Thursday, January 24, 2013

Responsibility to Oneself

I don't know when it became widely acceptable for people to EXPECT others to make them happy, healthy,  or to give them whatever they wanted whenever they needed it.

I don't know when it became widely acceptable not to take responsibility for your own actions in life instead of blaming your failures or mistakes or errors on other people.

I don't know when it became widely acceptable for people to coddle and reward lazy or hateful or inappropriate or just plain bad behavior instead of allowing the person who is demonstrating such behavior to suffer the consequences, thus learning a lesson and perhaps not repeating the behavior.

I don't know when mediocrity and being average became something to celebrate and esteem while true superiority, skill, genius and brilliance was suppressed so as not to make others feel bad about themselves.

I was reading another blog entry this morning at Losing 147 about responsibility to ourselves and for ourselves.  Go ahead and read it if you like. If you don't it is basically about being responsible for your own health without relying on government or parents or health gurus or exercise nuts to do it for you because you never really know when it is all hype or there is a hidden agenda.

And it is so true. There are so many crazes out there. Low carb. No carb. Atkins. Paleo. Low fat Low carb. No fat high carb. High protein High fat zero carb. There is Weight Watchers and South Beach and Nutrisystem, Medifast, and just so many others that it would probably fill and entire page to list them all. And none of them while simultaneously all of them will work. The key is logic. Eat less. Move more. It sounds ridiculously simple and that is what people want. SIMPLE. But there is no miracle or magic in Eat less, move more. And when people realize this and then realize that it is actually much more difficult than they suspected they stop and go to these 'name brand' or 'popular fad diets' for their magic and miracles only to find out that the rule is the same only with more limits. Eat less. Move more. Only now completely cut the carbs. Or completely cut the fat. Or only eat grapefruit 3 times a day. Not at all logical, really. The point being is that there is no magic. There is no miracle. No one is going to hand you weight loss on a platter. You have to want it bad enough to work for it. Fight for it. AND IT WILL NEVER BE EASY. NOTHING WORTH HAVING COMES EASY. EVER. THERE IS ALWAYS WORK TO BE DONE, AND SOMETHING TO BE SACRIFICED.

In this country we blame a lot of our own failures on other people, other entities, God. We blame everyone and everything except ourselves. Our lack of self awareness and responsibility for what we do is shocking to me. In this day and age someone shoots up a school and it is blamed on the inanimate guns. It couldn't POSSIBLY be the fault of the man who was deemed mentally unstable. In this day and age someone slips outside and it is the the fault of the establishment they had just visited 50 feet away. It couldn't POSSIBLY be the person's own fault for wearing stilettos on black ice. In this day and age if your children don't listen to you and are rebellious and are constantly getting in trouble it must be because they have ADD, ADHD, are on the Aspergers Spectrum, having a learning disability or are mentally impaired in some way. It couldn't POSSIBLY be that your parenting skills are lacking. And in this day and age, if you are fat, unhealthy, diabetic, with heart disease OF COURSE it is McDonald's fault for serving portions far too large and too caloric. Of course it is the government's fault for not providing adequate FREE bariatric or gastric bypass surgeries. Of course it is your employer's fault for working you so many hours and not giving you any time to work out. WE BLAME EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING UNDER GOD'S BLUE SKY but we never think to take responsibility for ourselves.

My grandma recently went to a consignment store and while she was doing business with the store owner, the store owner and another lady were chit chatting about exercise. The store owner was talking about a six minute exercise and the other lady was talking about wanting to get back into running but that she had no time. (In essence she was blaming her work, her family and her lack of time on not running) My grandma brought up Zumba and the store owner was very interested in it. She asked my grandma all sorts of questions. She was informing herself and would eventually make her own decision about whether she would try it or not. The lady who kept making excuses about not running, though, also made excuses about why she would not try Zumba. She isn't coordinated. She doesn't like group classes. My grandma explained to her that she could buy the DVDs and do it at home alone. Instead of just listening and letting it go in one ear and out the other the woman insisted on giving every excuse in the book. I'm not coordinated. I don't have time for a class. I don't know where a class is. I don't have money to buy the DVDs. I have all these extra curricular activities to do with my children. It might be stressful on my bad back. ((grumble grumble)) And so on and so forth. The difference between the store owner and the excuses lady is that the store owner took my grandma's suggestion and did what she needed to with it. The other lady, even though she expressed her WANT for fitness, didn't really want to work for it. She wanted to complain about why she couldn't instead of thinking positively about how she could.

A person who really wants something will find a way to do it, achieve it or buy it. A person who only wants the end goal without the work is only partially committed and is really more comfortable without the thing they think they want.

So, I am taking responsibility for myself. My health, my life, my well being, my happiness. I will work and struggle and fight for this life without EXPECTING others to do it for me. I will not expect my grandparents, my mom, my children or my ex husband to make me happy. I will not expect diet sensations, exercise gurus or anyone but my own common sense and self control to make me healthy and I will DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to make my life and my daughters' lives the happiest ones possible.

What about you? Will you take responsibility for yourself? Your happiness and your health? Or will you give excuses and hope that others will find your happiness and health and hand it to you on a silver platter?


  1. Hi Misc. Mom! Excellent post! Every single aspect of it is spot on! And the funniest great thing is that taking the responsibility makes a person happier!!! Because taking the responsibility means that things will change for the better. Responsibility should not be viewed as such an awful word when its benefit is so awesome!

    :-) Marion

  2. Awe what a great post!!!! People really do try to put their responsibility off on other people. I am not innocent in that situation either sometimes. My weight...yeah alllll me. (literally! ha!)


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