Monday, June 3, 2013

My Last Word on the Subject

Generally when you have a rapport with someone you have an inkling about what they say and what they do

Even if the person is an acquaintance, when you have interacted through the Internet or the phone you have just a small idea how they may react

So, if you are aware of the post I commented on then you know where the story begins. If not, it really isn't so important as to fill in details.

In fact I am only clarifying because I received two nasty e-mails and a rebuttal of sorts to my last post on the blog where everything went down

As I said, there is a certain rapport individuals gain when interacting with each other

The person who took such offense to a comment I posted on one of her posts should not have taken such offense or thought that I was pointing fingers if she had taken into consideration that I had never pointed fingers or judged her before - we have even had discussions regarding the very topic that went so awry

We had a rapport

She had no reason to believe I was judging or pointing fingers unless she was projecting her own guilt and sadness into my comment. I specifically said I was not judging her. That I had been in a similar situation as her and yet she still chose to take offense.

Enter a third person with whom I do not have any rapport; her husband, who defended his wife quite boldly. (As any good husband would do) However, I do not know him and the way he responded to my comment wasn't well received by me.

Now if the woman herself had responded that my comment offended her, I think things would have turned out a little differently.

But instead of facing my comment and telling me that it had hurt her, her husband did it for her

I'm not a fan - especially since she didn't take the opportunity to confront me in the space and time between my interaction on her blog and my post on my own. And just as my comment was misinterpreted, her husband's comment was interpreted by me as fairly cold and condescending. (Which I suppose is to be expected if my comment had been nasty - I really don't think it was nasty though)

Hence my post on my blog

Now, let me tell you what had happened previously to this incident

  • I had a really bad day with food - my hormones were everywhere (no excuse, right?)
  • My daughter had just been misdiagnosed as healthy when in reality her finger bone was split
  • I was having some family issues that I won't go into that brought my own history to the forefront
  • My ex husband was texting quite explicitly back and forth with his 'girl' friend or girlfriend and the texts started coming to my daughter's iPad - you can imagine I was a bit distressed
  • I had been reading blog after blog looking for something to yank me out of my uninspired fit only to find everyone else in slumps too - no one's fault but then I happened upon her post
  • I had received an e-mail from a high school friend boasting about some things that needless to explain made me jealous and sad
  • There are a few other things that I don't care to share because while significant, they are too close to home right now
Now, there is a rebuttal - not really - but there isn't a proper word for what she wrote condemning my post as if it was solely about her. It wasn't. Pure and simple. Again a misinterpretation. 

Was the post triggered by her very emotional post? Yes. 

Was it triggered by the response of her husband to what I felt was a well intended and conversational comment on her post? Yes. 

Could it have been avoided if she had confronted me personally? Yes. 

But was the entire post solely about her? No. 

Will the entire incident even be a second thought in my head after I press publish? No. 

Will I continue to comment openly with good intentions? Probably not on hers. 
Which makes me kinda sad because I loved her blog. 

Oh well, lesson learned

And that is that . . .




3 comments :

  1. Firstly, so sorry that my actions have been offensive to you. To clear the air I had no issues whatsoever with your comment on my blog, therefore I had no reason to come to you personally. My husband (with his own login) posted his response to your comment without my knowledge (I had gone to bed by this time) and before I could say anything you had put up that post including hurtful words about me (which you admit was triggered by my emotional post). I very much appreciated your comment giving your support words and was not in any way offended by that. Your outburst seemed to be vented at me (despite it not being me who said a reply to your comment). As for the emails, I know nothing of these. We should all be here to support eachother and honestly I was only hurt by the descriptive words you used in your blogpost about me and my post ... not about the lovely comment you left on my blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for your reply to my email chick ... and so glad we could sort this out :D yay go us!! *hugs*

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  2. Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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