I really THINK parenting is AN EXPERIENCE.
When I was little all I wanted to be was a wife and mommy.
Well, if you have read this blog at all you know how my marriage ended up and how I feel about my ex (sort of).
Instead ... being a parent is just plain not.what.I.described.above.at.frickin.all.
There are times when parenting is sweet hugs and kind words and cuddles and sincere I love yous and sitting outside in the warmth of the sun (only in the summer up here in the PNW) and just wonderful success.
MOMMY MY BELLY HURTS! MOMMY I THINK I HAVE A BOOGER! (When you tell them to go get a tissue they come to you with the friggin biggest booger you have ever seen hanging off their index finger and THEY WANT YOU TO TAKE IT!!) MOMMY LOOK AT THIS! (YUCK!) AND LOOK AT THIS! WATCH THIS! MOMMY, YOU'RE NOT WATCHING! WATCH! (as they spin in circles and all you can foresee is them crashing into something when they get too dizzy and of course they do and then they cry but that doesn't stop the questions from the other child.)
And come evening: MOMMY I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SLEEP! MOMMY, I'M THIRSTY! MOMMY, I HAVE TO GO POTTY! I'M THIRSTY AGAIN! I'M NOT COMFORTABLE! MY SISTER'S MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE! I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP! I'M HUNGRY! MOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
That doesn't even begin to cover the temper tantrums.
Breezy throws your pretty average temper tantrum. She asks for something and the answer is no, she juts out her bottom lip and the tears well up and she cries. I allow a few moments of crying and then she gets to go to time out to think about why mommy has said no, and why she thinks crying will help and how it won't. That is usually that and she finds herself doing something else...
Sassy on the other hand turns into a friggin gremlin!!
Same scenario, she asks for something and the answer is no. There is no jutting lip, there is no welling of tears. She hits the ground running screaming as loud as she can WHYYYYYYYYY NOTTTTTTT MOMMMMMMMMMM??? I say Sassy we don't yell. She repeats her request as though the answer might change now and once again the answer is no. She picks up whatever is around her or if I am unfortunate enough for her to already be holding something I better move out of the way because it is going to fly. And I say, Sassy we NEVER throw things, let alone when we are angry. At this point she looks me straight in the eye and lets out the most blood curdling, eardrum piercing, skin crawling scream you can imagine. And without missing a beat I generally send her to her room but sending her isn't enough. Because if she decides to stop screaming she will just stare at me vacantly as though she hears nothing I am saying or telling her to do. At one point I thought maybe there was something not clicking upstairs in her head but a couple of times, trying to prove or disprove my theory, I gave in to what she wanted and she turned right around and gradually became happy again. But if I don't cave and I hold my ground, there is no helping me. I have to pick her up kicking and screaming and growling like a wounded lioness, take her to her room where she proceeds to tell me what a bad mommy I am, how she doesn't like me, how I don't think she's a good person and so on and so forth. To which I respond that she doesn't have to like me but I love her and I do think she's a good person but I don't like how she is behaving right now. I try to explain what she did, why it was wrong and what behavior I do expect and that is when the tears well up but
GOD FORBID I TRY AND TOUCH HER OR HUG HER OR COMFORT HER BECAUSE ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE AND THE CYCLE WITH THE GREMLIN WILL START ALL OVER AGAIN! So I have to wait until she is calm and pray she doesn't work herself into hyperventilation. Then, and only then will she allow me to hug her and usually she becomes rigid like a wooden board to begin with because apparently she must show me that she is as angry with me as I was with her.
AND ALL THAT IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG BUT YOU CATCH MY DRIFT. So, as you can imagine I really cherish my alone time after the girls go to sleep. Sometimes I watch my TV shows with my mom. Sometimes I watch them alone. Sometimes I exercise if I haven't exercised twice already and sometimes I just chill and blog. And on the rare occasion if I am feeling particularly drained and I have missed one, I SHOWER. (((gasp)))
Here is another little tidbit about being a parent but specifically a mom. Showers are no longer a priority but a luxury (unless you have a husband who will watch your
But tomorrow is church and a double family birthday party afterward so tonight I showered and I did my do. (do? or due? dew? Yeah, I dunno) And this is how it went. What do you think?
SO BASICALLY IT WENT FROM
THIS TO THIS
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