Friday, January 24, 2014

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Dentist and Decapitation of a Big Toe

A Little History

The last time I saw a dentist I was 18 or 19 years old
In case the math eludes you that is 10+ years ago
I have (until today) had 2 cavities in my entire life 
(one that was extremely superficial and filled so I had to dole out more money to appease my dentist)

Into the Present

Today I had my first dental appointment
First I had to go through hell trying to find an office that would take my insurance
Then when I found them I was so excited
I went to my appointment this morning
Filled out the necessary paperwork
Including medical history
(And yet the history didn't ask how long it had been since my last visit ... hmmm)
And then the dental assistant took me back for x-rays
I have a really bad gag reflex
So when she stuck those tongue depressor things in my mouth
And told me to bite down
I wanted to punch her
After I vomited everywhere
No, I didn't vomit but there were moments I thought I would
After what felt like a zillion X-rays
She told me that because I had a history of high blood pressure
(When I was pregnant 5+ years ago)
They needed to take my BP
I was wearing a very thick hooded sweatshirt
With nothing underneath
I was not about to take it off
And the temper tantrums my kids had just before I left
Couples with the 'lack of caffeine headache' I was getting
Compounded by the freak factor of being at the dentist
Did nothing for my BP
Yeah, 140 over 102
My normal BP on a normal day is 122 over 82-86
I wanted to punch the assistant again
when she widened her eyes and told me I should see my doctor about that
I gritted my teeth and told her my doctor had my health under control
And by the way, I realize it is her job
I was just in a bad and freaked out mood being there in the first place
After that the hygienist came in and tested my gums for gingivitis and periodontal disease
Thank goodness my bone density is good
But I do have some serious gingivitis
AND  3 cavities on the left side
AND 2 cavities on the right side
All in all though the dentist said that is really good
for someone who hadn't seen the dentist in more than a decade
Then the assistant came back in after the exam
And she told me that the dentist had called for fillings of the cavities
and a deep cleaning which includes anesthetic
because they dig under the gums
as well as laser - something - or - other to keep plaque away
The catch was that while the deep cleaning is covered by my insurance
the laser is not
No big deal right?
The laser is required for the deep cleaning
MMMk, well that's fine
How much is the laser?
$60 per quadrant of the mouth
The mouth has 4 quadrants
That is $240
Haha, this unemployed single mama does not have an extra $240 to throw around
for an unnecessary laser that their corporate office deemed a requirement
So, after that fiasco I had to go home and find ANOTHER dentist
who would take my insurance
and who would take another office's x-rays
AND who would mark my exam as something else
because my insurance only covers 1 exam a year
I finally found one
Only by God's good grace
And so I now have an appointment for an 'emergency exam'
They will take the other office's x-rays
And I can get my cavities done
Then my deep cleaning
without the stupid lasers
And ALL covered by my insurance

The Decapitation of a Big Toe

The rest of the day went well until Sassy and Breezy were trying to watch TV
Our apartment is attached the the laundry room of the main house
and the door to the laundry room was open with the dryer running loudly
They couldn't hear the TV so Breezy got up to close it
And somehow ran her big toe directed into the sharp part of the lower edge of the door
Literally decapitating her toe
I was in the bathroom at the time
The scream was so blood curdling I didn't even have time to wipe
Up went my pants and I saw Breezy standing there crying so hard it was silent
I picked her up and asked her where
Just point where
When I finally got that it was her foot, I looked down and her toe was just gushing
Thank God again that my grandpa is an amazing man who lives just across the alley
And though he has many doctorates he is not an actual physician
But even though he has never studied in the medical field
he is better than any doctor we could have gone to
I rushed her to his house
(with Sassy running after me trying desperately not to look at Breezy's gushing toe)
Where he calmly cleaned it up
Inspected it
Said stitches would not be necessary
(I believe him due to many experiences with my own injuries that he has taken care of)
*A occurrence with me riding my bike (stupidly) down some stairs, crashing and landing in a freshly cut rose bush where a branch went straight through my palm comes to mind
He performed his magic using surgical tape, polysporin and bandaids
I then gave Breezy a good dose of children's Advil
and we have been resting since

Insert major sigh of relief
And I thank God in the heavens for small favors
The whole dentist fiasco could have gone so much worse
There could have been so much more wrong with my mouth
I could still be looking for another dentist to help me

And I thank God that all Breezy hurt was her toe
God forbid it had been her head or her neck or back
A toe
(while painful and bleeds like a sieve)
is a whole lot better than the alternative

And now
I have kids to put to sleep
I have shows to watch
Gray's Anatomy
Vampire Diaries
White Collar
(all on DVR and Hulu of course)
I have laundry to finish
I have Hay Day to play
And I have glorious sleep to look forward to

Goodnight friends

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