Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Sitting Here Wishin' and Hopin' and Fantasizin'

I am sitting here watching American Idol with my mom and my sister thinking about peoples' dreams. This life is just full of dreams and some people have the tools to realize those dreams and some people acquire those tools along the way and others wouldn't know the first step in looking for those tools. Even more sad than not knowing how to acquire the tools to realize your dreams is not knowing what you dream is.

Watching some of these people on American Idol and not only do they have the tools but the fire and the desire for their dream is just amazing.

I want to realize my dream. I know what it is. I see it in my mind's eye. I can taste it, feel it, almost touch it and I am slowly but surely finding the tools and learning how to use them. Slowly but surely right?

I will admit I ate a little over today. A big part of this journey isn't so much about eating or exercise. It is about changing habits and today I caved, no matter how minimally, to some emotions I am feeling... probably toward Mr. A and his now complete disregard for me. He won't return texts and he is ignoring me completely. I feel something. Angry? Sad? Jealous? Of the women he's talking to? I'm just not sure. I just know I ate some of my feelings today.

I ate a total of 1665 Cals

Today's food:


Flavored oatmeal
Coffee with half and half
Greek Yogurt
460 cals


Smart Ones Chicken in Peanut Sauce
1 serving baked Lays Original
370 Cals


Apple with 2 servings PB2 with chocolate
165 cals


Smart Ones Teriyaki Chicken with fresh broccoli
Small bag chips
510 Cals

1/2 cup coffee ice cream in cake cone
160 Cals


I made this funny picture. My mom says this is what I will look like when I am at goal weight. Thin face with too-big features. Haha, I sure hope not...

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