Thursday, January 17, 2013

I Am A Blog Whore ... Or Am I?

I love love love reading other people's blog. Like really truly honestly love reading about other peoples' lives and weight loss journey, their kids and their spouses, their food and their travels. I love reading about politics and religion (even ones that differ from my own - in fact I like learning about religions and political views that differ from my own. Sometimes you learn something new, sometimes you can have an enlightening conversation, or worst case scenario you can simply be entertained by the other persons *perceived* ignorance) I must say though that the successful or half way to success weight loss journeys are the ones that really catch my attention. But there is something else too. Some blogs I come across and the author just posts pics of what they eat. I'm not too impressed with those. Some authors write tons and tons and tons about this and that and numbers but with no photos at all, and I'm not too impressed by that either. I guess what really impresses me are the people who put themselves out there in more aspects than just one; such as just their food. Just their exercise. I really enjoy getting to know people and almost bonding (?) over similar experiences or insecurities or what have you.

That being said, I love the more simple blog also. Sometimes it is nice to just look at pictures and sometimes you are in the mood to read big long excerpts of a persons life. I am in no way singling out anyone because I don't follow people just to follow them. If I have followed you it is because I enjoy your blog. Period.

*                                           *                                           *

Many hours elapsed in the creation of this post from the previous section to this one. 

I kinda fell off the wagon, but held on with my nails and teeth and I am hell bent on not allowing my self sabotage tonight dictate continuous sabotage.

Breakfast was coffee with half and half and strawberry oatmeal

Lunch was a Lean Cuisine baked pizza bread and some low cal chips

Snack was a Frigo string cheese stick

I did my hour of Zumba

I got a text message from Mr. A that simultaneously elated and pissed me off
(see above photo to the left - I was part of the 41%)


And I overate tonight.

A lot

I did well until dinner, as you can see from the list above.

My sister had a request for dinner.

So I cooked corned beef hash, eggs and bisquick pancakes for the family.

I waited too long (again) to eat though.

Between snack and dinner 

So, while cooking and while my family ate, I ate a small pancake plain. 

Then I ate another pancake plain.

I then scooped the rest (probably about 1.5 cups) of hash onto a plate, scooped the remaining 2 pancakes onto my plate, added 2TBSP apricot jam to the pancakes and went to town washing it all down with Odwalla Monster C juice. 

OMG

PAIN

I felt absolutely awful 

My bowels let me know they were not pleased with me.

As did my ankles as they swelled with water retention.

It didn't stop there.

I tried to make conscious decisions about my evening snack.

And I will tell you, I should not have eaten any of it because it was all head hunger.

Nothing I thought of or found or ate for that matter satisfied me.

I started with cashews (a serving)

I moved on to pop chips (a serving)

I moved on to grapes thinking something sweet would satisfy my need for munchies

It didn't

I tried 1/2 cup of cottage cheese

And lastly I tried 2 servings of Ritz Crackers with more Odwalla juice

Now I feel like a blue whale



No, literally, I feel like I may burst

Not cool

Not cool AT.ALL.

Back to it tomorrow. 

I will not let this eating problem ruin me. I will beat it. No matter how many times I fall, I will get back up. No matter how many times I fail, I will try again. No matter what I do I will do this and I will learn how to make conscious choices better. 

(SMH)

I am ashamed of myself

I knew better

I know better

I need to show myself I am worth more

I am worth more than everything I can stuff in my mouth

I am worth more than convenience and instant gratification

I am worth being the very best version of me

And with that,

Until tomorrow . . . 



4 comments :

  1. You are not alone...I have become a Blog whore too! For nearly all the same reasons. How awesome is that? I dont feel so alone anymore. There are more people like me out there than I thought. Some are going through the same things as me. Some inspire me to do better, some teach me stuff, some make me laugh. At the end of the day, I am happy to have met these people. Like you! Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much for your comment on my blog! We are totally on the same page! I sometimes feel that all these other bloggers out there are doing so great with food, exercise and life in general! It can make you feel a little bit inadequate that they are out there living these awesome lives and you are getting left behind. But at the end of the day we are all human, we all make mistakes and we either get up and keep going or we lie down and do nothing! I love this post! You are totally worth everything you set your mind to! You are awesome! =) xoxo

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  3. Thank you for visiting my blog! :-)

    As for your eating last night. I liken weight loss to this.....It is an all out war. In a war there are many many battles. Some we win, some we lose. We HAVE to lose some battles because that is where we can sit back and evaluate the tactics that we used. No war is ever won without some losses. It is how we deal with those losses that determine the outcome of the war. Eventually, we will start to win more battles. Pick up the pieces.....evaluate your tactics and prepare for the next battle. You've got this!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for the lovely message you left on my blog, check back as I have responded :)
    Glad i found your blog too now!!
    N xoxo
    breathebeautyfitness.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

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