I am sitting here at 11 o'clock at night.
I don't want to be sitting here.
I want to be warm and asleep in my bed.
But I have a task to complete tonight.
And I am a friggin' basket case
My stomach is in knots
I have chills
Literal skin tingling and mind numbing chills
The sound of my phone vibrating sends me nearly into the roof
I don't want to talk to him
Which is precisely why I must
((pause to check text message))
Typical passive crap
He wants to go to breakfast
I want him to go jump off a bridge
I know that isn't realistic though
So I ask what else he would like to do after breakfast and he gets pissy
Of course he does
He doesn't know what else he wants to do
I need to get across to him a few things though
And I'm not sure how to lead into them
I need him to know
We won't be spending ALL DAY with him anymore
There is no US
And that he needs to be OK with all of that or ...
Well, or too bad really
So I ease into the school situation
The girls and I need a routine for when Sass starts school
We must be home by 6. Period
I pause because the conversation is getting ridiculous
I shall return to untwist my guts when he's done with his insanity
THE CONVERSATION IS TAKING A TURN INTO CRAPPY TERRITORY
Where he tells me he is asking something of me nicely
Which insinuates that he will ask not so nicely or try to force me if I don't comply
And I am writing a play by play basically because I am so agitated
If I distance myself, as though this is happening to someone else
Maybe I will be able to deal with it more rationally
The stress is making me colder
My teeth are chattering
I have goose bumps everywhere
I just want him to stop talking
But he's still talking
And all he really says is blah blah blah
Nothing intelligent or of substance
He just wants what he wants because he wants it and thinks he deserves it
((deep breath - deep sigh))
Here it comes
"Don't take this as a threat, but I am going to find a lawyer who will let me have them more,"
Yes, he said it
He also said he is going to drop one of his jobs to do it
That's all nice and dandy but Sassy is starting school this year
And he has been a negligent parent
I will be okay
My girls will be okay
My nerves are absolutely shot
Give him a little time and he always puts his foot in his mouth
Would you like to see them here at the house?
(This would not be abnormal)
NOPE, he says
Well, all righty then. And I'll be sure to note that.
I think I'll be okay
Even though unfortunately he's STILL texting me
CRIMENY it's 11:58 DUDE!
Go to bed!
Cuz I sure am.
Goodnight bloggy people
(Without Mr. A)