Monday, January 21, 2013

I'm a Friggin Mess Tonight

Long Day

Breakfast at Ihop = plain waffle and banana with coffee and creamer

Went to the mall. Spent almost 8 hours there, walking and shopping with girls and Mr. A

Emotional and temperamental roller coaster

Lunch was Express Japan = Teriyaki chicken and veggies (no rice or noodles)

I had a lick of the girls ice cream cone (but literally just a lick)

More emotional and temperamental roller coasters as we shopped and shopped and played and shopped

Dinner was Outback Steakhouse = Simply grilled Mahi with mixed veggies and 1/2 loaf of their bread (the 1/2 loaf is a serving and like 120 calories)

Girls didn't want to leave the mall.

They had a hard time going to bed because they were so worked up and excited about the day.

I found out Mr. A has been talking to ANOTHER woman who wanted TO BE with him a few years ago.

I'm sad.

I'm not his wife anymore.

I am glad we don't live together.

I often feel like I need to move on.

But against all logic I DO still love him.

And my heart hurts desperately.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and an appointment with my PCP to talk about my bellybutton. ((sigh))

Hopefully tomorrow looks brighter.

Goodnight

5 comments :

  1. I know that it might be hard but maybe you should work on moving on and letting go of him. You deserve someone better than that. You deserve someone who wants you and only you. Someone who makes you HAPPY.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know how you feel with your marital situation. People tell me that I should leave my husband all the time. It's hard though because I still love him. (I wonder why sometimes...ok, most of the time). The only thing I can say that's working for me is to simply let him go and do his thing and be himself. (I'm still living with mine) Fill the void with making me a better person. I'm controlling the ONLY THING I have control over....and that is my eating and exercise. :-)

    Meanwhile, you did GREAT with eating out! Rock it girl!

    ~~hugs~~

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's tough, hopefully the sad feelings pass. I also agree with Kristina, that you deserve to be with someone who wants you and only you. On the bright side, your girls sound adorable and a day at the mall can't be wrong!

    Do what's best for you :) Keep up the great work!

    ReplyDelete

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