As of last week I have only lost 10lbs and for me, at my weight that feels like a pittance. Normally on a 'diet' my first week I lose the entire 10lbs I've lost BUT I realized that not only is it worth losing it more slowly if I can keep up with it in the long run instead of burning out after the 2nd week, but if I steadily lose 10ish lbs over a year, I will have lost 120lbs. Granted, that is not all I would like to lose but I know that I will feel so much better when I get there. I feel so much better now.
I will admit that I have had a bit of an affair with Aspartame again. I have completely eliminated artificial sweeteners like Splenda and Equal from my diet in their own pure chemical form. But I will confess to drinking an occasional diet coke, or getting the sugar-free vanilla syrup in the iced coffee at McDonalds. I still use Sugar in the Raw in my coffee and I have gone from 8-9 packets of Splenda in a large coffee to a slightly healthier 1/4 cup of the raw sugar to only 3-4tsps of it. I am proud of this accomplishment. I realized something about my coffee and its correlation to my migraines also. I always thought that when I skipped my morning coffee or was unable to have it and then got a massive migraine that I was having caffeine withdrawals. Today, I didn't have ANY coffee or caffeine until dinner with no migraine on the horizon so I think it was actually SPLENDA migraines I was having withdrawals from which makes sense because the first two weeks after cutting it out of my diet I had chronic headaches and a few bad migraines.
|I went out on a coffee date |
and felt pretty for the very first time
in a very very long time
My family has been having a rough time. One person is holding a grudge against someone else and it is petty and ridiculous to everyone except that one person, which is tearing the rest of us apart. Some of us are getting antsy with the small living quarters of our current living situation and so there have been a lot of unnecessary barking-bickering-biting of each others' heads off. Sassy started kindergarten and loves it. Breezy feels a new sense of freedom with her sister gone for 6 hours every other day. And even though I don't consider him family (to me) anymore, he is still the girls' dad and so I have to say that he has not seen them or contacted them personally in almost 35 days. He has e-mailed me to see them outside the parenting plan, but other than that he has made no effort to call. Once he asked me to tell them he loved them and it broke my heart when Breezy said she loved him too but all Sassy said was 'thank you'. That man thinks I am hurting him and his daughters by enforcing a parenting plan that he refuses to abide by, and yet he has no idea the pain he has caused in their fragile little-girl hearts. It makes me very sad. But they will be okay. They have so much family around them that loves them. A great grandpa who dotes on them, a grandpa who teases and plays and chases them around, a great uncle who gives the best hugs ever and a maybe uncle (my sister's boyfriend) who is like the best human jungle gym ever. Though nothing replaces a father's presence in a child's life my children could not want for more love.
I have been reading some very inspirational blogs lately but I have to say that Katie at Runs for Cookies never fails to inspire me. I have never read her entire blog. In fact I found it on accident going through other peoples' reading lists, but going through her archives there is so much hope and inspiration and positivity in her words. Even when awful things (like breaking her jaw) happened. Another blogger who wholly inspires me is Mae over at Reduced Fat Diary. Her success and accomplishments are amazing.
|My weigh in Uniform in place |
so I don't have to change in the morning
Roll out of bed and to the meeting I go
Anyway, so like I said tomorrow is my 6th weigh in at WW counting the Starting Weigh In and I will post as usual my weigh in, measurements, etc. I feel like I do well every week but I think I need to tweak the numbers a bit to better my weigh ins. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just impatient. I keep thinking, I already get so many points per day and then I get about the same amount for weekly points to split among the days or to use when I go out or for something special and then on top of that I get activity points. I have never used my activity points and only one week did I use all my weekly points but I keep thinking maybe I shouldn't use any and just stick to my daily points. It is a vicious circle and tomorrow will tell if this 1lb a week trend will continue or not. I would be giddy to report that I've lost 5 more lbs bringing me to 15lbs but I can only hope and pray that I didn't gain from water weight (because I'm doing every damn thing I can - staying inside my allotted points and even including making sure I get 100% on my activity monitor) So, I better have lost at least 2lbs.
It's late now. I should sleep. My body hurts from all the walking and lifting I did today. (Full months grocery
shopping with two small children and lots of 10lb plus bags of groceries is NOT EASY) but I got 125% activity. And now it is time to set the activity aside and rest. Even my fingers and my eyes.
Until tomorrow . . . Good night