Wednesday, April 3, 2013

OUCH! - Muscle Pain, Success and More Woes of Mr. A

I am in PAIN!

50 semi vertical pushups and 50 deep squats yesterday and yes, this girl is hurting.

Like, I fear going to the bathroom because it hurts so much to sit down.

BUT, I did well today eating

4 small(er-ish) meals (around 200-300 cals each) as opposed to 3 medium (ish) meals (400-500 cals each) a day seem to keep me much more satisfied and much less likely to snack on needless/pointless calories AND I still did my Zumba. Granted it hurt like hell until the last 10 minutes, where my muscles seemed to finally be getting pliable and warm and then it was over and the relief evaporated. I have heard muscle rolling helps with the stuff that builds up in the muscle causing the pain, but I have also heard it hurts like a mother.

The front of my thighs feel extremely tight and the space between my armpit where it connects to my chest (that arm crease... oh come on you know what I am talking about) It H.U.R.T.S.

Oh well,

WIN on the eating AND the exercise today

Tomorrow I am going to see The Host for my sister's belated birthday gift

Yay! I loved the book

Today was a good one.

I am praying that both Sass and Breez are on the mend.

I did have a small issue with Mr. A tonight. Okay, maybe it wasn't small. Or maybe it was, I don't know. I have a hard time distinguishing when I blow things out of proportion because everything that involves my children is headline news to me. (The absolute most important news ever!)

As you may know if you have read my blog long enough, Mr. A sees the girls on Mondays. Yesterday he did not. He chose to pick yesterday as his moving day. Fine. Whatever.

Today he texts me at 3:00 and says he wants to see the girls today.

I tell him it has to be before 5:30 because we have family dinner.

He said he can't do it before 5:30 but how about after dinner.

I tell him the girls need to be in bed by 8 so how about 6:30-7:30

He agrees

(Mind you there was a lot of bickering and semantics and being an ass wipe on his part and me patronizing the hell out of him in the texts but I thought I would spare you the initial drama)

So, we ate dinner and arrived home in expectation of him being there. He wasn't. 6:35 rolled around he wasn't there. 6:40 rolled around and he wasn't there. 6:45 rolled around and he wasn't there. MIND YOU HE LITERALLY HAS 60 MINS TONIGHT WITH HIS KIDS and he sure as hell is not making the most of it by arriving more than 15 minutes late.

Finally he arrived around 6:47-6:50ish

He stood at the gate in the backyard and motioned for my daughters (who, let me remind you have acute bronchitis and what is probably a developing case of it) to come outside. If I hadn't told them to stay right where they were, they may have popped right out the door, ran to him and he could have disappeared into thin air with them. Yeah, no, not happening on my watch. So, I tell him if he wants to see them he needs to come inside. He waves toward his car as if beckoning someone inside and I immediately know he brought the nephews. So, I call to him, 'JUST YOU!' because #1 he didn't ask if he could bring anyone. #2 he isn't allowed to bring anyone to MY home #3 and most importantly this is time for him to be with his girls, not family time for nephews and aunts and uncles. This is daddy daughter time only. Period.

So, while he plays with iPads and things in the apartment, I sit in the kitchen. Sassy comes out with the biggest saddest eyes and tells me, 'Daddy says his nephews are in the car and that you won't let them in.'

Yep, he went there. He not only gave them information they did not need to know at all, and he not only played on their want to see their (disgusting, poorly mannered, pierced, tattooed and foul mouthed older than 21) cousins but also he made ME THE BAD GUY. I tried to explain to her that mommy has to prepare for guests and that I had invited daddy over. Just daddy. I didn't want to get into all the reasons that there was no way in hell I was letting his riffraff nephews in our house. I mean, she's only 5 and they are her cousins. So, I kept it simple.

Mr. A only spent about 35 minutes with them total and the majority of the time was spent talking about how I wouldn't let the nephews in the house and why. I can only imagine what he actually told them. MEAN MEAN MOMMY! But hey, I have to do what is best for them and the presence of their cousins is NOT IN THEIR BEST INTEREST... EVER! But especially when it is daughter daddy time.

So he left, and now I am saddled with when I have to lay down the rules. Do I wait until he brings up the subject or do I just lay down the law and initiate it all??

  • Be on time when he says he is going to visit
  • Understand these visits are intended as bonding time between him and his daughters ONLY
  • No guests unless he asks first (to which my answer will surely be no, but he can still ask) 
  • No girlfriends EVER! EVER... EVER...
  • He can't call the girls to come out and meet him for goodness sake! They are almost 4 and 5. Not 14 and 15. They have no business meeting him at the gate, more than 50 feet away from our door. He should come in to them. ALWAYS! 
  • And to stop talking derogatorily about me to them, or about me at all to them. 
I don't tell them all the horrific stories I could tell them about him. But that is for their sake, not his. Their fragile and easily influenced minds (all children - not just mine) can't handle when one parent they love loathes the other parent so openly. I can vent here or with my family when the girls are asleep but I have no reason to tell my children that their father is a worthless piece of shit, not worth the air he breathes or the gas he emits. They can find that out on their own as they get older.

And to end this overly bright and cheery post I will say ...


Goodnight people


  1. So sorry you have to deal with "ex" drama.. Mine lives clear across the country and see's his son once a year!! His loss.. Stay strong and it looks like you are raising some beautiful ladies!! We can do this!!!

  2. I think you have to deal with it up front or it is going to continue. I wouldn't always say no to visitors though -- I can understand the nephews if they are trouble makers in the true sense of the words. But I wouldn't always say no. Even to a GF. Mostly because, better to know her than not, ya know? But all the other stuff sounds reasonable and needs to be addressed. Otherwise, he's going to keep doing it. You just have to find a way of doing it without blowing your top!

  3. You need CALGON, girl! :)


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