Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A FAT FOOD DAY, Groin Bumps AND MEET MR. PIERCE

This morning for breakfast I had 1 piece of 100% whole wheat toast with a slice of cheese, a slice of turkey and one egg. It was good. Very very good. From there, well, the food of my day sucked in a way that is only easily explained by telling you what I ate. First though, let me tell you what I DID NOT EAT. I did not eat the meal that was made for us consisting of kielbasa sausage and red rose potatoes that were dripping in cooking oil. Nope, I sure didn't. But the idea was probably only so nauseating because of what I did actually eat. Granted, I only ate 1057 calories but the quality of my food was disgusting to say the least. Lunch consisted of Van De Camp frozen fish sticks and Ora Ida frozen (both baked in the oven) extra crispy crinkled french fries with 1TBSP ranch dressing. That was quickly followed by 5 M&Ms and then a little later 2 little dove squares (as seen to the right of this paragraph - Two of those little pieces). That was it but that was ENOUGH. I felt so horrible after the fish and fries that I didn't dare eat dinner. The M&Ms were to take the taste of fish out of my mouth because honestly it was gross and I am not even sure why I ate it. And the two Dove squares were because they were Breezy's and she didn't want them. Insert here the moment where I became possessed by my former self who believed in the philosophy, 'let nothing your daughters don't eat go to waste,' and promptly popped the two squares into my mouth. Yep, it happens that fast people. Beware of the body snatchers of your previous life(style).

I have been sipping on a Diet Coke ever since . . . And it is keeping my stomach at least tame. I am burping up the nastiness that was the fish and fries but at least the gag reflex has stopped and I no longer feel like I'm going to hurl. See what happens when you go 5 weeks without (much) fatty or fried foods!!

Which brings me to the very sensitive topic of my groin bumps. ((closes eyes, presses lips together and shakes head slowly back and forth)) I imagine you are wondering why I am talking about my groin bumps. Well, because this is MY BLOG and because they are hindering my ability to exercise. Oh no no no, mis amores, don't get me wrong, I HAVE BEEN EXERCISING. But this bumpy thing just above and to the left of my pubic bone burns and pokes the hell out of me while I am exercising. Thus, tomorrow, to the doctor I go (again). I swear, my poor doctor is going to think I am a hypochondriac - or that I just like to go see her. Haha! Uh, yeah, no.

And lastly, but definitely not least, I formally introduce you to MR. PIERCE BROSNAN aka Pister Mierce and Pierce-a-lot (like Lancelot, only not)


Doesn't he look like the most regal and handsome feline? He would never be so rude as to bite or claw, or hiss or do strange ninja maneuvers to get away from his 'pets' of the homosapien variety, now would he?

Here are a few facts about Mr. P, so as to get you all caught up. He is a rescue from the humane society. He was thought to have food and flea allergies and we were given a huge notebook of his history and instructions on how to care for him. Come to find out, his previous owners must have been feeding him rats who had recently ingested poison (this is just speculation on my part) because he pretty much eats WHATEVER and has no allergic reaction. (Although he does get unsightly zits on his chin if he uses plastic water bowls-but that is beside the point) I will also have you know that our tuxedo'd furry friend is also declawed in the front but still has his hind claws (as it is ethically wrong for a vet to remove those and it would just be plain rude to completely take away all defense mechanisms) and his teeth. Let me show you a close up of his teeth.

Okay, okay, okay so those aren't really his teeth but his highness couldn't be bothered to lick my fingers while I tried to shove his lips up gently massage his whisker-ness into compliance so that's the picture you get and in all actuality with 100% no exaggeration, those are what his teeth look like on domestic cat scale.

Regardless, as most of you know, my entire household is sick. Like, 'so sick you might want to tent us and mark QUARANTINE on the front and back doors just in case,'. So, yesterday, my sister who has one of the seven deadly diseases decided to take Mr. Pierce to see my mom who has another of the seven deadly diseases because my mom had literally not left her room for a few days and my sister thought she would show Mr. Pierce (who was all but completely twitterpated by my mom's lack of presence in the front room and kitchen as is his routine) that she was okay. Forward through the petting and such and then my mom sneezes and this sweet cat as shown below...

Please take a moment to watch this liesurely video

video

Does this to escape the confines of my sister's arms. 



And suddenly this sweet face


Turned into this


UN-BE-FREAKIN-LIEVABLE!!

I was in shock as I watched my sisters arm bleed into our bathroom sink. 
I thought (before she explained what happened) that her deadly disease had gotten the best of her.


((AHEM))

Enough of that ...

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming of daily posts about
fat vs thin
weight
diet
 Zumba
binges vs non binges
groin lumps and bumps
sickness woes
sporadic NSVs
child terrors
scale misery
And your every day complaining, ranting, raving, hollering ... Oh, did I just say all that out loud. What I meant to say was back to our regular programming of shits and giggles and what-not.
Okay?
OK

BUT OF COURSE 
REMEMBER TO ALWAYS




3 comments :

  1. Be proud that you accounted for the not so good things! Be proud you still exercised and be proud that you could have done sooooo much worse! You couldve eaten the whole bag of M&M's and the whole Dove candy bar! Thats progress girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's ok! It's going to happen. You're going to have not so great food days and days where you eat stuff and think, OH CRAP! What am I doing? The point is to keep going and making better choices. That's what you did! Whether you realize it or not, that's an NSV! Way to go! :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your eating......I've seen MUCH MUCH MUCH worse (in my own life). You stopped. You recognized. Your body told you it didn't like it.....so move on and congratulate yourself for stopping when you did! :-)

    Pretty kitty! :-) Couldn't watch the video as I'm at work..but I REFUSE to believe that an innocent looking specimen of a cat could cause that damage! (ha ha ha..don't look at my hands....we had to give BATHS to cats recently...uhhh I look like I just crawled through a thorned bush!)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...