Monday, September 30, 2013

Week 8 Progress


I lost 3lbs this week, bringing me to 20 pounds lost total in 8 weeks!





The above photos are obviously comparisons of week 1 and week 8
The photos below are comparisons of week 7 and week 8







End Wk 1 End wk 2 End wk 3 End wk 4 End wk 5  End wk7 End wk 8
Dress Size 28 & 3xl 28 & 3xl 28 & 3xl 28 & 3xl 28 & 3xl 28 &3xl? 26 & 2xl
Bust 42.5 42 41.5 41.5 41.5 41 40.5
Arms 19 18.5 18.5 18 18 18 17
Waist 50.5 49.5 48 47.5 47 46 45
Hips 67 66.75 66.5 66.5 64.5 64.5 63.5
Thighs 33.5 33 33 32 31.5 31 31

I lost 3.5 inches this week and a total of 14.5 inches in 8 weeks!!

I had a few stumbles this week
*using my weekly points too soon
*not getting as much exercise as I normally do
*scrambling to make up some points activity wise for over indulgences in food
*Just being unsure (but not out of control) of my food choices
But apparently I was able to right them and move forward
I wasn't sure how the scale would read this morning
But with a 3lb loss after a 3lb loss last week
I know I must be doing something right!!

T- 11 days until we leave for Disneyland!!







Tuesday, September 24, 2013

8 Week Comparisons


Above week 1-4
Below 5-8



Above week 1-4
Below 5-8




Above week 1-4
Below 5-8




Above week 1-4
Below 5-8








Monday, September 23, 2013

Week 7 Progress


I lost 3.4lbs this week which brought my total lost to 17lbs and 5%!
(I'm not sure why my card says 3.8 - apparently someone was having a bad math day)

I have a wicked awful sore throat so I will just be posting my measurements and progress photos and that is about it. This is going to be a busy week and thus this mama must get rest and get better.



End Wk 1 End wk 2 End wk 3 End wk 4 Endwk 5 Endwk 7
Dress Size 28 28 28 28 28 28?
Bust 42.5 42 41.5 41.5 41.5 41
Arms 19 18.5 18.5 18 18 18
Waist 50.5 49.5 48 47.5 47 46
Hips 67 66.75 66.5 66.5 64.5 64.5
Thighs 33.5 33 33 32 31.5 31

2 inches lost this week and 13 inches total in 7 weeks











Monday, September 16, 2013

Week 6 Progress

I don't have much to say except that I didn't lose anything this week. Probably from the DUMB idea of eating chicken fried rice for dinner last night. I asked for very light oil but forgot to ask them to go light on the soy sauce also. Yep! Hello, SODIUM!

In any case I am not frustrated because I know the cause and my progress pictures speak for themselves. I am in a bit of a hurry so progress photos are about all I have time to post.

Current weight is still 322 and I lost an inch this week total.

This is supposed to say week 7 not week 2 (durr)











Sunday, September 15, 2013

I Didn't Trip . . .


Last night we took Sassy and Breezy to the park after a nice evening walk through the neighborhood. Afterward the girls wanted me to chase them but I didn't feel like doing the chasing so I told them to get me and I set off running. Not jogging. Running. As fast as I could push myself and this 300+lb body can run fast and far now without getting winded. I was impressed with myself. I loved the feeling of the wind in my face and going fast on my own volition.





I stopped at the steps to the front of our house and let my kids catch up to me. They thought it was great to finally 'catch mommy' and then I set off again and they screamed with delight as I ran. However, by now dusk and turned to full on night and it was hard to see in the dark. I didn't remember the tree roots that were lifting the sidewalk or the sewer drain opening that sunk into the sidewalk and as I ran, feeling the crisp cool night air and feeling like I was actually living, my toe

caught on the lip of the sunken sewer opening. My first and last thought before I hit the ground was, "I can't stop myself from falling," and I didn't even try to. Instead I curled into my left side and ended up rolling to the left into the grass. BUT not before I tore up my left elbow, gave myself a nice elbow to wrist cement burn, pulled chunks of skin from most of my left hand knuckles and bruised my leg and hip. Only later would I realize I had also scraped my belly.


This was taken AFTER I cleaning myself up with the help of my mom and gramma
I was kind of out of it and shaken up
The last time I fell that hard was when I was pregnant with Sassy
and slipped on a spill inside the supermarket
Even then I had only bruised my butt bone, not scraped my skin off







No matter how big I make this picture it is difficult to see the faint pink burn that measures literally from my elbow to my wrist and is most prominent in the middle where the cluster of freckles are.



See the pretty crescent shaped scratches on my belly?
Nice huh?


All cleaned up, with antibiotic and bandaids. 

A good friend of mine said the most awesome thing when I told her the story:

"YOU DIDN'T TRIP, YOU ATTACKED THE SIDEWALK!"

Oh yes! LOL

Weigh in tomorrow!
Stay tuned





Friday, September 13, 2013

TUMOR? LYMPH NODE? CYST? WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!?!

Last night before finally falling into bed I performed my nightly ritual of removing my Activelink and my bra. However, as I did so the strap snapped back on my skin and it REALLY REALLY hurt - much more than it EVER should hurt. So, being the worry wart cautious person that I am, I immediately went to the bathroom to inspect my armpit because I really thought that one of the clasps had cut me - that is how much it hurt.

There was a pink spot where I assumed it had 'got me' and I touched it, immediately horrified to find a large marble sized hard lump. My very first thought, I kid you not, was 'I have breast cancer'... Like I said ... very cautious person worry wart. I inspected and poked and prodded and probably irritated the hell out of whatever it was and then went to sleep, only to dream of horrific periods and dying and a bunch of other ridiculousness.

This morning I woke up and touched the area tentatively and low-and-behold it was still there and bigger. I freaked. Dressed Sassy, fed her breakfast and took her to school before dragging Breezy to the same day clinic to check it out. The entire time I kept trying to distract myself. It's nothing. It is a swollen lymph node. It is a cyst. It's an ingrown hair. I kept telling myself these things but in the back of my over emotional and paranoid mommy brain I kept thinking, I'm going to have breast cancer and I'm going to die and my children are going to be traumatized.

Fast forward through check in, being sent across the hall to a different doctor, being weighed, being told I had a low grade fever but GREAT blood pressure and then wearing the fun little tent shaped gown that buttons up the front for breast exams and then the doctor was in the room. God must have given me peace because I didn't even bat an eyelash when her brow crinkled and she didn't say anything. She manipulated my armpit for several moments (which felt like eternity) and then pressed her lips together and nodded. "It's not a lymph node," she said and I felt my entire body and mind freeze thinking OH HOLY HELL. And then she said, "It's a mildly infected sebaceous cyst'.

Enter the most embarrassing and over exaggerated sigh of relief.

So I have this monstrosity of a cyst under my armpit that I need to put hot wet compresses on as often as possible to try to bring it to a head. FUN TIMES YO!

Breezy was embarrassed by my tent dress and once the doctor was gone, insisted I dress as quickly as possible. I didn't care. I was just.so.relieved.

The rest of the day has been uneventful. Dinner (which is usually spent with the whole family on Fridays) will be spent with my grandparents only. My mom and cousin and aunt will be in a nearby city watching and playing in a volleyball game. And my sister and step-dad will be going to a concert.

I don't care though. I love spending time with my grandparents. Plus, the menu is steak, baked potato and fresh cooked carrots. Nom nom nom.

Two days till weigh in!

Stay tuned!




I Can't Sleep - I've seen dreams that move the mountains

It is 12:35 am and I am exhausted 
To the point that my body aches and I'm freezing 
That could have something to do with the air conditioning directly on my feet also - 
but who's really paying attention? 
I have to be up in 6 hours to get myself and Sassy ready for her alternate Friday at school. 
But my thoughts are just running rampant 
and truly, not about anything in particular. 
Anxiety. 
A bit of sadness. 
Anticipation (which is the good kind of anxiety). 
Even excitement. 
I just can't bring myself to go to bed. 
I have this song stuck in my head. 
Well, the chorus of it is stuck on loop. 
I don't know the rest of the words. 
I don't even know the title of the song or who it is sung by. 


I've seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Anyway, another cause of my sudden insomnia could be all this exercise I am suddenly doing.
I wake up at 6:45 and am on the go pretty much until 8pm when the girls go to bed. 
Today I did a neighborhood walk 2 times and played at the park with the girls 
for 2.5 hours if you consolidate two trips
I pushed them on swings
Held them up for monkey bars
Flipped them on straight bars
Held them across the zipline
And this morning with Breezy I walked the perimeter of the basketball court
12 times
My Activelink says I did 180% of my fitness goal and earned 8 PointsPlus
And this has been the norm for the past few days
I think the fatigue is catching up with my body and now it just doesn't know how to shut down
or relax

Tomorrow my mom and my gramma and I are also having a garage sale 
to raise spending funds for Disneyland
So after Sassy goes to school
Breezy and I will be coming back home to sell some crap junk stuff TREASURE
That's the word I choose to use and I'm sticking to it
EVEN IF IT IS A LOAD OF HOOEY

Week 6 will end in 3 days and so far I think I am doing pretty well
Yesterday was an out of control day
Not because I binged or overate
But because I didn't plan and consumed my allotted points way before I intended to
Thus, dinner was broccoli, watermelon and pineapple
(all 0 PointsPlus values)

I'm still writing
My WIP (work in progress) is now 175 pages and I believe 8 chapters
It is coming along nicely
even though I have become preoccupied lately and haven't been able to write as much as I'd like
Haste makes waste though, I've always heard
Slow and steady wins the race
AGAIN A BUNCH OF HOOEY
But since I really have no other choice, I'll stick with that too

Now I am going to go lay down and count the texture in the walls to put me to sleep
Hope all of you out there in blogland are either sleeping well
Or are waking up (woken up) after having slept well



Until I write again ...


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Lead Me

My Motto for the Day
And if ever I have a husband, this is what I will need:

"Lead Me"
Sanctus Real
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Bomb Threat


On that note, today was commemorated when I was rudely woken by an e-mail from my daughter's school saying that they were closed for the day due to local public school bomb threats. WHAT?!?!

6 schools were closed. That is thousands of children didn't go to school because some idiot thought it would be a good idea for whatever reason to send several written bomb threats to an elementary school in the area.

I am so tired of people. Tired, that they think it is okay. Tired that people who have mental deficiencies aren't properly cared for so that they are not able to do these things.

*Yes, just last February a boy was arrested for writing a bomb threat on the high school bathroom's wall and he was mentally deficient with a myriad of disorders and the reason for the threat? He wanted to get out of something he had to do in one of his classes. His father said he had the mental capacity of a 10-11 year old which in my opinion isn't an excuse. 10-11 year olds, hell even my 5 year old knows better than to threaten me or any of her friends to get her way. It just isn't acceptable.

NOT OKAY!

As a parent this is horrifying because every threat, whether it be a bomb or knives, or guns used with bad intent and by criminally minded people threaten MY CHILD and therefore ME. Even if it is JUST A THREAT it doesn't matter. More care needs to be taken to teach our children that this is not okay, so that when they become teenagers they realize that these kind of drastic measures are not a resolution and when these children/teens become adults they live their lives as non-chaotic, non-violent and non-volatile human beings, considerate of others' space, possessions, and feelings. As well as understanding natural consequences for actions. So many people just don't have any concept of consequences anymore or they don't think they apply to them.

And the people that do this because they are somehow mentally incapacitated - well, it is then the fault of their caretaker and if they don't have a caretaker with our lovely socialist government handing out money to every Tom, Dick and Larry as well as health insurance being mandatory - then why shouldn't these people be properly cared for and supervised so they are incapable of criminal activity?

Anyway, a lot seems to be going down in many places today. So, I will just pray and remember:

'If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.' - II Chronicles 7:14

Monday, September 9, 2013

Week 5 Progress

Yesterday was the end of week 5. 
Today starts week 6. 
I am pretty excited about this. 
Tomorrow Sassy starts her first 'real' week at school
She only went Thursday of last week
Only 1 week until the jog-a-thon
Only 2 weeks until picture day
Only 2 weeks until our favorite cousin's birthday
Only 4.5 weeks until we leave for Disneyland
And we arrive on my 29th birthday!!
We will be there for a whole 10 days
I am so stoked
And
And meanwhile I will be chugging along being Verse Parent at school
(Which means I test kids on the memorization of their Bible verse)
As well as room mom
On top of that are any other volunteer hours I choose to put in 
And then the holidays will be upon us!
My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

Ok, ok, ok - to the weigh in

Yesterday I said I wanted to lose 5lbs but NEEDED to lose about 2lbs to feel like I was making progress
God is good because I LOST
3.6lbs 
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
Not unrealistic as 5 but above my minimum of 2!!
God KNOWS what I needed to see
So now I have lost a total of 13.6lbs
Apparently Myfitnesspal rounds up though so my ticker reads 14lbs
I'LL TAKE IT
I only have 3.4lbs to lose until I reach my 5% goal!! 
Woot!!
YESSSSSSSS!!!!!
This is my YES face even though I look constipated
My measurements are as follows:

End Wk 1 End wk 2 End wk 3 End wk 4 End wk 5
Dress Size 28 28 28 28 28?
Bust 42.5 42 41.5 41.5 41.5
Arms 19 18.5 18.5 18 18
Waist 50.5 49.5 48 47.5 47
Hips 67 66.75 66.5 66.5 64.5
Thighs 33.5 33 33 32 31.5
I have lost a total of 3" this week with 2 of those being directly off my MONDO hips
I jokingly told my mom that I am now exactly as wide as I am tall. 
Not really funny but heck it's better than being WIDER than I am tall
I have now lost a TOTAL of 10" 
There is also a question mark next to my dress size 
because I may fit in a smaller size but haven't tried it out yet
I DO KNOW that I went from a size 3x in shirt down to 2x 
so eventually I should probably notate that somewhere

And now for my progress photos:

(The progression was getting to long to fit inside my post limits so you get week 1 and this week)



I feel like my legs look longer


I am amazed that this is the same shirt ... 

First photo shirt is naturally tight - second picture I have it pulled out to my side to make it tight
(sorry about the mirror - my 4 year old likes to breathe on it and make pictures.. yuck)


Now I am off to the shed
As in, the shed in my backyard
To pull out all the fall stuff to decorate with
Because I am just in the fall - holidayish sort of mood

I will leave you with a photo of my loves!!
They are so silly and so awesome
I truly love them so
They are my life






Sunday, September 8, 2013

Shall We Play Catch Up?

Tomorrow starts my 6th week on Weight Watchers. Normally when I start a diet or a 'healthy lifestyle' or a 'journey' the first week trudges on like molasses and by the fourth or fifth day I am thinking, HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS? In 5 full weeks I have never had to ask myself that question on Weight Watchers. I don't feel the need to cheat. I don't feel deprived. I don't feel like I'm 'on a diet'.

As of last week I have only lost 10lbs and for me, at my weight that feels like a pittance. Normally on a 'diet' my first week I lose the entire 10lbs I've lost BUT I realized that not only is it worth losing it more slowly if I can keep up with it in the long run instead of burning out after the 2nd week, but if I steadily lose 10ish lbs over a year, I will have lost 120lbs. Granted, that is not all I would like to lose but I know that I will feel so much better when I get there. I feel so much better now.

I will admit that I have had a bit of an affair with Aspartame again. I have completely eliminated artificial sweeteners like Splenda and Equal from my diet in their own pure chemical form. But I will confess to drinking an occasional diet coke, or getting the sugar-free vanilla syrup in the iced coffee at McDonalds. I still use Sugar in the Raw in my coffee and I have gone from 8-9 packets of Splenda in a large coffee to a slightly healthier 1/4 cup of the raw sugar to only 3-4tsps of it. I am proud of this accomplishment. I realized something about my coffee and its correlation to my migraines also. I always thought that when I skipped my morning coffee or was unable to have it and then got a massive migraine that I was having caffeine withdrawals. Today, I didn't have ANY coffee or caffeine until dinner with no migraine on the horizon so I think it was actually SPLENDA migraines I was having withdrawals from which makes sense because the first two weeks after cutting it out of my diet I had chronic headaches and a few bad migraines.

I went out on a coffee date
and felt pretty for the very first time
in a very very long time
OH AND speaking of coffee, with the holidays right around the corner all my favorite ones are now back. Pumpkin Spice Lattes and the Peppermint creamer ...mmm mmm mmm

My family has been having a rough time. One person is holding a grudge against someone else and it is petty and ridiculous to everyone except that one person, which is tearing the rest of us apart. Some of us are getting antsy with the small living quarters of our current living situation and so there have been a lot of unnecessary barking-bickering-biting of each others' heads off. Sassy started kindergarten and loves it. Breezy feels a new sense of freedom with her sister gone for 6 hours every other day. And even though I don't consider him family (to me) anymore, he is still the girls' dad and so I have to say that he has not seen them or contacted them personally in almost 35 days. He has e-mailed me to see them outside the parenting plan, but other than that he has made no effort to call. Once he asked me to tell them he loved them and it broke my heart when Breezy said she loved him too but all Sassy said was 'thank you'. That man thinks I am hurting him and his daughters by enforcing a parenting plan that he refuses to abide by, and yet he has no idea the pain he has caused in their fragile little-girl hearts. It makes me very sad. But they will be okay. They have so much family around them that loves them. A great grandpa who dotes on them, a grandpa who teases and plays and chases them around, a great uncle who gives the best hugs ever and a maybe uncle (my sister's boyfriend) who is like the best human jungle gym ever. Though nothing replaces a father's presence in a child's life my children could not want for more love.

I have been reading some very inspirational blogs lately but I have to say that Katie at Runs for Cookies never fails to inspire me. I have never read her entire blog. In fact I found it on accident going through other peoples' reading lists, but going through her archives there is so much hope and inspiration and positivity in her words. Even when awful things (like breaking her jaw) happened. Another blogger who wholly inspires me is Mae over at Reduced Fat Diary. Her success and accomplishments are amazing.

My weigh in Uniform in place
so I don't have to change in the morning
Roll out of bed and to the meeting I go


Anyway, so like I said tomorrow is my 6th weigh in at WW counting the Starting Weigh In and I will post as usual my weigh in, measurements, etc. I feel like I do well every week but I think I need to tweak the numbers a bit to better my weigh ins. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just impatient. I keep thinking, I already get so many points per day and then I get about the same amount for weekly points to split among the days or to use when I go out or for something special and then on top of that I get activity points. I have never used my activity points and only one week did I use all my weekly points but I keep thinking maybe I shouldn't use any and just stick to my daily points. It is a vicious circle and tomorrow will tell if this 1lb a week trend will continue or not. I would be giddy to report that I've lost 5 more lbs bringing me to 15lbs but I can only hope and pray that I didn't gain from water weight (because I'm doing every damn thing I can - staying inside my allotted points and even including making sure I get 100% on my activity monitor) So, I better have lost at least 2lbs.


It's late now. I should sleep. My body hurts from all the walking and lifting I did today. (Full months grocery
shopping with two small children and lots of 10lb plus bags of groceries is NOT EASY) but I got 125% activity. And now it is time to set the activity aside and rest. Even my fingers and my eyes.

Until tomorrow . . . Good night


Monday, September 2, 2013

Week 4 Progress (No Weigh In Until Tomorrow)

Weigh in will be tomorrow this week considering today is Labor Day and there aren't any WWs open. ((sigh))

There hasn't been much going on
I have some epidermal fissures where my thigh meets my stomach (groin area) that hurt like heck and I am trying to figure out with the doctor what to do with them
They are chronic and severely painful, especially when couples with the external yeast infections I am prone to down there

Here are my photos and measurements for the week as well as some photos from our 'Start of School' photo shoot with Sassy and her cousin
































Column1 End Wk 1 End wk 2 End wk 3 End wk 4
Dress Size 28 28 28 28
Bust 42.5 42 41.5 41.5
Arms 19 18.5 18.5 18
Waist 50.5 49.5 48 47.5
Hips 67 66.75 66.5 66.5
Thighs 33.5 33 33 32

I lost 2 inches this week and a total of 7 inches. 





And that is all I have for now.
Weigh in tomorrow.
'Til then . . . 



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