart pump chocolate to know everyone loved it
#4:  Would you rather live life unable to communicate your true feelings or live life unable to filter your feelings (good and bad)?
I would rather have no filter. I have a hard enough time communicating my feelings in any other way but written word so I would love to just be able to say what I think without concern of consequence

#5:  Would you rather be trapped in a box with a mime or have to ride in a clown car with six clowns?
Clowns really don't scare me, and mimes are kinda cool. But I would go stir crazy not being able to talk to someone so I would choose the clowns (unless they were the creeper clowns with sharp teeth or something)

#6:  Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your great grandchildren?
I would choose my ancestors. I have a chance at ACTUALLY meeting my great grandchildren. My grandpa knew his great grandparents, my mom knew hers, I knew mine and my kids know theirs so I would love to meet the people that came before me.

#7:  Would you rather have the memories of somebody that you loved and lost or not remember them?
Memories are beautiful no matter how painful. I would never choose to forget someone I loved.

#8:  Would you rather believe in Hakuna Matata or YOLO?

Hakuna Matata. It suits my life and fits into my morals and values. YOLO goes against my values. (I'm being half sarcastic half serious)
#9:  Would you rather vacation on a tropical island or a cabin in the mountains?
Tropical island. Cabins in the mountains make me bored just thinking about them. A tropical island makes me think of beaches and coconuts and wild animals and warmth!

#10: Would you rather eat monkey brains or live crickets?

Monkey brains. I refuse to eat anything while it is still alive and moving. That is just disgusting.

YOUR TURN IF YOU SO CHOOSE! Don't forget to comment to let me know you did it! I can't wait to read your answers.

It's OK, I Can Handle It

Five words:


The last 24 hours have been . . .

Well, let me show you.

This was what we found in my daughters' bedroom yesterday. At first we thought it was blood. The same color was rubbed into the sheets on the lower trundle bed, the extra blankets we use when it gets too cold and on the walls. Breezy sat on the floor with her hands behind her back, the very same color smeared across her face and down her arms. All we could think was that she had cut herself because she kept hiding her hands behind her back and when we asked her what happened she wouldn't answer. Her eyes just got red as she teared up. But then I saw half of a stick of maroonish lipstick lying against one of the baseboards.

It took me 2 solid hours on my hands and knees using Resolve to get MOST of the lipstick out of the carpet. I scrubbed and rubbed and soaked and pressed with brushes and towels. I think I got a little high on the mixture of cleaning fumes and paint fumes from the other room where my grandpa was still painting my closet and gluing the wooden boards down. Then my grandpa brought in the BIG GUNS. Some super secret and super powerful nameless white tub of powder that he sprinkled all over the still visible pink after first spraying it with a secret
 spray solution.

We let it sit for 30 minutes and I worried and fretted about it sitting there while my kitties slept several feet away. I know cats are generally smarter than to eat chemicals. But Emma is Emma and she isn't the brightest star or the sharpest crayon so I wouldn't put it past her to go eat all the powder and either mess up her digestion again (at the least) or kill herself. After those 30 minutes I vacuumed it up but there was still a significant pink stain so he sprayed the secret solution again and powdered the floor again and we left for his birthday dinner.
 I ate the gyro salad I had said I would and caved to eating a few of Sassy's fries. Not too many though, maybe 7 or 8. We then went to have frozen yogurt across the street where they have the most amazing frozen yogurt flavor called Cake Batter. I add fresh strawberries to that and it tastes like strawberry short cake. It is so very very yummy-licious. 

When we went home I vacuumed up the dust and this (the photo to the right) is what was left. If you look hard you can see a little pink stain but considering the original mess that is a pretty insane clean up. I am satisfied and don't feel quite so guilty about my heathen child. 

The day didn't end there. Last night was about the worst night of my mommy experience. Sassy got a sore throat and started coughing up phlegm about as soon as we got home. By bedtime she was miserable but fell asleep and didn't cough for about 30 minutes. Inside that 30 minutes I started the latest episode of the Vampire Diaries with my mom but had to stop because she started coughing and then  choking and I had to go sit with her. The night went something like this:

  • 8:00 bedtime
  • 8:25 girls are both asleep
  • 8:30 started Vampire diaries
  • 9:05 Sassy starts coughing uncontrollably and I go to comfort her
  • 9:15 she is isn't being comforted so I tell my mom to finish VD without me and I cuddle Sassy up in her blanket and bring her to the sofa where she nuzzles in and falls asleep with sporadic coughing fits. I watch the rest of VD on Hulu, check my blog, check my e-mail, read some other blogs, check a bill, read some more and rest.
  • 10:15 she has been sleeping well so I put her in bed where she immediately starts hacking and coughing
  • 10:20 I put Vicks on her feet and cover them in socks and pull her into bed with me (did I mention I sleep in a twin bed?)
  • 10:30 I lay down and try to sleep
  • 11:00, 11:45, 12:30, 12:45, 1:50, 2:30, 3:30, 4:15, 5:05, 6:00, & 7:00 I wake up to blow noses, get drinks of water, take children to potty, blow some more noses, comfort coughing fits, prop up Sassy's head, cover her up, move her from the center of the bed to the side so I can fit and not fall off, and so on and so forth.

    I slept a total of MAYBE 3 total hours last night. AND THAT IS BEING EXTREMELY GENEROUS.
  • 7:15 they wake me up because they want to watch TV in the front room and don't want me to 'sleep' anymore.
Now I look like this because I slept on my left side, pillows tipping me up uncomfortably from the waist so Sassy could be propped up with one arm stretched up under and above my head. 

To soothe Sassy's sore throat (because she was a crazy little girl and didn't like the ginger tea I made her with honey and a little lime - I took a sip and it was soooo good) and to make something more or less healthy for all of us to eat I made some homemade chicken noodle soup and I will pat myself on the back and say it was so yummy at only 340 cals for 2 cups. I didn't have any carrots so I used green beans and the only pasta I had was tri color rotini but it was still fantastic with onion, parsley, bouillon, chicken broth, boneless chicken breast, thyme, salt and pepper.

Now the girls are playing playdough (you would never know Sass was sick from her cheeser) Breez can't be bothered to really smile) and I am resting. I did my hour of Zumba this morning and plan to do more a little later. I HURT SO GOOD! But I am seriously exhausted. 

3 more days till week 4's weigh in! I'm kinda excited!

Friday, January 25, 2013

My Muscles Hurts And I Am Happy About That

This morning I did the 20 minute zumba abs with my gramma. Mind you, I have done this workout dozens upon dozens of time. But I have not done it this past week. So after a full week of only doing the 1 hour Zumba DVD my gramma wanted to do something short. We had commented yesterday after the hour workout that we were sore. Well today doing the abs workout was almost (EMPHASIS ON ALMOST) impossible because of how it worked out the sore muscles from yesterday. BUT IT ALSO FELT SO GOOD! My biceps, triceps, upper back and shoulder muscles and my abs and obliques are ON FIRE and I am so happy about this. It means I am working them correctly. I HAVE MUSCLES! I can feel them! I can work them out! It used to be I was just sore and tired and lethargic after a workout and EVERYTHING HURT. Now not everything is sore, just the parts of my body that I workout! It is FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC! I have also found that when doing knee lifts I can lift my knee much higher and with MUCH MUCH MUCH less effort because my lower stomach has shrunk.

While my gramma and I did our zumba the girls 'helped' my grandpa paint my room. If I haven't mentioned it before my grandpa is a contractor/unofficial architect and he built me my own apartment attached to my mom's house.

My couch looks a little dilapidated on the right
because I was just sitting there.

This is the front room from different angles and the following picture is of my 'not yet finished bedroom'. There is another bedroom for the girls and inside my bedroom and around the corner is our bathroom but that will be saved for later posts.

The purple wall in the background is actually a closet.
It is dark purple and the rest of the room will be Lavender Ice to give the room depth. 
My chicklets having fun painting one of the unfinished walls
While great papa finishes the closet

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Emma, who just got back from the vet due to what we thought was a bowel obstruction but just happened to be a very serious case of constipation is doing therapy with her new water bowl. Her fur looks the way it does because we just 'bathed' her after an explosive bout of poopy nastiness. 

Today is my grandpa's 65th birthday and we will be celebrating at the Greek restaurant I love so much. Perhaps you remember the photo of the Greek Gyro salad I posted several weeks back. That is my plan for dinner. MMM MMM MMM

I have recovered mostly from my Mr. A depression and drama. I feel renewed and feel more valuable as a human being than I have in a long time. Last night he asked me to listen to some reflections and other biblical teachings on Youtube. I did and while interesting, it was from a minister of the New Faith Movement which believes that IF YOU HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO NOT BE SICK, TO NOT HAVE PAIN AND TO BE RICH. I don't believe in that. I believe God allows suffering and even says that there will be great suffering in the Bible. But we are to draw nearer to Him because He will not give us anything that we cannot handle.

Okay, enough of being preachy. I am just feeling very Thankful to God for everything He has given me and the peace he showers down on me when I feel as though my heart can't beat, as if my lungs won't inflate. 

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