Sunday, February 17, 2013

So This Week is an EPIC FAIL and Ends As Such - Onto Week 8

I woke up this morning with a headache. Well, if a headache is what you would actually call it. I think migraine is even too tame a term. So to quote something from somewhere that I don't really remember where it came from, 'If you could describe a tsunami as a wave or a hurricane as an air current' then yes I just had a headache or a migraine. In reality it felt as though my head and brain were being impaled by dulled, serrated, rusted and poison dipped knives that had barbed razors that popped open and stuck as the knife tried to retract out of my skull. Graphic enough for you? Yeah, well at least 4 extra strength Advil took the edge off. I didn't have any Excedrin Migraine that I usually take. Damn pills are never there for me when I need them.

So, after I crawled out of bed and curled up on the couch to pretend like I was being a good mom and sitting with my children in their waking hours, I closed my eyes and pretty much fell back to sleep. The only problem is that when you have a pain in your head as agonizing as mine, the pain doesn't disappear when unconsciousness overtakes you. You still feel it. You dream about it. You have horrifying dreams that you are being stabbed or that your head is being smashed on some torture device or a myriad of other unnaturally terrifying dreams associated with the pain. And then those dreams are constantly pushing you up out of unconsciousness and pulling you back down into the deep dark waters of sleep and it is almost more exhausting and excruciating then if you had just woken up and gotten up.

I don't remember half my day. I remember the sound of the incessant singing of the movies Camp Rock and Camp Rock 2 that Sassy is currently obsessed with and I remember only about a zillion times hissing from where I lay with my head smashed in the couch cushions for her to turn it down! I remember getting up and grabbing something to eat out of the cupboard to eat because by now I felt as though I would not only vomit from the pain but from hunger. It was so very odd.

Around 1ish I actually came out of my pain induced coma to realize that the headache was now its true definition and I could open my eyes and look into the dreary morning clouds back lit by the sun and not feel like a vampire burning to death from the rays (that didn't really exist because like I said it is a cloudy dreary morning) I felt like I could stand without feeling like my brain may fall out my ears or through my nose. And best of all I was able to converse rationally with my sister. Sometimes I wonder when I get these kinds of migraines if I act funny or do weird things because my children are so small they may think mom is 'just being weird' when in reality I am having issues.

But my sister didn't seem to think (or tell me) that anything was out of place, amiss or strange about me (other than the normal - but she doesn't have to tell me about that stuff) I ate a not so healthy snack of Breyers ice cream because it was so cold and my throat was on fire, topped with banana (potassium?) and peanut butter (protein, but too much sugar - I know I know) And we watched re-runs on HULU of The Amazing Race. Apparently I have been living under a rock because I am just now really finding out about this show and I love it. It is so awesome.

I tried to do Zumba, got in all of about 5 minutes of merengue and 5 minutes of salsa and my head started to throb. Not good. I was not in any way going to have another migraine like this morning so I stopped and took 2 more Extra Strength Advil.

Now, here I sit. I feel like I've run a marathon. My whole body aches. My eyes burn like I haven't slept in days. My chest is heavy. I have cramps like I'm going to get my period except I DON'T GET PERIODS because I am on the depo provera shot. I still have a dull ache in my temples that wraps around the top of my head like a helmet but it is tolerable. And I am cold. But hot. It is an endless circle. I bundle up in blankets and then I sweat. I take the blankets off and then I freeze. There is no happy medium.

My children are irritable because the weather sucks and mommy is acting like a mannequin on the sofa, not at all interesting or entertaining, just taking up way too much space. They are fighting and arguing and I have no energy to play referee.

Tomorrow is the end of week 7 and I am calling it a FAIL.

So here is where I ask your opinion.





Thanks in advance people. You're ideas, suggestions, encouragement and comments are worth gold to me.

Until tomorrow.


  1. weigh and record the gain. That is what I would do even though it would hurt my heart. You have been eating like shit (sorry) and you know it. It's time to face the music and then work like hell to lose it next week. It sounds like your body is kick your ass for you with you going of track. Good Luck! :) You know you CAN DO IT- It is just a matter of DOING IT! (Yes, I am looking at myself as I say that)

  2. I always weigh and record it although I have chosen to walk away from the scale this last week due to my cycle. Its always up so I just don't do it. But in this case, do it and know it. Own it and work past it. No point in denying what you already know so just get it over with, chalk it up as one bad week, and keep going. :)

  3. You weigh and record, regardless of the outcome. We have to be accountable for everything. :) Besides it may not be as bad as you think.

  4. Record it is my view...few reasons....
    1. Down the line you will need the encouragement when you look back and realize that you DID have need a TRUE representation of your weight loss journey.
    2. For the sake of argument lets say you gained 5 pounds this week......if you weigh you KNOW. If you don't weigh you move on just the same. Either way you have a PERFECT stellar week the next week. You hop on the scales and you see that you lost 3 pounds. If you weighed the previous week you can be happy that you lost 3 pounds. If you didn't weigh the previous week it looks like you GAINED 2 pounds. Do you follow??? Better to KNOW!!!


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